My World

i have half an hour before my next seminar. just finished my case study, bloody hell, this woman has dermatomyositis, erythema multiforme, autoimmune blisters and a few more conditions like lung cancer. talk about bad luck. i wonder if she is just a fiction, for us med student to cover a lot of stuff in one case study.

anyway,

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri
Maaf Zahir Batin

this year raya is a bit different. i mean in my perception of hari raya. a few years back, hari raya was just another day, i didnt feel much, even puasa was just a typical day, mostly i didnt even realise the end of ramadhan and the arrival of syawal. being abroad, syawal is just another day. i have my usual class, my usual case studies aka homeworks to finish, pegi balik sekolah mcm biasa. even last night ie malam raya i didnt do anything. i thought of cooking, but yesterday was a full long day and i was very tired so i decided to spend my time on stuff that i enjoy. i showered, laid on my bed and watched star wars. that's how i treat myself.

then got this one guy asking me 'hei malam raya, buat la ape2, malam raya wei'. what do you expect me to do? anyam ketupat? pegie join keluarga sape2 ntah tuk dgr takbir raya? i was annoyed. fine, i do miss my family, this is the 6th syawal i'm abroad, and alone, so let me spend my time on the stuff that i know best for me. but this year is indeed different compared to previous years. i'm no longer homesick. i just miss my family. there is a big difference between those two. homesick is more like you are in denial, you desperately need to be with someone at a different location. it affects you more psychologically. while if you miss someone, you miss their presence and the way they make you feel. i miss my family, mama, abah, jiman, iwan and kak lysa, and their all purple theme this year. but i'm no longer homesick. it took me 9 years to overcome homesickness, and i'm finally there, on this year's syawal :)