11/08/2005 07:32:00 PM 0 Comments »
mode: malas

when it's cold and wet outside, and you just had dinner and showered and put on your pyjamas, all you want to do is lying on the bed doing nothing.

that's exactly what i'm doing right now hihi.

the weather has been quite horrible lately. it's wet, windy, and super cold. cant imagine how cold the winter will be like. on second thought, yes i do, it will be my 6th winter here this december, and of course i know what winter will be like. i'm just hoping that i can spend the early winter somewhere else besides newcastle. somewhere really hot, which serves really good and cheap food, with lots of familiar faces. i'm thinking of home. but with my current visa-less plus passport-less situation, things are not going well as planned. as much as i dont want to think about it, i do.

i'm covered by feelings of guilt for writing bout my relationship probs in this blog. it's personal and private. but being me, typical hot-big-headed fiercely defensive me, i just had to pour it out loud. i cant keep it to myself. sometimes i share personal stuff to my mum, but when one is really damn moody and angry, one just cannot help from shouting, and of course one doesnt want to shout at one's mum.

well, what's done is done. terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kate badan binasa. now i have to accept the consequences, whatever that is. but i do stick on my words. i have no regrets. i was very very angry at that time and that indeed influenced my judgement. i wrote a few entries in the past that i didnt publish, but this time my anger exceeded everything and i decided to publish it. i know that i'll always feel guilty on whatever decision i make, so be it.

think i better stop now and do something useful, like, revising. exams are a few weeks away, and being a very slow starter, think i should start by updating my notes. i'll be working as usual tomoro, and believe it or not, i just asked for a raise. i hope i get a raise after being paid less 20% than what every other medical notes summarisers received. i didnt ask for much, i just want to be paid fairly, but of course i was scared, this is my first job and this is the first time ever i ask for a raise. hope it went ok. have a nice week everyone.