if i was a Japanese

8/29/2004 06:49:00 PM 0 Comments »
Just for fun. i went to a friend's friend's friend's blog (tada keleja lain) and found this. i dedicate this to all anime fans out there

here's my name if I was born as a Japanese:

My Japanese name is Ayano Hamada.
Take The Kawaii Japanese Name Generator by Shuichigami today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

hold on

8/28/2004 10:13:00 AM 1 Comment »
i woke up at 6am this morning and couldnt sleep. guess the jetleg is still there. so i went browsing the internet and read some other ppl's blogs instead. i read this one blog, a friend of mine, who had broken up with her bf only a few months ago. the guy gave lame excuses to break up with her and that was quite surprising since i knew that guy more than i knew the girl. the guy i used to know was a very (actually, the most) gentleman person i have ever met. soft-spoken and polite, he respects and treasures his friends more than anything. and the girl, tho i didnt knew her very well, is a good person, no doubt. their separation surprises me till today. not just me, but my friends as well who knew both parties. in my opinion, they really suit and compliment each other, and have been commited to each other strongly for these past few years.

her blog wrote how sad, devastated, heartbroken, you name it, she was for the break up. it was a long and painful blog. it happened quite sudden and a week after the break up, the guy already had another girl. worst ever senario you can have in a break up.

i feel sad reading that girl's blog. she's only a girl, but has to carry such a heavy emotional burden. i would have broken down to small tiny winy pieces if i was her. at first she blamed herself. then with time, she slowly gain strength and confidence to face the world again. life goes on. and i remember her last blog wrote, ' and i missed being in love again'. hold on there girl, hold on..


8/27/2004 09:39:00 PM 0 Comments »
aku mmg suke buat survey2 ni esp bile tada keje lain nk wat. got these from elina so here goes..

What makes you happy? retail therapy. always works for me. always ha ha

Would you change yourself to make someone else happy? if it concerns changing my bad behaviour/habit, why not. it will make me happy too if i change to be a better person

Do long distance relationships work? i really really hope it works. so far so good, in my case

How many people do you know that share yourbirthday? cant think of anyone

Is there anyone that you would risk your life for? my family, of course

What animal would you not want to be turned into? pig aka babi, dah la haram, pastu dah ade human pigs here in newcastle, bukan sekor but 3 EKOR, so why want to increase their population?

Favorite symbol on the keyboard? dono, not a fan of symbol-on-the-keyboard anyway

Do you spend a lot of time on the computer? sometimes

Do you realize that most things are temporary? i do realize, but sometimes i forgot and need to register that topic again in my thick skull

How long has it been since you went to the mall? yesterday, with elina

Do you like to write poetry? nope, dont have a single talent in literature

Do you like to read poetry? yes, i do, i'm a bit surprised myself actually

What is your favorite color of ink to write in? dark blue

Would you rather write in pen or pencil? pen

How tall are you? 156cm

What is your favorite breed of dog? hotdog, cos i can eat them! hehe tak jwb soalan

Who is your favorite person to talk to offline? my mum and azali

Do you like rain? dont think so, it makes everything wet, dump and moody

Do you think lightning is awesome? dont think so

Do you have glow-in-the-dark stars? nope

1. Shampoo - loreal's sebocontrol
2. Bags - hem..mng, nine west, deuter, nike etc
3. Shirt - mng, h&m, padini, laura ashley and lots of unbranded ones
4. Sweaters - hem..almost the same as above, i guess
5. Shoes - skeachers (my fav), elle, nine west, adidas etc
6. Socks - got >30 pairs of socks..any colourful ankle socks will do
7. Toothpaste - colgate gel
8. Face cleanser - lancome's blanc expert
9. Computer - dell
10. Wallet - jean-louis scherrer
11. Cell - old nokia 8210
12. Watch - swatch, dkny
13. Pillow Case/Bed sheet - wilko's + ikea
14. Furnitures - dono..ask our landlord
15. Cups - haha i got the biggest cup/mug in the house!! it's pier's
16. Magazines - heat
17. Dream Cars/ Car - beetle! recently i like gen2
18. Chocolate - any chocolate will do! a big choco fan :)
19. Candy- chocolate candy, perhaps?
20. Medicine - i forgot its name, but it's for my anxiety
21. Chips - twisties! tapi tada kat uk huh
22. Popcorn - gsc's popcorn is da best!
23. Motorcyle - superbike yamaha 1000cc
24. camera - dont have any huhu
25. perfume - ck's truth, davidoff's cool water
26. Ciggie - hate it!!

here in newcastle...

8/27/2004 07:06:00 AM 0 Comments »
here i am in newcastle. it took me a 12-hour flight, 8-hour road journey and 5 and a half month to be here again. it was a painful and dreading experience to leave malaysia. leaving my mum and iwan in kuantan, my sis in kl and the worst was leaving azali in klia. he looked so sad and dissappointed. i cried my whole heart out throughout the journey.

here i am in newcastle, with it's 'routine' condition. same old grey sky with same old cold wind, and the people are all the same; blond hair with hard-to-understand geordie accent. luckily the summer sale is still on for some shops. and the salesperson in most shops are quite friendly. and the elderly is friendly too. and there are some really good friends in newcastle.

it turned out newcastle wasnt that bad at all. i just have to find those nice little things to keep me going everyday.

my new blog is simpler. no need to put any personal data. and the dots are quite...er..funny hihi.

8/23/2004 02:16:00 PM 2 Comments »
happy belated birthday to me...

besok kene balik uk balik dah. sedih? tak la sgt, cume berat hati. everything i own, everyone i love, semue kat malaysia. these past few months were more than great. got closer than ever with my family esp my mum, got engaged with azali, bought lots and lots of good stuff, went to phukett, dan lagi dan lagi dan lagi. wish i had written all of these stuff here in my blog so that i can remember/recall back those memories. tapi takpe aa, yg lepas biar lepas.

this issue again..getting engaged was harder than i initially thought it would be. tu la..i've to admit my akal is not that long. i innocently thought it involved getting a new ring and some new presents like handbag la, kain2 la. then ade majlis kecik2, then makan2. and meet some new people who will eventually, i hope, be my family too. manalah tau kene bonding betul2. kene aa plak telepon every now and then family tu. kene pie kelantan lagi pun, fuh nasib baik dah nk balik uk huh. me, usual me, is not that frenly/peramah/ckp lemah lembut/care about other ppl/you name it. i want azali, tapi tak pk kene amik the whole package. sound selfish kan.

smlm bwk azali pie balik kg kat kuala selangor. showed him my nenek's house, my auntie's house, and my k.selangor's apartment. rase berat sgt nk bwk die. kalau tak sbb kene pulangkan dulang2 nenek aku tu, toksah harap aku nk bwk die. no point huh. azali org first dtg situ. he's the 2nd person who i brought home, the 1st was rozian, my close fren kat taiping who had to come and stay kat ampang for our form5 project. sape lagi yg pernah aku bwk balik? my famili mmg la cam tu. tak bwk guests balik umah. even my family pun tak kenal sape2 pun my frens. ari tu mase tunang baru la kenal who is liza, wirda. kalau la aku balik uk next week, mesti la kene pie machang jumpe family+ relatives azali. cuak. maha cuak.

malam ni malam last kat malaysia. azali extra extra baik. wonder why hehehe. kuar makan lepas die balik keje kul 6. die ajak pie proper kedai makan for a proper dinner, tappe la, makan kat food court pun dah best! die kate leh minta ape2 pe, since my besday die taktau nk beli ape. hahahahaha cuba teka aku mintak ape?? a pair of NINE WEST shoes!! hihihih sengih tak abis2 dari tadi. punyela dari dulu teringin sgt2 kasut tu..sabar tu byk kelebihannye hehe..right timing tu...pastu die beli bunga lagi...hehe malam ni tido tersengih2 la...hihihi

esok azali anta pie airport. sebenarnye ramai nk anta aku pie airport ni. not my family, but azali's famili. tu la...isk..lain benor famili aku ngn famili die. famili aku selamba je, malas nk anta, buat ape la kan nk anta kat airport. aku tu segan. the lesser ppl, the better. last2 azali ckp baik2 ngn famili die, kate aku ni segan aa ramai2 org anta. lagipun nk spend last2 time ngn azali sorang. (sebenornye if la kan ade yg banjir, only both of us yg tau) hihi.

good night malaysia


8/16/2004 04:25:00 PM 0 Comments »
ayo..time flies so fast huh. next week dah kene balik newcastle. sigh, but not complaining. i've spent enuff time in malaysia.

duk kat kuantan ade pros and cons nyer. tempatnye safe, compared to kl huh. kedai dekat. tak byk kete. brg murah. tapi 16 km from town. kene tunggu my dad abis keje baru leh pie town..haha padan muka tada lesen keta. bosan tu bosan gak. tapi tak complain la. kat umah ade astro, ade buku mcm2, ade makanan byk hehe, ade mama, so orait la.

duk kl. in the middle of town, poning. keta, bus bleh dgr sampai kul 2-3 pg. mmg umah ampang tu tepi jalan betul2. satu neighbour pun tak kenal. brg mahal. tapi yg bestnye dekat ngn klcc. ampang point. kak lysa ade kat kl, die ade keta and bleh anta pie mane2 anytime anywhere janji bayar duit minyak die. honestly, i'm a town girl. cannot live tanpa shopping complex. wajib retail therapy. but i hate kl. people are hypocrite, tho not all la as usual. dulu pernah sekolah kat ampang, tak best. ppl berlagak, pilih bulu, hypocrite. as usual, not all la. tu la sbb i hate that ampang house. many bad memories kat situ. tak de satu pun kwn ampang yg dulu yg kekal.

then there is the 3rd house. kat kuala selangor, a very very peace place. it's my mum's fav place sbb apartment tu mama yg pilih decorationnye. view pandang bukit melawati. last month me and mama stayed kat situ for a week, selepas bosan ngn umah ampang and kuantan and abah plak pie uk seminggu. a very very peace place. kedai semue tutup kul 7ptg. malam senyap je. ada sket seram woo duk kawasan tu, yela..kawasan bukit melawati kan. haha kene tido ngn mama hehe. peaceful, but as i said b4, lepas 2,3 hari, i need to go somewhere to window shopping ka, tgk2 baju2, tapi semue kedai kat k.selangor tu semuenye kecik2.

semoga segala kenangan diabadikan

honestly, the only thing that i look forward to return back to newcastle is meeting ellina. full stop.

i hate my life


8/13/2004 10:58:00 AM 0 Comments »

so..i'm officially someone's fiancee. hm..nothing much, got a nice new ring on my left wedding finger, met some old ppl who happen to be someone's parents, got to wear pink from head to toe, got to wear a full make-up for the first time in my life, besides that, nothing much. oh i forgot, that 'someone' happens to be a monkey. he he he

oklah, the ceremony went very well, like liza said, simple and sweet. more guests than i expected. you know i dont like crowds. but ape nk buat, i got a huge pack of relatives, includes aunties, uncles, cousins bla bla. i prefer my friends than them ha ha how cruel! thank god i got my 3 best buddies there! wirda, liza and mus, thanks for coming. miss laila though, we would have our old 'Underground' association if she was there. nadine kate nk mai, but he cancelled last minute. said his auntie is sick. my mum asyik tanye bile nadine nk sampai. takpe la kan. azali's parents and family are nice. his mum hugged me ayoyo. and one more thing, i truly forgot pesan ellina. 'must control ayu, mata tak leh buka more than 45 degree'. ha ha, sorry, lupe langsung! tersengih2, tak abis2, malu malu ish. selalu bikin malu saje isk typical me

i never thought being engaged to someone hold such responsibility. all i want is to make everybody happy. me and azali have been commited to each other for 2 years now. i couldnt ask for more. but being engaged to him, that's something else. a few days after the engagement, my mum advised me, or to be precised, 'warned' me, to be commited to this relationship or else i have to face not just my family, but azali's family too. doh? ayo. never thought it could be this bad. although i dont have a single intention to, like, break up with azali, but the sound of that 'warning' of such commitment, it's scary. although i'm truly blessed and satisfied for having azali as my fiancee, and i'm truly happy for this engagement is based on love and trust, but that kind of commitment..it's scary. now, our relationship is not only between two people, it involves the whole 2 families. big families. lots of people. hm..am i scared of commitment? no no, i think i'm scared of responsibility. the responsibility to try and make this relationship works. oh i hate responsibility. or maybe i think too much

oh internet..

8/04/2004 06:30:00 AM 0 Comments »
finally finally! dpt gak online. setelah sekian lame. think about a month kot tak bukak email argh. so many things to update..

laptopku sudah baik. hopefully hopefully. walaupun modem die macam biskut chipsmore, sat ade sat takde, tapi since azali dah figure out camne nak wat modem tu available, so tak complain lagi. my beloved laptop, ku doakan ko sihat2 belaka, toksah demam lagi key.

ha ha. one thing yg aku tak sabar sgt nk update..erm..bukannye nak update, tapi tuk aku catatkan. i dont have a diary, blog ni macam diary aku aa, kdg2 aku akan bukak balik blog2 aku yg dulu2, baca2 balik, so leh recall balik events yg sudah2.

7/7. keluarga azali risik! cuak gile.. tapi if compare ngn exam osce, risik ni kire okla. first time jumpe mak azali. ha ha..azali suh aku pakai tudung. ha ha. the only person on this world yg leh wat aku pakai tudung+baju kurung. rasenye semuenye ok. tetap tarikh tunang 8/8. ingatkan ok, but later that day baru teringat yg ibrahim kawin ari tu. alamak...aku mmg nk pie ibrahim kawin, dah janji ngn 503 yg lain nk wat gathering mase majlis tu. ayo...awal2 lagi mak aku kate mane sempat nak pie..isk isk. takleh nk wat pe2 dah.

the preparation? the right word..exhausted. plan nk wat kecik2 je, you know i hate crowds, esp crowds yg melibatkan sedara2 sebelah ayah aku. tapi nak wat camne. umah ampang kecik nk mampus. mmg la sepatutnye wat kat kuantan, sbb aku mmg tinggal kat kuantan, tapi mak azali mintak wat kat kl. tapi overall aku happy ngn preparation yg tgh dibuat. aku mmg minat buat bende2 kraf, so psl brg2 hantaran, aku yg settle. bleh tahan susah gak, sbb aku bukannye creative sgt, lagipun ni 1st majlis tunang dlm famili aku (haha aku langkah bendul kakak aku). so from dulang, lapik dulang sampailah ke pinggan mangkuk etc, mmg la takde. lagipun brg2 famili aku semuenye terbahagi 3. kat kuantan, ampang and kuala selangor (3 diff houses). ayo brg sepah2. pendek citer, skrg semue dah setel, hopefully ahad ni everything goes well.

satu bende aku nak tulis. pie beli cincin ngn azali. aku tak nak la yg mahal2 sgt, aku ni reasonable orgnye (hihi), azali pun baru stat keje, so aku tak minta yg pelik2. cute and simple, janji azali pilih and berkenan same. bile dah beli, aku pun hapy la. pie sengih sekor2 kat dapur. pastu semalm azali bgtau, die tak plan nk bgtau bende ni sbb nk kasi surprise, tapi i know him, mane leh simpan any secret from me hihi, die bagitau die pie tukar cincin yg lain, same design and cutting, cume gune bigger diamond. punyela tak percaya. die bukannye jenis org yg bikin surprise2. nk beli ape2 pun mesti consult/bagitau aku nye. hehe senyum sampai telinga hehe. happy happy.

skrg kat ampang, ade lagi a few days b4 majlis tu. tgh kemas umah. azali jenguk b4 and after die pie keje. basically tuk kasi aku makanan hihi. nice guy hehe (sengih lagi eee)

ohye, aku tgh gile pink skrg. baby pink. ntahla, dont ask why. suka gile pink. so baju tunang tu pink. + tudung pink. ayo tak larat... mesti sedara aku pelik, aku dah 3 tahun tak pakai tudung, tetibe majlis ni aku pakai tudung. like i care what they think. like my life depend on what they're saying. janji famili aku ok, famili azali pun ok, cukup aa. aku plan nk wat everything pink (ayo...i know mmg 'tak larat'..too girlish uwek...but cant help myself la...gile babi tgh suke baby pink..huhu) termasuk la lapik dulang + bunga + everthing in pink, pastu mak+sis aku kate 'warna pink takde kelas..warna cam keling'. sedih aku dgr. impian aku selama ni berkecai. huhu takpe aa..it's their majlis gak huhu. last2 depa nak kaler..gold. gold..so not like me. takpe aa..i cant be selfish. majlis diaorg gak

since aku langkah bendul, if ikut adat kelantan, kakak aku dpt satu cincin + sepasang baju. jeles jeles. kenapa die kene dpt gak huh? takpe aa, nasib baik kakak aku tu baik ngn aku, die mmg kakak yg baik, so aku pun tara kisah..kene redha la

guess that'a all. flight balik uk:24/8. ayo..cepatnye masa berlalu..tak miss newcastle a bit pun..