one friday morning

8/26/2005 09:30:00 AM 0 Comments »
i'm not feeling very well lately. i think it's my sinusitis. blocked nose, headache, and i think i got a temperature this morning but it turned out that i forgot to switch off the heater. i hate having bilateral blocked nose. complete blocked. my theory is that whenever i'm stressed, my immune system seems to shut down. last time my face 'shreded' and this time it is my sinus. i'm not keen to see the gp, i just dont, but i think i need that steroid spray again, but dont think i want to go out today, so i think i'll wait till monday to see the doc. hopefully i'll be fine by then.

talking about stress, yup, these past few days had been quite a stressed one. just glad it's over now.

talked to mama last night. my parents are going to haji this dec, insyaAllah, and mama mentioned about the wasiat that my dad plan to do before they go to haji. then it hit me, i just realised that i wont be able to see them before they go to haji at the end of this year. my eyes started to water at that time, then my mum said to not to worry, if anything happen, just believe that we'll meet again kat akhirat. i was speechless, and shaken, and sad, and cried for about an hour after that. my mum is my world. no, you dont understand, she IS my world, my soul and my everything. just thinking about what could happen to her can bring tears in my eyes, like, in a split second. my heart is very much attached to her, and if anything happen to her, i dont think i can face the world. simple like that.

i'm not in a mood to write anymore. i just would like to thank sayang for being a marvelous best friend/partner. he is a good man. i can share with him things that i cant with other people, not even to the closest friend. he knows my deepest fear, my sacred-est secrets, my worst weakness, he saw my worst side, yet he is still there. yup, he IS still there, bravely holding my hand in my journey to face the world. Allah bless him for the things that he has done for me. i can see now why my family was astonished, more like shocked, when i told them i got a bf, a serious one, 3 years ago. i took it as an insult, i thought they thought that i wasnt good enough to make a man committed to me. but now i understand. it takes more than a regular, typical man to stand by me. i dont think most of you understand, i am not a simple person, not even close, and for a guy to choose to stay by my side after knowing all the worst side of me, it is a miracle. honestly, it is. no, i dont compare my relationship with others, i dont say he is the best guy in the world, i just say that he is the best guy for me, and i forever grateful :)