My World

everyday since the last entry i planned to write the next one, but asyik tak sempat2 jek. well, that's not the only excuse. i'm still angry and annoyed, with the previous topic, as well as everything else, so i cant write, or else i write something nasty, like the previous entries. i suspect it's that time of the month again huh.

anyway today i finally managed to persuade myself to write a line or two. i'll start with the weekend. you know i was moody and angry at the end of last week, so i didnt go to hospital on thursday. how can i concentrate if my head is boiling? then i felt guilty. final is just around the corner and i let my emotion took over my head. so i went to the hospital on saturday. wah i never knew hospital here is so damn quiet and empty on saturday. i wonder how is it on sunday? anyway, it was a very good decision, i had the wards ALL by myself, managed to do lots of work and thus i felt satisfied and good.

i wished i had stayed longer but then in the afternoon i had to go to the malaysian night rehearsal meeting. yup, i'm one of the volunteers and guess what will i do on that night? ha ha main batu seremban!! traditional games gitu ahaks! me gonna wear baju kebaya (tapi takde kain batik plak hi hi) and be perempuan melayu gitu. euww... well that's the idea. i'm supposed to teach how to play batu seremban that night haha. why oh why did i volunteer to help? firstly, to get a cheaper ticket! muahahaha volunteer ticket is nearly half price maa hehe. jahat gile.. shhh. and the other reason was that this year would (hopefully) be my final year here in newcastle, so might as well join in while i can. and the last reason was to meet other people. i'm in hospital most days now and didnt see anyone else except my housemates, so hopefully i can meet other malaysians (boleh percaya tak this reason? i'm not ahahh). anyway, it's this wednesday night and i hope it will be a good one.

ok back to the topic. after the rehearsal on saturday afternoon, i met up with some friends for a lunch in wagamama. heaven! makan, makan and makan, then we went for coffee in cafe nero. this place has the best chocolate drink in newcastle, it's melted chocolate plus whipped cream and it tastes heaven! we stayed there for a few hours, i think, and i had such a great time with such a great company.

i didnt do much on sunday. finished sewing some batu seremban (all 15 of them!) and watched tv. did a little bit of reading but it didnt work. i was too tired i guess. and i'm tired today as well. i had a long day today and had to force my eyes and brain to work. finished at half six and guess i'm sleeping early today. no use to do revision if your brain is tired and not prepared. i prefer a couple of hours of full concentration with an alert and awake brain then spending 24 hours facing a book with a sleepy and tired brain. well that's how i work. hah! cant believe i did it again. i just realise i tried to reason and justify my action AGAIN. i always do that. cant you see what i'm trying to do just now? i tried to justify my decision to have an earlier night instead of doing my revision. i need to stop this 'justifying' thing. it's becoming more obvious. you know i always preach that i am the only person who can decide what i want to do, and yet i'm continually trying to find a reason behind every action, usually the ones that i felt guilty about.

you know what, i think this is the sleepy brain writing. i've written too much. i'm too sleepy and tired, and i'm going to bed now. selamat malam...

ps: oh yeah... it's F1 this weekend!! wooo hoooo!! me so happy :D. ok back to bed zzzzz