11/16/2003 10:21:00 PM 0 Comments »
ha. ha. ha.
numb. empty. hole. zero.
wanted to upgrade and improve my blog. but dono how to do it. tried everything. useless. it's a fact i'm no good at this thing. very frustated. a while ago i was very euthusiastic bout templates, html etc. but i was stucked. frustated. maybe should blame it on cadbury's cocha mocha. bcause of the caffeine. it tends to make me 'hyper' and over-do something that i know i'm not any good at. and i'm not supposed to do this! exam 2 weeks agi makcik...

but the euthusiasm is still there. i always fascinate computers. bout how it works, all the programmes, even the physical appearance always give me 'walamak...caya gaban woo' feeling. at the same time i feel it's distant and full of mystery. something that i know i cant be good at, becauce it's too....damn intelligent. i guess that's why i respect and adore ppl who are good at computers. one reason i like azali (other reason ada gaks aa haha).

ayoyo. frust frust. sigh. talked to azali just now. thought he would understand me. only too much. he already know the answer. the only thing that prevent me from grasping this computer thingy is that i already set my mind on how hard it is. 'maner der susah sgt...tapir pun leh buat'. it is too hard for me, and i dont think i can learn it, not in million years. easy for him to say...though i know it's true. but still think it's too hard for me. always and always think it's too much for my mind to accept. fact.

then sigh again. susah aa if you want to change a fact. or i find it hard to change a fact. a fact will always be a fact. the fact that some ppl are good in something and some ppl are not. it's in the statistic. the fact that i'll always be at the other side of the spectrum is kinda hard to change. azali told me to learn the basic, there're lots of website about learning templates, html bla bla bla. he even told me to find his old Dreamweaver cd that he left me. he told me Dreamweaver is very easy, has it's own ready-made template etc. think i would believe him? nope. easy for him. not for me

degil nyer otak aku ni. fact.

should i learn or should i stick to the old one?