long-lost love

3/28/2006 10:26:00 PM 0 Comments »


for the first time in myself, i dont understand numbers. numbers and maths had been my strongest subject in schools, and now after more than 5 years of no-numbers, no-calculation life, i'm lost. it's bitter to swallow.

there was something about numbers that satistied me. they never lie. 2 plus 3 is 5, and will always be 5, and you can never change that. my heart was full of joy everytime i did numbers. i would smile from ear to ear everytime i did numbers. when i was 16 going 17, i cried to my mum and told her how much i loved numbers and that i would like very much to spend the rest of my life doing numbers. i would breath, live and die with numbers. that was how much i loved my numbers. she just went silent.

that was almost 10 years ago. i havent done numbers for a looong time, well, sometimes i do count for the house phonebills, whenever ct allows me. even the maths books that i swore to treasure for the rest of my life, had gone. my family had moved around quite a lot, and for me being away, they lost most of my stuff. a few years back when life got rough, i cried silently on my bed and soothed myself with good memories and reminded myself of my long-lost love of numbers. i used to promise myself to not let go of this love and tried to do as much numbers as i can, but it seemed to remain just as a promise. i couldnt even remember what standard deviation and variance are. i couldnt even remember how to do differentiation. i have lost my numbers.

lets not cry now, shall we. life has chosen a different path for me. i need to focus on my path now and there is no use to cry for the past. now, how shall i understand this sample variance study thingy? it is part of my presentation, the ol supervisor who declared himself as 'statistic genius' (...) had done all the statistic calculation himself and didnt explain it to me. now that it's part of my presentation where they have question-answer session and that there might be questions about the calculation from the audience, so in other words, i need to know about this sample variance study thingy in 2 days time. got it?