past happy memories

4/28/2009 02:08:00 PM 0 Comments »

except for those who were there for my akad, i dont think i have shown these pictures to anyone.
the reason was that i didnt like the make-up they put me on for the akad. it wasnt a nice one, almost everyone told me (those who had guts to tell me so la haha) that my make-up for the akad was a bit 'garang'. luckily the make-up artist put on a different one for my sanding, it was so nice that it compensated the akad one. and very luckily too the photographers managed to 'soften' the make-up a bit.
anyway, i find remembering and appreciating past happy times help a lot when the present is so bleak and depressing. and yeah, forget of the present, tomoro i'm gonna drive 480km to kl to see hubby! bring it on!

bad day

4/21/2009 01:46:00 PM 1 Comment »

had a super bad day :(

decided to get some food comfort. ate half a chicken and a snicker. appetite wise, it was fulfilling, but stomach wise, it wasnt filling (it was a small chicken i tell you). i guess my stomach needs some carbohydrate after all, but it has to wait til tomoro i'm afraid. had a piriton earlier and am ready to go to bed early tonight.

the piriton is for the allergic reaction i had after taking an antibiotic (amoxicillin) for a upper chest infection. developed rash and mild swelling on my hands after taking the meds. but the question is: why now? i've taken that antibiotic before with no reaction whatsoever. then suddenly my head realised that one plus one is two (haha it's a matter of speech). i remember last month that i had an allergic reaction to my face after having a routine facial. then my head starts to tick, tick, tick haha. i then had a suspect of the culprit but was unsure. an answer from a o & g specialist confirmed my guess. it was my ocp ie oral combined contraceptive pill that i take daily. it causes individuals like me who has a strong history of atopy (eczema, rhinitis, asthma) to develop hypersensitivity. now i know huh. the doc then advised me to change my ocp to progesterone only pill (pop) but i'm still undecided. ocp really suits me (regular menses, almost no side-effect, and most importantly, makes my skin smooth and almost blemish free haha).

anyway, too malas to think about it. so here i am, baru kene bambu by the lecturers the whole day, with body itchy here and there, with more and more sad news from home..

my parents are separating.

i think i need another dose of that medication that helps me sleep.

and another bar of snickers.

and obviously i need my hubby.



4/18/2009 03:45:00 AM 0 Comments »

gosh i had such a nightmare last night


it involved me going back to the blightly or some overseas country again to live there by myself. i cried non-stop in that dream when i realised i was already there. what the hell nyer mimpi..

really hope it wont happen. and i know it's unlikely, i'm almost 29 now, married and no one can force me what to do. and i know hubby wont let anything bad happening to me huh. i dont think i can live if it was indeed happen. selisih malaikat 44 shiver shiver

... it's just a dream elly... you're in malaysia now you see...

right. time to get myself together now..

anyway, had a packed weekend. sape la suruh pilih weekend night shift, 2 weekend on a row pulak tu. really kacau my sleep schedule betul. hence the pelik2 nyer mimpi huh. what to do, kene la bersusah2 dahulu, bersenang2 kemudian kan. after next weekend, i'll have no oncall until the week after that, so i plan to go to kl to spend some time with hubby. or should we meet somewhere in the middle and stay a night or two and have a totally relaxing weekend together? hmm i like that :)

huh i miss hubby terribly

random talk and a short story..

4/13/2009 10:03:00 AM 2 Comments »

who would have thought that aqueous cream is not avaiblale here in malaysia? i had gone near and far to get those cream, all with no success. i'm still suffering from eczema unfortunately, although epidemiologically it is mainly a disease of childhood, and 50% will resolve by 12 years of age, and 75% by 16 years (this is to answer apis's questions too, sorry for the delay hehe hope your son is getting better now). for me, i'm the unfortunate 25% who still has this condition every now and then, which is worsen whenever i'm stressed. currently it affects my neck, its most favourite site of all, and it's been there for about month now. i do apply steroid cream, but with limited success. the neck is the most difficult site to get rid of eczema i tell you, based on my experience, especially now since i'm wearing a tudung on a permanent basis. no, i dont blame the tudung wearing, it had occured even before i start wearing a tudung. last time when i was so stressed out about the finals, the eczema was stuck there at the neck for 4 months.

anyway, back to my initial topic, i found it unbelievable when i could not get a tub of aqueous cream anywhere here in malaysia. even the small tube i will have to order it at the pharmacy. i dont want the small tube, like 15gm or 30gm ones, i want the 500gm tub one, that i can use it generously, and i even, more than once use it when i shower, that was when i got the whole body eczema, yup during that final exams too. here in malaysia, i had tried various other creams, like sebamed lotion, vaseline and rosken. the latter one was the most acceptable, but still not as moisterised as the aqueous cream. but since i cannot get the one i want, then i have to settle for the second best loh, ie the rosken. or maybe i can pesan my old friends who are still in the uk for them to bring back some tubs of aqueous cream when they come back to malaysia. hehe i'll send them emails later :D

another 4 weeks and a half before the term ends weeeee :). err.. on second thought, should a 29-year-old be looking forward for a cuti sekolah? i bet she should! hehehe. plan to spend it with hubby =D and to cook, kemas rumah, basuh baju, iron his clothes, make the bed etc. yeah i so looking forward for the semester break!

talking about hubby makes me miss him.. oh hubby...

anyway, one has to be tough. hehe.

ok, on a different note, someone jatuh longkang yesterday. me that is haha. ntah mcm mane boleh tak nampak longkang tu haha. got some minute abrasions on my right foot and it hurts when i walk, and luckily it didnt swell this morning.

oh yeah, i got my language exams this week. tomorrow is the english 'creative writing' exam ie the essay one. but the one i'm most worried about is the bahasa melayu exam one. do you know i got 56% on my trial bm paper? bloody hell! i'm so so worried for the bm paper that will take place this friday. how can i be so bad in bm? i got A1 for my bm spm huh. well... hmm.. that was 12 years ago haha. do you know how much bm has changed since then? like who ever have known that 'oleh kerana itu' is wrong, when it should be 'oleh sebab itu'? like, wth? pray to god i will pass this paper, i dont want to be the first malay, or the first student (!) in this campus to fail her bm paper huhu.

on the other hand, i enjoyed my english classes very much. it was a welcome change from my main course classes. we had a drama, where i was the scripwriter (my first time!), and then we had an impromptu, that is a spontaneous public speaking. that was from my english speaking class. in my creative writing class, i was required to write a short story, of any theme and storyline. this was my first short story, ie like a cerpen, and it was about a girl who lives in 2 different world. no, it's not like hannah montana, you silly, but it was magical and fantasy one. it was about a girl who was crippled by the recurrent attacks of seizure in one world, when she was loved and cared by her friends and families no matter what her conditions were. however, no one knew that whenever she had the seizures, she would be transported to a different world, called belagre, where there were the sanudras, who resembled human the most but not quite, and there were talking animals living as belagreans too. however, there was a war between the belagreans and the nearby country, led by rufaldi. the main character, alya, along with her companion 5-foot talking dog named alsalso, and her guardian, okada, the friendly, mighty ox, must fight along with the rest of belagreans against rufaldi's soldiers. alya was very strong and capable in the other world, thus making her prefer the belagre world more.

the story's climax was when the 2 worlds began to mix and merge, and alya had to choose one world. and the twist was that the whole story was supposed to make as if alya would prefer the belagre, where she was very capable and independent, than the earth, , when at the end she chose to stay on earth instead. however, at the last paragraph, when alya already decided to remain on earth and thought she would never return to belagre, she was suddenly transported back to belagre at her own will. she then realised that was when she finally found her unique power (forgot to mention to you that all belagreans had one unique power each, for example some can levitate, some can do magis etc, and alya had yet to discover hers until the end of the story) and that she could be either on earth or belagre, at her own will. the end.

HOWEVER, obviously i could not have written all of these in a 10-page, new roman time font 12, double spacing. that was the requirement of the short story essay, and it was supposed to be between 7 to 10 pages long. i wrote 13 pages long and it was no where near the halfway of the initial plot. my english teacher then told me that my problem was that i wrote too long as i had too many ideas. she said she asked for a short story, not a novel haha. yup, when i think about it, with that plot, i could have written a novel. finally, with great difficulties, i decided to change the plot. the new plot involved alya, after the latest severe seizure attack that left her almost paralysed, could not return to belagre anymore. then one day a visitor came to her house, and asked to see her. this tall, big man resembled someone so familiar to alya, although she could not figured it out. at the end it was okada, her guardian at belagre, after performing certain magic spells, came to earth in human form and came to bring her back to belagre. the end.

i know it was a lousy ending, but what can do, a short story IS a short story, not a novel haha. i was so inspired to be writer, i have always loved to write (and this blog is the prove! haha). then hubby said to me, 'dear, go and finish your study first, then you can consider becoming a writer ok'. thanks hubby for bringing me back to earth haha.

anyway, i think this entry is long enough so i better stop here. time to start working!


4/10/2009 12:09:00 PM 0 Comments »
just came back from kuantan. actually didnt plan to go home this weekend, got tonnes of work to do, books to read, guidelines and protocol to study, plus got oncall on saturday full day, case presentation on sunday, then english exam on tuesday and bm exam on friday next week. but then something turned up at home that made me felt compelled to return home, plus i ever so miss dear maisarah, so i left my uni on wednesday afternoon. and then returned back to the uni a day earlier, for the reasons mentioned above. situation back home was expectedly bad, if not worse, actually to tell you the truth, i'm not sure whether it can get any worse, as more and more things occuring at almost on a weekly basis that i'm not surprised nor sad anymore. we are tired, i know i am tired, it's been dragging for about 5 years now and everyone wants to move on. i've given up on certain individuals in the past and it wasnt that hard for me, except that this time i actually care and love for this person so much that i found it very difficult to cut all the ties between us. i'm not sure about the rest of the family members, but i know all of these are difficult for them as well.

anyway, lets not talk about the sad and the bad. life do goes on, and it will be a waste to moan about the negative aspects of our lives. so lets just be a little bit more optimistic and more cheerful, shall we?


i bought a new pair of glasses hehe. they were quite a different one than the previous glasses that i used to wear. mind you, i've been wearing glasses for, let me see, 21 years (oh my god, is it true? cant believe it.. but it is true, since i've been a full time spectacles' wearer since 8 years old) and i had tried all kinds of glasses, the round, the oval, the rectangular, the gold, black, silver, copper, red, blue, full frame, half frame, frameless and the list goes on. so this time i choose a different one. it's a rectangular frame (i found this frame shape suits best with my face hehe), plastic frame, a little bit bigger than my usual small frames, it is black in colour ie the rectagular part, but white in colour on the other parts. very interesting hehehe. and although it is a plastic frame, but it has nose pads, which is essential for me who owns a not-so-high nose bridge haha. anyway, that's the good part. the bad part was that they had to increase my power lens huhu, now both are 650, with the astig power of 200 on the right and 150 on the left. camane ni? i thought lens power should have been stabled as you go older. i dont want to get blind!

anyway, one should not jump to conclusions, as someone once advised me. think i should take care of my eyes a bit better now. i'll see what i can, and should, do for the sake of my eye sight huhu.

those who know me know how much i adore this little girl. my niece, maisarah, that is. i'm so fond of this girl, she is so adorable. sangat lah cutenya, very smart and cheeky too :). she's now a year and 9 months old and owns about 20 pairs of shoes and counting! hehe. and she knows where to point at when asked where is her mata, hidung, mulut, kaki, tangan, rambut, perut and telinga. now i'm teaching her to know what is jari and lutut. i dont mind to drive 5 hours just to see her smile, then salam me, kiss my cheeks and then hear her say out loud 'Nina!' (my name at home) hehe. i heart you maisarah!!

now i know my maternal feeling has finally come out haha

anyway, got to head bed soon. penat aa driving balik tadi. it didnt feel that much tired when i drove back to kuantan, cos i got to see maisarah at the end of that journey, but to drive back to the uni with not-a-thing to greet me huhu it tripled the tiredness haha. sayonara..

grand boredom

4/04/2009 06:48:00 AM 0 Comments »
last night i finally watched twilight the movie. for some reason i can almost hear voices behind my back that would say 'huh? finally? you should have watched it ages ago!'. well, those who know me know that i dont like when people said to me 'oh you should watch this movie, it's so so good, i know you would enjoy it'. well, in this stubborn head of mine would say back 'err why? how would you know that i will definitely like this movie? who are you to tell me this? do you know me? well, you know what, i'm not going to watch it haha' as i hate being told what to do. and i dont think this is complicated, it is just pure stubbornness haha told you my insight is good haha.

anyway, i watched the movie last night and thought it was not so bad. i finally understand why girls all over the world would fell head over heels over that cullen boy, edward. he is undeniably gorgeous in that movie, although i think he is not so much outside the movie. however, i think his acting was a bit 'kayu' haha (i'm certain i can say that safely here without the fear of obsessed rob pattison's fans out there to kill me, cos i'm 100% certain no one watch that movie here at my local uni, who dont even know who obama is, so the chances of them knowing who is rob pattison is pretty pretty slim haha). anyway, back to the movie, it was definitely a romantic movie, with a easy-to-follow storyline, but for some reason i couldnt appreciate the movie. why? because that movie is so ever clearly for young teenagers, adolescent girls and i felt i'm kinda left that boat for quite some time ago, let me see, 10 years ago? haha. the movie and the books are clearly for a certain age of audience and readers, and i'm not within that age group. gosh i feel old.. but i think that is the reason why i seemed not to enjoy the movie in a way that i think i should, altho i agree that it is a good movie.

on the other hand, in harry potter books and movies (hehe here comes..), there is always some child spirit in everyone of us (including me! ;D) and that is why some adults enjoy it as well. where else in the twilight saga, everyone had gone though adolescent once in their lifetime, the adults i mean, and not everyone want to relive or to remember the past times again (that's me too haha). furthermore the storyline in the twilight saga (which i later read from wikipaedia haha) is so cliche, everyone got their happy ending etc, unlike in harry potter in which some character do die haha. and, this is the most annoying part, the twilight saga is about CINTA BUTA which i strongly disbelieve with. cinta buta sgt sampai nak jadi vampire? hello? like the one in the matrix (the 3rd and final movie) when that neo guy choose his love for this girl over the whole humanity? hello? no offence to hubby, cos i do love you so very much, but if it was left to me to decide between my personal love and the whole humanity of the world, du'oh, i would know what to choose in a blink of an eye. seriously! we're talking about logic here la weh. i'm sure hubby would decide the same too. and one more thing that i hate about the twilight is that main female character, bella. oh my god she is so lembik! take care of yourself la woman! seriously lemah betul. asyik nak kene selamatkan aje huh, mcm useless aje haha. at least hermione got her brain, sakura in naruto (finally) got her super strength sampai boleh pecahkan batu besar gaban, but this bella girl? i know la that edward guy is super duper gorgeous, but cant you just rely on yourself once in a while? and she is very stubborn too, everything must done according to her plan. marry first, then the sex, then becoming the vampire, and no one else can have their say. pastu dah la betray edward by kissing that werewolf jacob guy, then she even admitted that she was indeed in love with jacob, just that her love to edward was stronger. apekebende? mmg selfish betul haha. pastuh si jacob plak frust tak dpt bella, boleh pie 'book' anak edward and bella, renesmee yg baru lahir pulak? mmg agak pelik ka this storyline

overall, harry potter is still the best (:p ok come and kill me hehe). i'm not even tempted to buy the twilight saga books huh

mainan baru =D

4/03/2009 11:46:00 AM 0 Comments »

someone (not me haha) decided to buy this cutie solely for its colour, and she had no idea whatsoever of its function (no surprise on where i got that gene from haha). and that someone also decided to let me keep it :D
felt a bit awkward, and she gave no reason whatsoever. she just bought it and then asked me to keep it and use it. pelik kan? and since this is my mother we are talking about, so i accept je la hehehe
those who know me know that i'm the kind that prefer to read the manual. even the viva when i first had it i read the whole manual book! haha. so as usual i (just had to) read the manual for this Pinky (yup, that's the name i gave her! haha) and discovered byk bende rupenye bende ni ade. and my best guess would be that mama did not even know about it haha. i think she must have just gone into a camera shop and had a look around and then pointed out for the camera that her eyes liked the most, solely from the appearance and then bought it! mcm beli brg kat pasar..
anyway, i just discovered that i can switch the images by just 'tilting' or 'shaking' it. the camera can also self-rotate the images depending on how you hold the camera. then ade byk lagi function like you can set how long you want the self-timer to be, or to erase a selected lists of images in one go, even protect the images that you dont want to get erased accidently etc. ai.. long gone those simple digital camera that you just press a button, the image then appear on screen, then you decide wheather you want to keep it or not, then go on to the next image, then masukkan dlm computer. kan senanggggg..
oklah, got to main2 with this thing some more. nak mandi some more. i lurveeeee weekend hehe