it's over!

3/10/2006 06:13:00 PM 0 Comments »
finally it's over!

my presentation that is.

it went...ok, i think. hell yes, i was nervous. i figured out that it was the waiting that makes me nervous. waiting has always been the biggest hurdle. but once you stood there, everything was ok. well, at least well according to plan la. i have practised this presentation for god knows how many times, almost all the people that i've met and known already heard me presenting. suddenly i felt a bit guilty. for involving too many people. typical me. when gelabah, i tend to be a pain in the ass. seriously! and now i feel guilty and ashamed. of myself. well, the crucial thing now is that the presentation is over, totally, utterly over, and i can have my life back, my sleep and appetite back, and concentrate on the rest of my options.

you know i only slept 5 hours last night? that was after mugs of horlicks and camomile & lavender tea, and 2 paracetamol? these list of stuff are supposed to help me sleep, well, at least they worked in the past. but last night i only managed to get 5 hours of sleep. well, at least it was a dreamless sleep. and i didnt eat a single thing today! was tooooo damn nervous to eat. only took 2 beta-blockers to calm me down. but no food at all. it was a wonder how i managed to stand in front of the lecture theatre to present my audit. i think my liver must be healthy then. they truthfully provide enough stored glucose for my body for one whole day. gosh laparnye!

i have this one ritual everytime i have some big events. i like to wear something new. i believe they bring good luck. i think they are more to boost my confidence. so today i wore something new. not one, but 5 new stuff haha. new shirt, new trousers, new socks, new brooch and new haircut. the shirt is a cute cute one, with its puff sleeves and round lapel, in which ct said like kindergarden's uniform. i got it from topshop and it's white in colour. the trouser is plain black. and the brooch i made it myself, using buttons and ribbons. shanti and ellina think it is cute. and this morning i get myself a fringe (finally!) and cut about an inch of my hair. gosh, look at the preparation! and it was just for one-fucking-8-minute presentation. come to think of it..lawak gak la. elly yg poyo. officially. haha.

the rest of the week was...busy, and very, very surprisingly, good. mr nasty obstetrician suddenly become super nice and cool consultant. seriously, it's my biggest puzzle of all. i went to his clinics earlier this week, and i learnt a lot. this consultant, i admit, is super genius, at least in his field. he looks young, yet so brainy. all of the staff keep asking him 1001 questions and he could answer every single of them. and remains cool at the same time. and then he let me assist a caesarean section, which was super duper cool. i was actually super nervous at that time, and thanks to the wonder of beta-blockers, i managed to remain calm. the consultant even joked after the surgery by saying i was as cool as a cucumber during the whole procedure! ha ha. but to be able to assist a surgery, it was a priceless experience.

later that day, after i realised that the consultant might be in a good mood, i decided to accept his offer to help with my presentation. and he was super nice again. he gave me lots, and lots of tips and advices on how to do a presentation. my supervisor is nice, i begin to like and enjoy the things i do now, and although i hate to admit, i think obstetrics is not that bad. i like geriatrics so much last month, and seriously considering it for my future, but now that i begin to like obstetrics, it's kinda a mixed feeling. dilemma hmm. well, good thing i dont have to make my decision now. i just want to enjoy 4th year, of course to pass it too lah, go home this summer to do electives and come back with a fresh and committed body, mind and soul for final year. amin.

ok, back to reality. it's a wonder how i can think and write this long with a low sugar level in my blood. so, friday night.. what's the plan? not-a-thing. just chilling out. but there is still some adrenaline leftovers in my body (from the presentation today), and i feel like doing something. like watch the movie. but there is not a single thing on the cinema. just rubbish films. waaa.. i want to do something exciting tonite... hehe need to fill my stomach first. eat first, think later. have a nice weekend everyone!