me, myself and i

10/24/2004 02:30:00 AM 0 Comments »
it's 2am ish, early sunday morning and i'm well awake. think i should write something in my blog other than just my daily event.

selfish. that's what some people used to tell me. at least 2 of them are my good friends, who knew me better enough for me to respect their views. am i selfish? indeed i am. but..not that kind of selfish when you pijak other ppl's head for you to gain something high. my problem is that i dont care. i just dont care. and i dont want to care. just mind your own business and let other ppl mind their own business. simple. no busy-bodying, no gossiping. unless that person or that thing disturb me or my life, then i do mind.

eg: a girl in my group was busy talking (gossiping) about another girl in my group who has a very thin body and big boobs. i cant see any point of this. has the big-boob girl ever disturb the other girl? no. has the big-boob girl ever stole the other girl's bf because of her big boob? no. the big-boob girl maybe caught some extra attention from the boys, that's it. i think the other girl is just plain dengki. sukati big-boob girl tu la. if she wants a D or E cup pun, it's purely up to her. it's her life. it's her body. it's fate that you have a smaller-than-average boobs. why do you have to talk about other people?

well, as usual, bla bla bla i also talk about other ppl behind their back. that's because they had somehow disturbed me or my life. this one girl used to tell some guys who i like, that i like them. i have told her precisedly earlier, that i dont like to inform those guys. but she told them anyway. will i bitch about her? hell i will. but of course la after i confronted her. if it's just once, fine, maybe she slipped it out accidently. but 2nd time? confronted her, talked to her, marah her, bitch about her. ha ha cruel woo hehe. was it my fault for telling her at the first place? everybody have crushes. not serious at all. like 'i like that guy's hair' or 'i like that guy's smile'. and she assumed i like those guys and told them about it! BITCH.

back to my point... it works vice versa too. i dont like to care about other ppl, and i dont like ppl to care about me. my usual sentence will be

it's up to you. it's your life
dont ask question
who are you to ask me?

and i really hate ppl asking me

where have you been?

it's my life. if i go and jump the bridge, hell it's my choice.

if you want to go and jump the bridge, then do it. it's your life.

i dont care, and i dont want to care. selfish? i just want to do my own stuff without being questioned. i dont like giving explaination. i strongly believe that life is short. too short to need to give explaination for every single thing that i do or decide.

am i being strong-headed? yes i am. everybody knows i am degil. am i disturbed? not at all. i accept the fact that i am selfish and strong-headed. i cant understand why some ppl are so worried about having some 'negative' character in them. 'oh, i musnt feel good over my ex's misery', or 'I really don't understand how people can be so bitter'. hello, if that other people is so damn bad and proved to be bad, then why not? nk jadi good-good, sweet girl, who has a pure and innocent heart? ha ha bullshit. all ayu ppl out there, go and die.

it's a harsh blog, isnt it? my personal opinion. my personal prinsip. my life. my choice.