reflecting..

8/31/2005 08:19:00 PM 0 Comments »
chronic rhinitis. that was what the doc told me this afternoon. he prescribed me with a steroid spray and told me i have to take this regularly from now on, he even printed out a repeat prescription form for me to renew my prescription next time. the last doc told me it was sinusitis. as what ct used to say, if the management is the same, why bother with the diagnosis. true true (you can imagine me nodding 'yup. yup'). so i got another regular drug to take.

i couldnt sleep last night. it was too hot. i was too hot (ie panas doh.. not 'that' hot). it was that once in a month thingy, in the middle of the cycle (i got a hunch that azali is not keen for the word 'ov****ing' here.. kuno nk wat camne. he wont say anything, but he would just leave this :( sign. whatever). i just knew that i have a 32-day cycle. hmm.. good for future family planning HAHA not funny.

i cant fully dorsiflex my right foot. there is a superficial abrasion on the skin surface of my right Archilles tendon and it still hasnt healed. bloody hell. why does my Archilles tendon skin so fragile? senang sgt luka. brp byk plaster guna huh.

today i received something that i've waited for 2 years. it was a long wait huh. there's no use to regret of the past, these days i like to look at the brighter side, and take one step at a time. i learnt a lot for these past 2 years. mostly about life (wooo, deeepp elly, deeep haha). and i cant see the use of me mumbling about it here, but basically i feel like i'm on track again. life is a journey. i hope i have learnt my lesson, and now i'm on track again. full stop.

i discover that depression is contagious. to quote from liza, 'you know depression, elly'. it's not something that i'm proud of, but i do know depression. it's weird when someone asked me about depression and how i managed them. it's not something that is easily discussed, nor that it is comfortable to discuss. to quote from a friend who once told me, 'hanging out with you makes me more depressed', so i think it's true that depression is contagious. that's one of the reason why i dont feel comfortable sharing my thoughts and feeling nowadays. i tend to keep it myself. sometimes i tell my other half, and it makes him depressed as well (tho he denies it). i expect the rock of my life to be strong, but no one is perfect.

anyway, i can say now that i dont have depression. maybe, sometimes, i do feel low, and having a low mood, even a very low one, it is not the same as depression. cos if you do have depression, you will not even talk to me, or to any other people. i knew someone who is eager to be diagnosed as having depression (??). maybe having a medical term named on one's condition and symptoms makes one feels better. and i oppose taking antidepressants. donno why, maybe becos of personal experience. so whenever you feel down/low/depressed, just say to yourself that it is low mood, not depression, and low mood is pretty common, and you'll be fine. try to think of something happy whenever you feel low. like me, i like to think of my future wedding as my happy thought (abis pecah rahsia haha).

sorry i choose not to share my feeling and thoughts. sorry for those who worry of me. sorry for the lies. it wasnt intentional. i just dont want people to worry about me.

hey, today supposed to be a happy day, so cheer up mate!

lawak of the day: i told sayang that if he wants to give anything to me, just give it to kak lysa, my sis, who is going to contact ellina, to kirim some barang for me here. ellina is my housemate who is in mesia at the moment and will return to uk this mid sept. then sayang asked for ellina's hp number in mesia, i asked why, he said, 'saja nak kacau tunang org hehe'. think i better keep my other stunning housemates for myself, thank you very much :p

i still got 4 merdeka days left before i register this monday. i look forward for the future, cant wait !!

weekend

8/28/2005 05:19:00 PM 0 Comments »
weekend has been good so far. didnt do much on friday, just relaxing on my bed mostly. nad arrived later that evening, newcastle has been his kampung since he started working in carlisle last month.

saturday morning was a bored one. me as usual, when bored, suka carik pasal. so i decided to do something that didnt require any thinking, so i cooked. i made karipap and ct made brownies. i like cooking (think i've mentioned this like a thousand times here). when i cook, my mind goes empty. it just chop chop chop, cook cook cook, or bake bake bake. if jadik, ade org abiskan. if tak jadik, hard luck, kene aa buang, but nobody'll know. the thing is, i like to cook in huge amount. and i cant finish it myself. and since what goes into my stomach based solely on my appetite, and this changes everyday, so these sekuali rendang or seperiuk sup will be left wasted at the end of the day. so i put them in some neat tupperware and into the fridge, and the next day my appetite tells me to cook something else, seperiuk lagi, and these will be put into the fridge at the end of the day, and the cycle goes. bazir tul. so i tend not to cook for myself, just make some simple food.

anyway, after our minum petang with karipap, brownies and teh kosong, we went to nando's for dinner. it was nadine's treat as he just got his 1st pay. before that, i borrowed ct's hair thongs. she taught me how to do big curls. SERONOK!! my hair has grown ridicilously long again, and i tie it 24 hours a day (ok ok not while i'm sleeping doh) and i thought it would be nice to have it curled, just at the bottom, and jadik!! i know i have mentioned at least twice that one of my aim in life is to have a straight hair (poyo nyer 'aim in life' haha), yup, it still does, but dono, it looked really nice when ct had her hair curled on malaysian nite last march, so i thought, why not (but really really hope it wont stay curled permanently!). so i curled my hair, big curls, i had a really nice time with ct (girly moments hehe) and was really happy with the end result :)


oh no muka bulat gila... we should have taken the pic b4 we eat our food haha like it's gonna make a different sigh...

then after put some make-ups (a complete one - foundation, touch powder, mascara, blusher, eye-shadows etc haha i only do this like once in 6 months - really cant be bother with make-ups cos have to really really clean my face after that cos i hate pimples), we went to nando's. makan byk seh 1/2 chicken each (shh..oh is it supposed to be a secret, ct? hehe) we went to odeon to catch, supposedly, Bewitched, but someone misread the time screening so we watched The Island instead.

i dont know why this movie received such a bad review, but i honestly think that it is a good movie. well, maybe because i like sci-fi movies, plus i adore ewan mcgregor, but i really enjoyed the movie (maybe becos someone else paid the ticket hehe a big BIG thank you to our sponsor of the night, you know who you are hehe). The Island was a bit slow in the beginning, but later on it was fast paced, action packed. and i like the glimpse of the future, like the anti-graviti vehicles, super cool gadgets. ewan mcgregor looked a bit matured, but he's fit hehe. scarlet johanson is not bad, she got good assets, if you know what i mean hehe. anyway, i think i still want to watch Bewitched cos i like nicole kidman, maybe next week.

i'm home alone now, on a moody sunday afternoon. the rest went to watch a football match somewhere, and i dont watch football (more like, hate it haha) so i choose to stay home instead. took a long bath after they left, then hovered the whole house after that. washed my clothes, then stayed on my bed for the next couple of hours. hehe my ideal sunday. before they left, i made nasi ayam for lunch. masak masak masak la la la. there are some food left, so our dinner is sorted la la la wish i could cook some more la la la what should i cook tomoro la la la it's bank holiday monday la la la everyone is home la la la

one friday morning

8/26/2005 09:30:00 AM 0 Comments »
i'm not feeling very well lately. i think it's my sinusitis. blocked nose, headache, and i think i got a temperature this morning but it turned out that i forgot to switch off the heater. i hate having bilateral blocked nose. complete blocked. my theory is that whenever i'm stressed, my immune system seems to shut down. last time my face 'shreded' and this time it is my sinus. i'm not keen to see the gp, i just dont, but i think i need that steroid spray again, but dont think i want to go out today, so i think i'll wait till monday to see the doc. hopefully i'll be fine by then.

talking about stress, yup, these past few days had been quite a stressed one. just glad it's over now.

talked to mama last night. my parents are going to haji this dec, insyaAllah, and mama mentioned about the wasiat that my dad plan to do before they go to haji. then it hit me, i just realised that i wont be able to see them before they go to haji at the end of this year. my eyes started to water at that time, then my mum said to not to worry, if anything happen, just believe that we'll meet again kat akhirat. i was speechless, and shaken, and sad, and cried for about an hour after that. my mum is my world. no, you dont understand, she IS my world, my soul and my everything. just thinking about what could happen to her can bring tears in my eyes, like, in a split second. my heart is very much attached to her, and if anything happen to her, i dont think i can face the world. simple like that.

i'm not in a mood to write anymore. i just would like to thank sayang for being a marvelous best friend/partner. he is a good man. i can share with him things that i cant with other people, not even to the closest friend. he knows my deepest fear, my sacred-est secrets, my worst weakness, he saw my worst side, yet he is still there. yup, he IS still there, bravely holding my hand in my journey to face the world. Allah bless him for the things that he has done for me. i can see now why my family was astonished, more like shocked, when i told them i got a bf, a serious one, 3 years ago. i took it as an insult, i thought they thought that i wasnt good enough to make a man committed to me. but now i understand. it takes more than a regular, typical man to stand by me. i dont think most of you understand, i am not a simple person, not even close, and for a guy to choose to stay by my side after knowing all the worst side of me, it is a miracle. honestly, it is. no, i dont compare my relationship with others, i dont say he is the best guy in the world, i just say that he is the best guy for me, and i forever grateful :)

jiman

8/19/2005 09:26:00 PM 0 Comments »
today is my 1st bro's birthday. he's 23 today. ridzman, or better known as 'abang man' or maman (uwek uwek) by his fiancee, but we call him jiman or boboy (hahah pecah rahsia abis aa saham nko) at home. yup, you read it right, he already got engaged with a girl and they will get married next june (gile langkah bendul, 2 sekali tuh!!).


jiman with kak lysa at klcc last april when i went back home for easter break.

jiman ni anak emak, but he wont admit it. he just passed his final exam last april and will graduate this december in EE enginering. budak ni kurus sekerempeng. i think his BMI is 18 or less. kecik2 dulu suka nangis. bila besar masuk askar, konon nk jadik macho la tu huh. altho he got 2 elder sisters, but he likes to act like the big bro. whenever he's at home, he'll be the last to stay awake to make sure all the girls (me and kak lysa lah) safely at home, and he'll make sure all the doors are locked. he once waited for me to come back at 2 (azali lah)..wat malu org je.

budak ni pun kemut nk mati. gileeeerrrr kemut (nadine, kemut is kedekut. hehe). gile jimat cermat kalah ceti! you should have seen his bank account..a comfort 5 figures.. tu die lom keje lagi tuh... dont think i ever met anyone more kemut than him huh seriously. sayang giler (giler giler nk mati nyer) ngn tonang die, sampai ambo geli gelemen. once he critisized my relationship with azali, and hell yes, i'll remember sampai mati (how dare you compare my relationship with yours! bleh blah aa). jiman is also iwan's (my youngest bro) worst nightmare. jiman garang giler ngn iwan, and jiman is the only guy in this world who iwan would listen to.

jiman is also mama's fav, altho she denies it. 'jiman anak mama' (uwek). he also has a stiffed relationship with abah, i think becos of him being the 1st son. but jiman always got his beloved mama to back him, like, anytime. mama is very2 particular and fussy with her fav son's choice of girl (not like me -> negro kepala botak pun boleh..just kidding) and jiman had to bring melda (his fiancee) several times to see mama to get her blessing (not like me -> sekali jumpe, 'ok'). overall, jiman is a good son, overly protective bro who gets in everyone's nerve once in a while (who doesnt?). he's way more matured than i am and i wish him the very best in life. i just hope he stops being too jiwang sentimentol but if his fiancee likes it, who am i to ask him to change. happy 23rd birthday, dear bro :)

ps/ kalau nko nk adiah, ko kasik aku nyer dulu! hikhik

a quarter of a century

8/18/2005 11:14:00 PM 1 Comment »
so, today i'm a quarter of a century years old. that's quite a number. it seems that 25 is a much scarier number than 26, 27 or 28 cos 26, 27 or 28 are not a quarter of a century, got it?

anyway, i'm grateful to be here right now, still in one piece, breathing and kicking. tho sometimes it does very much want to separate into 2 parts, when mind and body seem to fail to exist at the same time and space, but i'm grateful nevertheless that today, on my birth-day, i'm indeed in one piece, body and mind.

so i'm 25.

25.

i feel so winkled. not sure why.

this year i received more birthday wishes than any other year. hihi. happy happy happy. was actually very surprised, it seems that i indeed exist. hihi la la la

ct made a choco cheese cake last night. mestilah best, ct yg buat hihi.

30 years

8/17/2005 10:33:00 PM 0 Comments »
happy 30th anniversary to my parents :D

30 years. that's a pretty long time to spend your time with someone. must took them plenty of patience and loyalty, commitment and sacrifice, love and care for the other person. now that's what i call soulmates :)

wish i have their pics to put it here. i do have their pics, but i dont have a scanner, neither do my housemates, so tara leh wat pe2. and i think there is no harm on writing some of their stories here. untuk pedoman di masa hadapan... (nah, i think because i like people stories aka memoirs)

this is a short version of their story. if you want the long one, it'll take 30 years maa, no, even more than that.

an 8-year-old boy was going to his grandma house one day when he saw a girl playing around with her friends. the girl was 6 years old and lived in a house next to the boy's grandma. the boy was so fascinated with the girl (doh..how would i know why?) that he swore there and then that he will marry this girl one day.

7 years passed on. the boy was in form 3 in a boarding school in kl and the girl was in peralihan form in a secondary school in their kampung. distance had never made the boy forgot about his dream girl so he tried to meet (in other words, to 'usha') the girl whenever he came back home during school holidays. the girl never knew the boy, she was just another ordinary kampung girl who had long hair and wore pinafore to school (1960s weh). she had some admirers, so was the boy, but the girl was puzzled for why this one skinny boy kept on bugging her.

to cut the story short, we shall skip the usha part, mkay

6 years passed on. the boy was ready to go to the uk for his degree but he couldnt leave his girl. so they got married in a simple ceremony (gamba pun tade) and the boy went abroad first before the girl followed him 6 months later. the girl was very brave indeed, being a typical kampung girl, she didnt know a single word in english at that time, but she managed to fly 11 000km to be with the boy.

they had their ups and downs but they sticked together thru thick and thin. they moved around a lot, like 30 places in 30 years (seriously), was blessed with 4 children, each had their ups and downs too (shall we not go there, shall we :D hehe), the girl got separated with her daughters for the whole year as the boy needed her on the other side of the world, with all the dishonesty of some (all) of the relatives who kept on taking advantage on them (still do), from a really really old car that refused to start in a middle of nowhere, to their first mcD meal together (everbody eats cheeseburger only huh - the boy).

as a person who knows them for about 20 years and counting (of course they knew me more than that), i see them as a perfect symbiosis. one cannot live without the other. tho the world sees one of them as the stronger or dominant one, but the truth is the other way round. they are strong when they are together, and they cannot function well without the other. so when one of them was sick last year, i can see that the other found it hard to cope. this worries me the most. soon one of them will go and never come back, and i wonder how will the other cope, after being together for 30 years ++. i am worried. but i am glad too. at least, for the time being, they have each other and that's the most important of all. cheerish for what you have now, and worry bout the future later. i also see them as a perfect example of loyalty. no matter how far the other one will go, even to the end of the world if they must, the other one will always be there for them when they come back.

they are not just a couple who married for 30 years, they are best of friends who swore to take care and love each other for eternity. gosh i am emotional tonight. just to say i am very, very grateful and proud to have such an outstanding parents. love you guys to bits :)

Happy Birthday CT :)

8/14/2005 06:37:00 PM 1 Comment »
had a relaxing weekend. nad bought monopoly, and we played the whole day. nadine won all 3 rounds (ape ilmu die pakai agaknye hmm) but he was very good indeed with his (monopoly) money and i think he deserved to win. i baked carrot cake for CT's birthday, i'm not a fan of carrot cake (for god sake, it's a VEGE, how can you eat a vege cake? it's the same like if you eat broccoli cake, or cauliflower cake etc) but ct seems fond with it whenever we go to any coffee shops, she would look for carrot cake (i think), so i think it would be right for me to bake one for her birthday. guess what? me soooo LOVING it!! i never ever thought i would like this VEGE cake, but it tastes soo good!


tgk tu nadine, dia plak yg tak saba2 nk potong kek tho tu kek ct hihi

myself

8/13/2005 10:22:00 AM 2 Comments »
stayed on the bed a bit longer than usual this morning to reflect some of the thoughts that i have in my mind. am not in the best of mood these days, my monthly cycle is a few days late, and i dont like that. i'm not worried, i just want it to come, and go, and get over with it. it's like you receive a regular visit every month, there's nothing you can do with it except to accept it. they come, and go. but this month they come late, and i dont like to be kept waiting. yeah, i like routines.

did some quizes on the net with some housemates last night and it came up with some silly answers. was very surprised when the housemates agreed with some of the answers, like they both agreed that i like to keep things to myself, ie simpan dlm hati. i always, always thought i talk way too much. tho it's true that i only like to talk to certain people, and these certain people include dear housemates, but they thought otherwise. well, i dont like people to ask me questions, cos i hate explaining myself. in newcastle, there are only 3 people that i dont mind talking to, and to only these people that i will tegur if i meet them in town, in school, or wherever else. the rest i'll just choose another route whenever tersimpang with them, and wish that they dont see me. selfish? dono la. the quizes also mentioned that i'm a loner and like to be independent. maybe that's it.

whenever i'm in a bad mood, just leave me. but the guy who lives 11 000km away from me insisted to talk to me. whenever i'm in a bad mood, i'm not nice. evil. i'll say hurtful things. but the guy who lives 11 000km away from me simply said how cute i am when i'm angry. this will make me even angrier. when i really hate someone, i want them to know. i dont want to hurt them, but i want them to know that i hate them. it annoys me most when the people that i hate assume that we are best of friends and as if nothing happens. whenever i'm in a bad mood, just leave me. but when someone insists of talking with me, it annoys me the most when they act as if nothing happen, as if i'm in an ok mood. you want the real thing, there you go. dont go cry cry baby. it's your fault.

last monday was my 1st anniversary of being engaged. now i doubt if there is a wedding. i know i'll regret saying this later, but right now i cant be bothered with anything. now i know that love cant give you everything, it definitely cant improve the sengetness of my head.

right now, i'll rather not eat for the whole day than to talk to people other than the 3 people in newcastle that i mentioned above.

joke (but cite betul) of the day

8/10/2005 11:26:00 PM 0 Comments »
a boy called a girl to tell her the birthday present he bought for her. this mr tell-it-all-and-bendul-but-honest-and-innocent boy was so happy he finally got something for his beloved's birthday soon.

boy: awak, saya dah belikan hadiah besday awak hihi (sound very happy)
girl: huh? (kene bgtau org ke?) ape die?
boy: bende ni comel sgt, ade rabbit
girl: ape die? (hopeful hopeful)
boy: ade byk function die. it's a mousepad, hmm, i think it's a wrist pad (sound very satisfied)
girl:?? err mouse saya dah kong. saya gune touch pad sekrg
boy: ala, boleh gune gak. nnt tgn awak takde la sakit bile gune kompter lame2. nnt buat assignment senang lah (sound very concern)
girl: (assignment aku 3-4 kali setahun je) hmm..ok..(doubtful)
boy: did i mention it also glows in the dark?
girl: bye..
boy: jap saya try (sound very happy) hmm macam tak glow in the dark pun awak
girl:BYE

the girl was speechless, but not surprised. her dad used to give her mum an alarm clock for her birthday. but a mousepad? no, it's a wristpad. but a wrist pad? she would have settled with a lovely card.

but, SERIOUSLY, girls, a glow in the dark wrist pad? where did i find this guy???

wonderful weekend :)

8/08/2005 11:51:00 AM 0 Comments »
was so happy last weekend :) la la la

i had to meet up with someone at the hosp on friday and the rest of the day was spent in the library. went back home to receive a text from yus saying that ct and him were going to carlisle to meet up with nadine. then i spent the next 6 hours in front of the tele before getting ready to bed at about 12. i carried out my usual habit before getting to sleep ie read story books but then it got carried away until 2 so i thought i might as well wait for ct, yus and nadine to arrive home. when they arrived, nadine said "jom pie tesco", me was like "huh?...serious?..hmm..ok". so all 4 of us went to tesco to do some food shopping until half 4 in the morning. me soo like it! felt like the whole big tesco extra store was ours! way less people in such a huge store! however thing that i like most was the company. i havent shopped with anyone for a long time, and having them with me was such a bless :)

ellina arrived the next day. we had our usual talks and gossips. best best. oh yeah, before that i cooked nasi lemak for the whole house. me so like cooking!! sonok sonok masak. not sure where i got this thing cos my mum and my sis hardly cook, but me on the other hand, am lurvveee to cook especially for a group of people. guess i got that from my dad's side hihihi. oh yeah, i also received an early birthday present from nadine! he gave sekor anak lembu named Maude. cute giler. thanks nad. me happy and happy and happy :D. then in the afternoon we went to metro centre and i got an MNG jacket with 70% discount! lawa gile woo, i used to drool over it last time i went to MNG glasgow. (sory ellina but i had to mention this hik hik) the thing is that ellina got the exact same jacket, but different colour, that she bought a few months earlier in its full price. hik hik sory yek ellina rezeki aku, but super thanks to you, you were the one who found them in MNG metro centre and you were so nice to show it to me and that's why i like you the best :)

woke up early on sunday morning for our planned trip to the coast. i was finally brave enough to ask them if we could have a picnic by the beach this weekend since we got a rented car (well, nadine's rented car hihi). quite sad nadine couldnt join us as he had to fulfill a promise with some friends. so, ct, yus, ellina and i went to north shields first to get the famous fish and chips there. the plan was to get some fish and chips, then eat it at whitley bay (a long beach which runs from monseaton-whitley bay-tynemouth-cullercoats-north shields), before going to tynemouth's sunday market. punyelah awal we all arrived at north shields, about 10am, kedai pun lom bukak. masing2 dah lapar. so we ronda2 along the coast, from north shields to whitley bay to tynemouth to monkseaton, to wait for the fish and chips stall to open at 11.30. but as soon as we grabbed our warm and smell-so-nice fish and chips, the clouds began to appear. and then the rain. sigh, we had to enjoy our fish and chips inside the car. thanks to yus for placing the car to face to beach, so we can enjoy our food while enjoying the view, tho inside the car, but dont think anyone would enjoy the view as everyone was so hungry so we simply eat our food hehe.

then we went to the tynemouth market. they sell lots of stuff there including some antics, old books, second-hand stuff, food etc. me and ellina bought ct a pretty wedgewood's jewellery case, egg-shape, about the size of one's palm, for her birthday. ct's birthday is on 14 of august. she seemed fond with it when we all belek2 the stuff there, so me and ellina thought it would be right to buy it for her birthday.


very windy and cold huh. sori takde gamba yus and nad

after the market, ct wanted to taste some 'venetian' handmade ice-creams from one of the stalls at monkseaton so we went there. at that time, it was a bit sunny and windy, so as soon as we got hold of our ice-creams, it melts! abis menjeje2, but it was a good fun. we ate it at the beach, well, sort of, since it suddenly turned cloudy and windy again, so we just finished our ice-creams a.s.a.p and took some pics a.s.a.p before heading back home a.s.a.p since yus wanted to catch a football match at 2. ellina leaved newcastle at half 4 for glasgow and nadine for carlisle at half 8. overall, i really really enjoyed my weekend, it was full of fun and laughter (and i got a besday present and a 70% off MNG lawa gile nk mati jacket). but the company that i had for the weekend was the bestest part :)

a walk in whitley bay

8/03/2005 08:21:00 PM 0 Comments »

bersantai di pantai yang indah la la la

today's weather is so fine, a little bit of sun and some wind, so i decided to go to the beach after work, it's just a mere 100m away from where i work. i went there yesterday too actually, but today i brought my camera with me, it's fun to act like a tourist once in a while hehe. i miss having a picnic, not sure who wants to join me, am too embarass to ask, so i thought what the hell, i might just go and have a picnic myself haha! along with my camera, i bought yesterday's leftover's pasta goreng, some sweets and chocos and some drinks. plus an obs & gynae book hehe dont ask me why. so i just sat there on the warm and as-soft-as-velvet sand, with today's metro underneath my bum, got enough food and drink and i feel bless. ahhh bless..

nothing much happen nowadays. i go to work twice a week and tomoro i'll be having an interview to get my national insurance number. i'm not sure what they'll ask, it's just something that my boss wants me to get, but since in their letter saying that the interview will last 1 hour minimum, gosh, what will they ask? i thought they just want to see my passport, uni letter, work offer letter. hmm..yus said not to worry about it and advised me to dress casual. fine..

my mood isnt in its best either. things got quite complicated lately and as a result, i somehow lost (again) the will to live. i also become super duper sensitive with the people around me. at the same time i'm very very pissed with myself for being soo thick and soo weak. thick and weak. thick and weak. thick and weak. thick. weak. when i hate someone, i just avoid them. but when you hate yourself so very much, there's nothing much you can do with it. i used to starve myself as a punishment cos, er, i hate myself so very much but i cant do that now for various reason. and this time i found it hard to share it with someone. somehow this time it felt more personal and private. the only person that i want to share it with is 11 000km away from me :( i want him here NOW

jenni & kimi

8/01/2005 04:30:00 PM 1 Comment »

alang2 punah harapanku, biar ku punah kan segala harapan pengharap2 (straight, gay and bisexual) semua sekali muahaha gile evil. hensem nyer nko kimi...drooling ling ling ling ... awat hang kawen mude sesgt...

seb baik bini lawo wow. miss scandinavian 2000 tuh. they've been together since 2002 and got hitched on Aug 2004. bet his wife taller than him hik hik hik