11/14/2003 01:09:00 PM 0 Comments »
a cold friday morning
study study study. so far so good, kot. lom tekan minyak sgt. cause i dont want to gelabah cepat2. need to control my adrenaline level...cool down a little bit..sayang my jantung

suke pie wirda nyer blog. she writes honestly.

never like romance/love book. never actually finish one. it's ILLOGICAL. real world will not be like that. not even a pinch. i'm a kind of person who always berpijak di bumi yg nyata. keep real. keep logic. LOGIC LOGIC LOGIC. i believe the statistic..yup, the bell shape distribution..i truly believe. dont think i believe in miracle. what you give is what you get back. and i know what i want. life is short, and i dont want to waste it in Dilemmas. it's a waste to spend time deciding. once you decide, there's no looking back. eat, live and die for your decision, as a loser is someone who regrets his decision.

tough huh? easy say than done. well, that's me. though lately i keep on losing it. start to regret. passivity. negativity. more yang than yin. my body cant seem to cope, but my mind says cope cope cope. my mind said eat, live and die for your decision, but my body's too fed up with all the orders from the mind. my mind controls my body for this past 23 years. i respect my mind more than i respect my body. and i really really hate my body. dono. dono. it was sad. my caunsellor once asked me why did i hate my body? dono. then she asked me, if my future daughter has the same face and body physical as me, what will i feel? what will i say to her? i went numb. I FEEL SORRY FOR HER. that was my answer. an honest answer. i wouldnt lie to her.

my life's complicated. as a believer in statistic, i believe other ppl's life are too. except for the extreme 5% at both end of the bell shape. my aim in life is to be in the 6-94% of the normal distribuation. be as normal as can be, with both feet firm on the ground. keep real