the butterfly effect

6/19/2007 09:26:00 PM 1 Comment »
i wonder what would happen if...

... i choose to remain at sek men (c) tanah putih instead of going to mrsm taiping? it would definitely be different. for sure i wont be getting 8A1 and 1A2 for spm, it's sekolah kampung, with the possibility of anyone getting an A in add maths or any science subject is almost zero. hence no mara scholarship. hence no oversea uni. hence no medic. guess the best place for me now if i choose to stay in that school is being a secondary school teacher, with a science degree from a local uni. and that IS the best thing that could happen to me.. maybe i couldnt even got a place in any local uni...

... i choose to remain at ukm instead of accepting mara scholarship in kmys? it would definitely be different. i for sure, wont be doing medicine, for 2 reasons. one, i dont think i can even get a place to study medicine in ukm for there are lots and lots more people who are much much more brainy that me, two, i dont think i'll put medicine as my first choice of degree because i certainly like other subjects, like maths and physics, much more compared to biology. so where would i be now if i choose to stay in ukm? doing my phD in maths, of course hehe. and that IS the best thing that could happen to me.. maybe i would just become an engineer, working for a firm somewhere in kl, already married and have a son aged 3 and now preparing myself for my second child...

... i choose to go to queen mary's london medical school instead of newcastle? it would definitely be different. i for sure, would be different, socially, and physically haha. i would be much more exposed to the world, compared to now. knowing myself, i know i would prefer to blend in with my surrounding, i'll have different sets of friends, hence different influence in the development of me as a person. i wouldnt say i would be rosak, but more or less so, because if you know what kind of london people are, i think you would understand. pendek cite, it's easier to get hanyut if you're not a strong person, i for sure is not one and i tend to get influenced easily especially it's from some friends. so where would i be now if i choose to stay in london instead of newcastle? i would be a self-centred, ambitious bitch who hungers for attention who is in fact is lost. there you go. i envy those who survived london, cos i dont think i'll survive there..

there you go. have you ever wonder how many 'what if' is there in our lives? like what if my mum choose a different guy to marry, someone who lived just across my grandma's house who is much better looking than my dad but unfortunately has a loud-mouthed mother? would i ever exist? for sure my mum's children would be a much better looking than now :p. or what if my dad stayed at SDAR instead of going to RMC and hence not joining the airforce? then our family wouldnt be moving around every year from one place to another, from one school to another. we would have stayed at one place, i would have been to one primary and one secondary school instead of 7 different schools, i would have some really good friends and one really really best friend, who i would love and risk my life for.

everything would be totally different if we choose a different path. i for once, would never ever dream in a million years to study abroad. never ever. and to study medicine? never ever ever. all that i ever dreamt of as a child is to get married to a fair and humble man who loves me, have not more than 4 children before i reach 32 and be a good mother, just like my mum. i would do the best i can to make a perfect home for my family.

why am i doing this? just to say that most of the time life doesnt make any sense at all. when all you want is simplicity, all you get is complexity, then when the complexity suddenly making sense and becomes simpler, it gets complicated again. it doesnt make any sense. it would never be.

isnt she beautiful?

6/03/2007 06:20:00 PM 0 Comments »




hehe i think she will definitely kill me for putting her pics here hehe. just want to show it to the world how proud i am with you (nah i dont think she's going to buy that hehe)
love you kak lysa, with all my hearts. wish you the greatest happiness.
er, helo, abang jefri. hope to see you soon.
tgk, azali pun ade. not fair huh
oklah, better run now. back to revision.