finally i have some time for a long entry that i plan to write.
this entry is meant for the sake of my memory. as time flies at a faster rate especially when you are busy and occupied, you tend to forget all the small little details that occured in your daily lives. as this is one of the most important event in my life, i hope not to leave any memory behind and to treasure every moment of it.
it started on wednesday afternoon when i planned to drive back home. i used to drive the 5-hour journey alone a couple of times before, so i couldnt see any problem there. but as usual, being a girl who lives in malaysia, this action is apparently never heard of by most of my friends who was in shock to hear that i would be driving alone for 5 hours to attend my own wedding. i appreciated their concern, and believe me if i had another solution i would have taken it.
the journey back home was almost always quite an adventurous one. the last time i drove back was last raya, when it was raining ever so heavily, with tunders and strong wind, and i couldnt see a thing on the road and had to stop a few times, but i never told anyone about this cos i know if my parents knew about this, they would forbid me from driving back alone again. and of course i wouldnt want that, would i? i want to remain as independent as possible, especially since now i own my own car. and this time it was also rained rather heavily, but minus the tunder and wind. but added with a rough few days previously, actually i was rather tired to drive but i was determined to continue on my plan that afternoon. i had all sorts of sweets, keropok and asams to accompany me, with cds and mp3 songs. i dont usually make a stop in the middle of the journey, cos i cant see the point of stopping somewhere to get a drink or something when you're driving alone, and that i would rather have a straight drive and reach my destination asap.
reached kuantan at 6pm something, went straight to see my sort-of wedding planner. you see, i booked a bridal boutique in kuantan to do almost all the things that i needed for the wedding. and me not being in kuantan to sort it out myself, i only contacted them through phones to ask for them to arrange for this and that. from them i booked the pelamin, the khemahs plus deco, the make-ups and the accesories, and also the bunga telor, bunga dulang and bunga pahar. and i thought they were rather good, being a fussy bride myself. as i mentioned before, i dont think i'm the fussiest bride out there, but i definitely know what i want and i adamantly want it all done according to my choice. and i make this quite clear when i saw the wedding team for the first time. i think i managed to convince them that i'm not big-headed (yes i am ahah) or berlagak, it's just that i know what i want and i want it done my way. like when i said i didnt want a single glint of gold seen in any of my wedding stuff, they truely understood that and tried their best to fulfill it. like when i told them the theme was 'simple, but nice' and especially no extravagance like kerawang2 or heavy2 stuff, and they listened to that. like when i said i want a white and silver bunga stokin and nothing else as my bunga telor, bunga dulang and bunga pahar, they did that as well and i fully appreciated it. like when i want this particular fresh flower bunga pegang and informed them just 2 days before the wedding, they managed to pull it off and i was indeed pleased. and when my mother specifically wanted each of the 14 guest tables to have a small basket of fresh white roses and other white coloured flowers, they managed to prepare it all within 1 day of notice. i was indeed very pleased.
ok enough with the wedding team. back to the night i came back home. after seeing the wedding team that night, i went straight to one of the tailor who made my nikah and groom's reception dresses. this is when being someone who knows exactly what she wants becomes such a pain in the ass. the dresses didnt turn out like i want it to be, and it did upset me a lot. the dresses fit me ok, but it just werent the dresses that i imagined it would be like. actually the dresses were ready before raya but i wasnt satisfied with them so i returned it back and asked the tailor to do some modification. after about a month, i came back and the result was still frustating. i had to calm myself and reminded myself that i shouldnt behave like this and that i should be grateful for being able to afford to buy and tailor-made all my wedding dresses. some of you guys out there must be thinking what a selfish and arrogant person i am, well, there you go. the real me. i wouldnt want to justify myself, but it IS my wedding, MY wedding, and as i mentioned many, many times, having a pretty and perfect dress is my most, MOST top, TOP priority in my wedding. i dont care about the guests, or the presents, or the pelamin, or makan beradab, (although i admit being rather obsessive about colour coordination haha) but all i ever wanted was to have nice, beautiful, hardly-cant-breath pretty dresses for my wedding. is that what you called fussy? then you havent met that many brides-to-be huh.
anyway, i managed to calm myself and able to accept the dresses as they were and drove back home. imagine how tired i was for being in the car from 1 to 8pm! about 7 hours of driving! seriously penat. but no, i couldnt simply lay my head on the pillow yet that night. i had to finish all my 9 hantarans that night and slept at 3 in the morning.
woke up at 7 next morning. what did i do that day? oh yeah, kemas my bilik to turn it to bilik pengantin. as i mentioned, i wasnt fussy at all about this bilik pengantin. kemas itu kemas ini, earlier that week the curtain lady dah pasangkan the langsir, using the material i choose myself a few months before raya lagi. you know what? after writing all these, it made me realise one new thing about myself: i like to be incharge when it's regarding my life. (for some unknown reason i can actually hear ellina said - er, actually kan, ko mmg mcm tu sejak dulu lagi - weird, but i'm convinced she would say that, but i guess she knows me best haha). like i wanted to choose curtain material myself (altho it's just a plain stripe cream-coloured one), then choose the dress materials myself (specifically wanted an off-white french lace with bunga setompok2, lining with light grey/silver satin - when everyone, altho mama was the only one brave enough to mention it, thought it was a dull combination) and choose such an unconventional ring (with not a single fan out there, among my family and relatives, but they werent brave enough to mention this to me haha). anyway, there you go. the real me. a control freak haha.
hmm.. how come the more i write, the more i reveal the not-so-pleasing personality of mine? this entry is about the wedding, not about me and my head haha. so here goes again.
told you this going to be a looooonnggg entry. as i said, this entry is for my memory, so if you dont like, please go hehe.
so where are we? oh, thursday. spent the whole day tidying my room. altho the curtains were new, but it wasnt from my request, it was mama's. all i did was choose the material and the design. all because mama didnt want to choose it herself (but i guess she also knows her daughter very well..). the cadar pengantin was not new. no one actually had it before, but it wasnt bought specifically for the wedding. kak lysa bought it from china about 2 years ago and i thought it was so simple, yet so pretty and i decided there and then to use it for my wedding. all the attempts done by mama to convince me to buy a new (and more extravaganza) one had failed. see, i'm not that fussy, i just know what i want.
oh yeah, how can i forget, that same thursday afternoon i was waiting ever so eagerly for kak lysa to arrive from kl. why? because she would bring my silver wedding dress from kl! after a frustating event the day before regarding my other wedding dresses, my only consolation was my final wedding dress that was going to be used for my house reception. i wrote it so many times in my previous entries about how eager i was to have this dress readied. tempah at butik citra, ampang point and spent quite some money to get it tailored (the reason i mentioned the butik's name was that it was a request from mr iszal, the tailor, who would like me to recommend his butik to my friends, and after seeing the final result and as a show of ever-so gratitude towards his workmanship, i decided to put it here, altho rase tak sedap hati sket as it can appear as if i bangga2 kan designer whatsoever, like certain blogs/fotopages of brides that would mentioned 'oh btw, rizalman or salikin or whoeverthatis designed my dress, if you must know'. that wasnt my intention, i was just so grateful for his services, how he was ever-so polite to me and my mum, how he listened to my needs, how he combined his design with mine (typical me knowing what i want), how he was so patient with me kept losing weight and that he had to repair the dress not once, but three times and the final result which was so breath taking (in my eyes) and the dress turned out exactly what i imagined it to be like. so coming from a fussy person, i fully recommend this person)
so as you can guess, that day was a happy day for me. i had one of my dream come true, ie to have a oh-so-breath-takingly pretty dress for my wedding. i dont care if others find it simple, or unimpressive, but that dress was perfect in my eyes. not too extravagance, not too shimmering or glittering, it was just perfect. everything was so matched, with its shoes and veil, all with the same beads designs, and the colour of beads were perfectly matched. just like i imagined my wedding dress would be like. it was just perfect. and this might sound funny, or even silly, but the moment i saw and tried the dress (which fitted me perfectly, of course) i instantly know i can do this, i mean all the wedding thingy, and that i know i can go through with it all. it gave me such a boost of confidence. that was how having a perfect dress meant to me. silly eh?
gosh, this entry is already long, and this hasnt include the wedding day itself! guess i have to write a second entry then. hmm altho i dont have to apologise since this is my blog and that i can write whatever i want, but for some reason i felt guilty for writing such a long, and maybe boring, entry. so there you go. half my brain said sorry, the other half said 'who cares?'. anyway, will write again and finish this entry soon. tadaloo.