=D

5/30/2006 04:17:00 PM 1 Comment »
am listening to search's fantasia bulan madu. such an old, old song. guess i got it from oja's or ellina's computer. i also have a list of malay oldies songs, like from alley cats, p ramlee and sudirman. my younger brother has the cd and so i put it into my laptop. love those old songs :D

am now listening to leann rimes' cant fight the moodlight. one of my other all time fav song. enough with songs already okey..

havent blogged for some time. same old reason. felt like my privacy got invaded, but am not blaming anyone. today i decided to blog out of boredom haha.

finished my final option last friday. meaning i finished my 4th year. and why am i still here, lingering around newcastle, instead of going to sweet, sweet home? i got to wait for the final overall result to come out next week. it is not that i have to, but i want to. 4th year you see, do not have exams, only assessments, like the audit/research thingy, poster, oral presentations and in-course assessments. i did all that, and so far so good, but one cannot be too sure, especially for someone who is kinda anxious that she tends to arrive at the airport 5 hours earlier than the intended flight, if you got what i mean haha. i just know i have to wait for the proper result to come out. in case anything happen kan. like they missed place my poster that it didnt reach the examiners, or that my e-portfolio got infected with some virus. hope not! well, i got about a week b4 the overall result to come out, and i can do some quality time with myself, plus can also earn some extra money by working extra-time on my part-time job. plus i'm going to leave my room for 3 months, so lots and lots of tidying up to do. i like to come back, after spending such a marvelous time at home (and i know i will), to a clean, untouched, freshly laundred bed sheet, with clean and vacuumed floor oh you know what i mean...

i think i need this time, for myself to relax, and to breath. the weeks ahead will be kinda full and bz. my flight is next weekend and i'm doing my elective straight after that, on that monday. then the next weekend i'll be going to singapore with mama, kak lysa and iwan. a week after than, i'm off to a weekend trip with azali. then a week after that, i'm going to usm kubang kerian for my second electives placement for the whole july. then august will be busy preparing for my bro's wedding, and b4 i know it, i'll be on the flight back to newcastle at the end of august, then off to carlisle on 1st of sept for 3 months for my final year. fuh, i so deserve this break!

as you might have guessed, i'm fully packed and ready to go haha. hmm actually i've packed, unpacked, then packed again, then unpacked, and finally packed again haha. and i think i'm going to have another round, or two, b4 going home next week. well, that's just me :p

nadine had safely delivered my orange zen micro to me. thanks nad! thanks mama! this cute lil thing is very beautiful indeed. sayang betul.. sampai bwk tido heheh. my old mp3 player is only 256kb, yup, only that, so i dont have that many songs in my laptop. i have to get more songs for this 5mb lil beauty. guess i have to kacau ellina's computer again ;)

and mama had bought me another present =) a square swatch gagagagaga cant wait to go home!

good news, bad news, worrying news, or is it all in my head?

5/11/2006 09:36:00 PM 1 Comment »
these past few days had been a lil bit of a roller coster. i mean in term of good news and bad news...

just submitted my resignation letter. haha tiru from internet haha! not that i dont have time to make it myself, but why do i want to susahkan diri sendiri and spend half an hour to make such a letter when you can get hundreds of samples on the internet? hihi. but i did choose wisely. i mean the words that i choose to copy. like i've always said, i like and enjoy my work and will definitely miss them lot. including the money lol. anyway, the news spread quite fast after i gave in the letter to the practice manager. even the docs (you see, i'm just a plain clerk who comes once a week) came to see and tell me how they are going to miss me. they asked me to find a replacement, and i'm not sure how. and they made me promise to find someone who is as good as me. hihihihi buleh nampak ini muka sengih sampai telinga

so, this time next month i'll be at home! la la la. i still feel as excited as like going home for the 1st time. i like arriving at the klia and see those very familiar faces. well now i first like to see just one smiley monkey face hihi. anyway, my point is that in about 4 weeks time, i'll be home!

another good news from home! iwan got a petronas scholarship to study at utp! and he got to do the course that he wants. which is good, and important. i'm so bloody happy for him. everyone is happy for him. feel like i want to fly home at this instance and hug him and say 'busyuk!!' (well, he's bongsu, mind you). i bet mama and abah couldnt be prouder. since he's bongsu, everyone is kinda worried that he may be spoilt and malas belajar. and he turns out ok. i think part of it has to do with him having such a garang and focused big brother, jiman. well, guess i have to start saving more to buy more presents!

and one last bad news. i had a session with the chinese acupuncturist and herbalist who is also a qualified doctor this afternoon. she checked me up as a demonstration and only took my pulse, looked at my tongue and pressed a few points on my ears and said something worrying about my health. if it was a spiritual healer or naturapathic healer or shiatsu practitioner who said that (mind you, i'm doing a full course of complementary and alternative medicine right now) then i would say, 'yeah, yeah, fine, whatever'. but like shanti said (another medical student as well as my housemate) chinese medicine and ayurveda are the 2 things in complementary medicine that are worth believing, with respect. now i'm kinda worried. she even advised me to consult my gp to get further testing. ok, if this women is a fraud and wants money, why would she advised me to see my own gp? and the lists of things that she said, it was true, in some way. and i do suffer the symptoms terribly. damn it. i'm worried. or am i just being a useless worrier?

me and my head

5/07/2006 03:40:00 PM 0 Comments »
it's been a while since i last wrote here. it's not that i have no time, it's just that i dont feel like writing on this blog. this blog has somehow.. lost its purpose. i dunno..i dont feel free anymore to write here. felt like someone, somewhere out there watches me everytime. yeah..what do you expect, it's a damn blog, ie web log, where it's accessible to all those who have internet connections. if i want to have a private log, then i should have written in a microsoft word and just save it in the computer. or i can just create a new blog and be totally anonymous. that's what i feel now; i dont feel anonymous anymore. feel like there are phantom readers out there who read my blog everyday, except that they are not phantom, but someone who i know and definitely knows me. well.. what do i expect, it's a blog anyway, where anyone, anywhere can read it. now the idea of having a new blog, totally anonymous blog seems very tempting..

anyway, you are a bit lucky today, dear blog, as i have a slightish mood to write here. maybe it's because there is nothing on the tele. tried to do a lil bit of work, but with only 3 more weeks to go, plus no assessment whatsoever, with one of the easiest (and relaxing!) option so far, honestly, i have no work to do. seriously. i'm doing complementary and alternative medicine now, all i have to do is to attend every session arranged and fill the e-portfolio and have it signed at the end of the option. the sessions consist of all sorts of relaxing therapies, like yoga, reflexology, herbal medicine, hypnotherapy, aromatherapy, acupucture etc, where all i have to do is to be there and listen. it's very relaxing haha. i deliberately choose this option because it's the last one before i'm off to do my electives. since my first 2 options were quite full and busy, i thought i deserved one last relaxing, not-so-busy option. and i got exactly that :D

so it's 3 more weeks to go. then 2 more weeks of totally, utterly free time before i'm going home. home sweet home la la la. everything is sorted. almost. i've bought the tickets and everything. there's still a few more things to do, like writing my resignation letter, preparing the mara letter, and waiting for the acceptance letter from usm for my electives. i'm going to spend the whole july in kubang kerian for my electives. honestly, i cant wait, it's one of my dream to experience being like a student in a local uni. i bet it's gonna be totally different. i bet local uni students are more hardworking and more skema. well, they dont have to worry about homesick and food, for instance. food are definitely cheaper there, with no worries about the content of all canned food. money is not that huge problems back home, eating out only costs you less than a fiver, where else here it's impossible to eat out even once a week. anyway, i'm still waiting for the acceptance letter from usm. hopefully everything goes as planned.

some other not-so-important stuff that happened in this past few weeks or so:

cant wait for nadine to come back from malaysia. he's gonna bring me my zen. my sis gave it to him today and nadine's coming over to newcastle in 2 weeks time. 2. more. weeks. to. go. cant. wait!!

miss azali ever-so-terribly (no surprise there!). i know we're longed to spend some good quality time together, just the two of us, away from everyone else, so i booked a trip for us. it's somewhere not so close, not so near, and i hope we do get to spend some good time together and just relax ourselves. you might thought 5-6 years are enough to know someone, when in fact we are still learning to get to know and accept each other. or maybe it's just me, for being such a complicated and difficult person to get along with!! haha. well, i cant wait for the trip. it's my first time organising a trip, i'm gonna plan like i never plan before hehe as long as it doesnt make my anxiety worse haha

i've just told mu'azzah that i couldnt come to her wedding this june. she seems kinda sad. sori mu', i really do. when i saw those wedding pictures of some old school friends, with lots and lots of familiar ex-schoolmate guests, i know i couldnt come. i couldnt imagine coming to see and meet those familiar faces. i just couldnt. i couldnt face being judged. altho i've always said that i dont damn care about what other people talk about me, when actually in fact i do care. and i can imagine hearing they say, oh dah tak pakai tudung skrg, or, oh dah lawa skrg ye, or, make-up tebal nampak, or, bergaya siut! i dunno. i have left my past, i totally buried them away, and meeting these people of my past seems very very scary. the people that i'm still in contact now are those i choose to remain in contact with, and these people are not a lot. so, sori again mu', i really do. i know it's kind of a selfish excuse, and i didnt expect you to understand.

exactly 1 month to go! as you can imagine, i have this countdown thing in my head, like, every 5 seconds. as you might have guessed, i already packed and ready to go! haha. i really wish azali could pick me up at klia, he seems reluctant to do so, and i cant figure out his true reason. it's his face that i want to see first, than anyone else in these whole wide world! enough enough we got your point, you miss your fiance so much bla bla bla :p

whatelse whatelse. i'll write later when i got more ideas. i'm gonna make my dinner now. wish i could just buy my dinner in some mamak stall huh