2/05/2004 09:54:00 PM 0 Comments »
first of all, i would like to apologise to sape2 yg berkenaan. no one in particular, but i guess these past few days/weeks/months, i've been hurting other ppl unintentionally. well, not quite true, but when i shut myself from any possible contact and if this particular behaviour hurts other ppl, esp my frens, i'm sorry. this is the only way i know for me to cope with my problems, but if it hurts my frens, i'm sorry. i tend to keep problems to myself. i dont like to tell my frens about it. for me, it's an embarassment. not quite true, again, but if i have a certain problem, or when my mind goes way too much complicated, it's better for me to find the solution myself. i am fully aware that everybody's life is not exactly a bed of roses, including my frens', so that's why i 'keberatan' to share my problems with anyone.

had a long talk with my counsellor this morning..sigh..as usual la. hmm..this is the..let me count..the 9th month i've seen this particular counsellor. i can say that she knows me pretty well. had some frenly arguments with her, as usual, cause it's been sometime since this thick head of mine can accept ANY advice. true, it's all true that i cant seem to allow any advice to penetrate my head. nope, my parents seldom, if never, give me any advice. so cant blame me ah for having this thick aka degil head (lame excuse..again). but i think this particular counsellor knows me pretty well. dont think she wants me to worsen. well, i've been thinking hard about her advices, yare yare (and so on, so on in japanese) about the above matter.

dont want to write much. one step at a time (actually need to catch ER kat tv sat lagi! hihi). what i can say is that all of this is a method of defense. i dont like being intruded (and i can easily feel this!..my prob..), so that's why i shut myself out from any contact. and if i am in a not-so-good situation (aka bad mood) i always shut myself in my room to avoid any shouting. hmm..that never actually happen..but need to refer to my housemates about that. oklah, got to go. have a nice day everyone! sayonara