My World

nope, i didnt go to work on friday. i felt guilty (again) on spending my time other than studying, so i decided to spend friday in the library. managed to stay there for a few hours and finished all my homework and case studies. then i felt satisfied for putting my priority right. and i'm no longer feel guilty for working today as i've finished all my coursework. i spent about 3 hours working at my usual work place this morning. hehe more money to buy more make-ups! am trying to squeeze some money to buy bobbi-brown's 2-in-1 concealer and anti-shine powder hihi.

altho i havent been tagged, i still want to do it. so here goes:

Se7en things that (will) scare me:
1. cacing, pacat, ulat and everything that moves using bendalir dlm bdn..euww..
2. headless figure and all sort of things that are not from this world aka ghosts
3. really really big people. i’m scared of being crushed
4. die alone and no one found me, like, forever, with no grave
5. being left by my loved one. don’t leave me please, you know who you are huhu
6. what people might thought of me. too bloody concious, I am
7. if i fall and got lost track of my life, again

Se7en things I like the most:
1. my friends in newcastle. They rock!
2. chocolate. god bless those who invents chocolate..
3. money money money and of course the stuff that I can buy with it
4. being engaged to the guy who I truly loved
5. having a great family who I love the most
6. my two wrists. I think they are the best part of my body hihi
7. cooking is my passion

Se7en most important things in my room :
1. my beloved tv
2. my laptop
3. my bed
4. lipsticks
5. watch
6. collection of clothes
7. whiteboard aka organiser

Se7en random facts about me:
1. i’m obsessed with chinese. i straighten my hair, i love their food and i’m even learning mandarin.
2. i care more than what people think
3. i like beautiful girls. let me rephrase, i like to see beautiful girls. cos they are beautiful. i can give compliment to them anytime. i once wrote a poem to compliment the beauty of a girl i knew. wont tell you who and don’t tell me why
4. the heat centre of my body is at….the tip of my nose. seriously
5. left handed people amazed me
6. i cry everytime i watch ‘Deep Impact’
7. i like monkeys. i think they are cute

Se7en things I plan to do before I die:
1. go around the world. moscow is a must.
2. go to north pole with my dad
3. give birth to at least a pair of children
4. be a good muslimah, a loving wife and mother, basically be a better person
5. go to haji with my husband and his parents and my parents
6. go to disneyworld with my family
7. i want to build an elderly home (rumah org2 tua)

Se7en things I can do:
1. i can cook :)
2. i can travel alone and find my way
3. i can sew and do crosstitch
4. i can spend endless time with the elderly
5. i managed to beat depression. i hope.
6. i can walk, a lot. just give me a good pair of trainers, a bottle of water, a hat, warm clothing and some food, and i can walk anywhere, anytime
7. i can go shopping 7 days in a row hihi

Se7en things I can't do:
1. i can't save money. no talent whatsoever
2. i cant drive. it’s too much pressure and anxiety, i cant cope
3. i cant remain silent, unspoken for more than a day. i need to talk to somebody, or something
4. be patient. am inpatient in many ways
5. not talking to my mum in more than a week.
6. i cant stand people who provoke me. ade aa yg kene penampar
7. i cant make myself think that i’m attractive. it’s just a big definite no in my head, and those who tell me otherwise are just liars or blind.

Se7en words I say the most:
1. bloody hell. fav phrase at the moment. use more than 10 times in a day
2. what??
3. fuck
4. shit
5. whatever
6. hello..?
7. fine..!

Se7en celeb crushes:
1. orlando bloom
2. brad pitt
3. kelly brooks
4. bernard chandran
5. harry potter
6. cate blanchett
7. j-lo

Se7en people I'll love to see doing this:
1. ellina
2. nadine
3. wirda
4. ct
5. huda
6. liza
7. abah (??)

have a nice weekend.

am so happy at the moment. got myself a new foundation. for those who dont know me, i dont like to wear anything on my face, mainly because i prioritise on having a clean and blemish-free face, and that is hard to have with make-ups, where you have to clean your face very thoroughly everytime after using them. i know you can have make-ups and blemish-free face at the same time, but my face is kinda hard to jaga. those who were with me in taiping or kmys can remember my old face, with its blemish, uneven pigmentation and the thing that i hate most, pores. i had pores as big as nostrils i tell you. now that i finally found skincare products that suit my skin, dermalogica, it really improves my skin, tighten pores and moisturise really well. t.h.a.n.k.y.o.u.e.l.l.i.n.a you are truely my sifu hihi.

back to my new foundation. went to fenwick after class this afternoon with ellina, i was initially looking for an eyeliner, saja suke2 cari, not that i wear one, then suddenly ellina mentioned about the importance of having a good foundation. then i looked myself in the mirror, gosh i looked super dull. i didnt have anything on my face, just some lipstick that i wore this morning. i wear lipstick cos my lips are lebam, something that i got from my mum, and there was once when a friend thought i was a smoker for having a lebam, dark lips. me? smoke? it was a total insult cos i hate smoking so very much, both personally and professionally (am a medic student, i know what smoking can cause your body and your future baby and to those who surround you). that's why i never leave the house without having my lipstick on, even to the laundrette, i always have some lipstick on. cos i hate people to think i'm a smoker.

fine, again, back to my new foundation. my face was so dull when i looked myself in the mirror. i've tried some face powder and foundation from lancome in the past, they have a really good texture, but i'm so obsessed on having a blemish-free face + i'm not very rajin to clean my face very thoroughly every night, so i very seldomly use them. then ellina mentioned about bobbi brown. i know they are very very good product. you see, i dont want to put make-ups to look pretty, but i dont want to look ugly. there is a definite difference between those two if you think hard enough.

so we went to bobbi brown in fenwick. the girl who did my face was so nice. i didnt even got her name, well, it is her job to treat customers nicely, but i like those who treat me well. i told her i want a very light powder/foundation for my face that i can use every day. i told her i dont like make-ups but i dont want to be ugly. she tried several different tones on my skin, before finally decided that moisture rich foundation spf15 warm natural 4.5 suits me. before this i only went to lancome, clinique or prescriptive counters to try their products but this was my first time ever using bobbi brown product. it has a very large range of colour tones for various skin tones, and i was sure she chose the right tone for me as the tone totally dissappeared when it applied on my face. that's what ellina told me about finding the right tone of foundation.

the girl also put some other stuff on my face as well; concealer under my eyes and some anti-shine, they sell this together in a very cute small case, some blusher that also can be use as eye-shadows (2-in-1 very cute case), mascara, and something that i never heard before, a powder eye-liner.

muahaha. as you can see, i'm not very (very) good in make-ups, my sifu is ellina, of course. and of course every girl wants to look nice (in my case i dont want to look ugly without make-ups). i was very satisfied with the end result, i wish i can buy them all, but i'm trying not to be greedy, so i only bought the foundation. it costed me 24 quids. damn. but i am satisfied. i want a foundation, and i got a really really good one.

now i hope i can wear this thing every day. the thing with me right, i'm not very particular and rajin to improve my face. i do like seeing people in make-ups cos they look nice, but not for me. when i read wirda's blog, i wish i can be as keen as her in make-ups. in cleaning, toning and moisturising my skin, yes i'm keen on doing that, i spend some money to get the best skincare that suits my skin, but when it comes on make-ups, i do own them, but i dont use them. they are not my priority. same with perfumes. i never finish using them, big or small bottles, they are left unfinished or even unused. as long as i'm clean and not smelly, tidy and well-presented, then i am fine. i'm comfortable being in the middle, or like what i like to refer to as being in the middle of a bell shape normal distribution. not ugly, not pretty, just normal, biasa2 je.

fine, enough about me. just want to tell you that now i'm working and earning my own money, i dont feel guilty on spending it, especially on the leisure stuff like a 24 pounds foundation. in fact it feels good to spend my money for myself. ok ok enough got to sleep now. i got a free day tomoro and guess what i intend to do? work extra hour maa, get more money to buy leisure stuff for myself and feels good about it hihihihi

finally got some time to update this blog. sound as if i was so busy, actually i wasnt that busy, just got occupied with tasks and routines. i'm waiting for ellina now at the old library cluster, she wants me to take some pics of her at the king's walk near student union. you better be here in 1/2 an hour ellina, cos i got some lectures in 50 minutes time.

weekend was full. saturday i attended a wedding of an old friend, she was my flatmates during my 1st and 2 years. it was the my first non-malay wedding. she got married in a church, sweet and simple. wish siaw yien and eric the very best in life.

after that me and ellina rushed to bella grove for malaysian soc's agm. we arrived an hour late, but it was good to see some familiar faces. the meeting finished at 3ish, and we rushed home to prepare ourselves for the night outing. me, ellina, ct, yus and nadine planned to buka posa at a mongolian restaurant near quayside. it's a nice, posh place, in my opinion, and kinda expensive too. takpe la, sesekali. they have chinese and mongolian buffet, and they said the chicken and beef part are halal. nice! imagine having chicken lemon, black pepper beef and all kind of chinese cooking food, best giler! and the mongolian buffet serves lots, lots and lots of seafood, big prawns, mussles, sotong, and they even got shark steak! i never taste any shark steak before. best gile. makan byk gile. it's worth the 13.50 pounds i paid. maybe i cant go every month, again, se-sekali boleh la ;)


me with the lawa-est girl in my life. think i puji her like 10 times that night hihi so beautiful. can drool over her anytime hihi jgn mare cik ct just kidding. we were standing at the hall, waiting for the guys, nadine and yus to prepare themselves (gile lame bersiap kalahkan pompuan betul). can see me with my new coat, and my curls, susah woo nk curl rambut besar2. took me 1hr ++ to do that hair.

and on sunday i decided to invite some new students to buka posa at my house. so, i spent the whole day, i mean, the whole day, cooking. usually ellina is my toyol, i.e. she does the potong2 basic nits and bits, but she wasnt feeling very well that day, + she got lots of coursework to do, so i cooked alone. started cooking at half 11, til half 5! i made nasi ayam, kuew teow goreng and kek pisang for 12 people. i used to cook for many people in the past, but i never cook alone, from scratch. i always have someone to help me. so this was my 1st experience. and you know what? i'm so loving it! cooking is my passion. i simply love to cook. just give me enough time, i can cook. and all 12 people came. i like this year's freshers. they seem like a bunch of nice people. mu'azzah came too, she and her sis treat me very well, and i treasure those who treat me well.

oklah, ellina's not here yet, maybe i should head to med school soon. still no news about my visa thingy, it's the 4th week now. cool elly, cool, dont panic. totally unsure about the trip back home this dec now. cant buy the ticket without the visa. and the flight ticket is getting more expensive each day. well, got something to cheer me up today, i got a raya card from my sis. it was nice of her. azali just posted some kuih raya to me yesterday, love you to bits! have a nice week, everyone :)

finally i managed to finish one of my many room projects. as you can see, the left frame hold pictures of my friends, here in newcastle, glasgow and malaysia. while the right frame are pictures of my family and azali. nice..


million memories..

i also bought a whiteboard that i longed to have last week. i'm not very organised, i cant even use an organiser, but i'm trying hard to organise my life, so what is better than a whiteboard to write on all my appointments, routines and tasks? nice..

i think the final stage of completing my room is over. i'm satisfied with my room, the furniture's arrangements and the decorations and accesories. the heater is now fully accesible for the upcoming of winter. the tv is exactly next to my bed. the study desk is in front of the window and next to the book shelf and next to my bed. neat..

it has been a busy and tiring week. was so happy and enthusiastic on playing badminton on wednesday. best! then the next day my body had to pay the price. then it got much worse on friday. my body ached like never before, it was much much worse compared to when i jogged. my right hip was the worst, i climbed up and down the stairs like an 80-year-old. my old fragile left shoulder that caused me lots of pain in the past was also affected. shanti was right. the 2nd day was the worst. it improved a lot on saturday. i went to work on saturday, did some extra hour work, to pay for my new coat.

yup, i bought a new coat. it's so beautiful. but still i felt so much guilty, i couldnt even sleep on the night after i bought that coat. the thing is, i already have lots, i mean, LOTS, of coats AND jackets. a few of black, dark cholcolate, light chocolate, cream, blue. knee length, halfway knee to thigh length, thigh length, waist length, belts and buckles, no belts and buckles. LOADS. the new coat is grey and it's military style. there are buckles at the neck and on each wrists. zips and buttons. it's super gorgeous. but it's pricey as well. it's not that i NEED a new coat to add to my 8+ existing coats. and 8+ jackets. i felt so guilty, but i'm in love as well. dilemma..

some random stuff to take my mind off that new coat:

the mandarin class is getting harder. there are homeworks as well. and i discovered my tongue can curl like i never thought it can.

finally F1 ends, at least for this season. woke up early this morning (6 o'clock!) to catch the final race in shanghai. renault won both the driver's and constructor's championship. although mclaren has the best driver AND cars, but they are not reliable. renault won because they have consistent performance, which is fundamental in the racing field. ferrari had a bad year and michael schumacher had the worst ever race in shanghai. there will be lots of changes next season, with the drivers shift to different teams, and 3 of the teams will no longer race. F1 is a good adrenaline sport that requires persistent accuracy and commitment, but it costs a lot. i hope next year will be a good year for F1, this year has seen lots of political and business involvement, F1 is a race of cars, so let it be a race of cars.

snooker season is back. good.

better off now. gonna upload all my coats and jackets pics at my fotopages. no, i'm not obsessed with my coats. my sister is going to china next month and it's gonna be super cold there, and she wants to borrow my coat for the trip, so i put pics of my coats in the net for her to view and choose which coat she wants. nice sister huh. i mean me tee hee hee

cant wait to play badminton tomoro! i've been waiting for this since last week when luke agreed to arrange a wednesday sport day for malaysian soc. hopefully there will be enough people turning up tomoro. badminton is the only sport that i play. i dont play volley, and i dont even know how many people in a team of netball. i started playing badminton since i was in standard 4, but only while i was in kmys i found a good playing partner to play it almost everyday.

there are 2 people who were responsible in getting me involve with this sport. liza, my badminton partner, and azali, well, my other half. i used to play badminton with liza consistently in kmys, and yes, she was a good partner. while, azali, on the other hand, never played badminton with me in kmys. he was the reason i first got involved with this sport. he used to play ping pong, and ping pong and badminton courts were at the same venue ie inside the multi-purpose hall in kmys. so, the reason i managed to drag my butt to go and play badminton almost every day was for me to see him. i liked to see and admire him from afar. hihi teenagers! things that we did to embarass ourselves :p

monday and tuesday are always, always busy. i mean, completely bz and tiring. monday's afternoon is always full, and i have my mandarin class that night too. cant complain much, the mandarin class is completely optional and unnecessary, and it was my choice to have it, so be it. 2 hours and a half of learning dozens of new words, new pronunciations that made my tongue curled like never before, and new characters to memorise. i know that learning a new language aint gonna be easy, so cant really complain much. i like the class and i think it is worth every single second and penny that i spend. went back home that night feeling super duper tired, got myself a pair of baggy eyes and slept like there is no tomoro. didnt even wake up for sahur. so, as predicted, i got super duper hungry and lethargic today.

today was another full day. finally my group got picked up for presentation. not that i like to, but every week we have to prepare a presentation for the whole batch and they will have like a draw to determine which 32 groups gonna present. i know we got to do it sooner or later, so better to get it over with asap. it wasnt great, but it wasnt bad either. discovered that dehydration makes you hard to pronounce words huh.

lucky i decided to pull out from the pilates class after realising that the mandarin class gonna take lots of my energy, and the fact that ellina changed her mind too on joining the class, and i dont want to attend alone. altho the mandarin class is just 2 and a half hour session every week, it's the mental consumption that takes lots of my energy. and who got to pay for my tiredness? my long suffering fiance. one thing i now know need to improve: never shout to your other half when you're tired. it's not good.

tomoro is my usual working day. the money is good, i just cant say no. fine. dont even try to argue with me. think i better sleep now if i want to wake up for sahur tonight. dammit, think i'm gonna get a cold. dammit, i have only 1 lemsip left. night..

kinda tired at the moment. no, i'm sleepy. stayed up after sahur this morning, to watch F1 live. it's japan's turn this weekend, and being in far east, it makes the live race at 5.20 this morning here in the uk. watched it til the end, and it was all worth every single second. it was one of the best race ever EVER!! seriously. got some accidents, and lots, lots and LOTS of passing manoveures. alonso was good. but raikonen is the best! he started at the 17th grid after having a bad qualifying due to heavy rain, plus 10 place penalty due to an engine change, but he managed to drive his car superbly and passed fisichella at the last lap and won!! what a race, what a race.

stayed up til 8, got a few hours of sleep before heading to tesco to buy some groceries. a bit sleepy, but it just that i got this couple of vouchers that expire today. great. bought some food and lots of junk food an hour later before heading home and cooked for buka posa. murah rezeki plak today, super duper thanks to kak dila (mu'azzah's sis) for the tastiest seri muka ever! can still imagine the faces of ct, ellina and shanti when they had the seri muka. sedap gila. and..and.. our thoughts were with nadine who buka posa sorang2 at carlisle, and..and..for seri muka being one of his fav kuih. teeheehee

yesterday was spent re-arranging my room. again. dah bosan nk mati, dono what to do. it was time well spent. i like it.

well, that's it. seriously i got to sleep now. tomoro is another monday. gonna finish at half 8, after the mandarin class. guess i have to break the fast at the uni. nite...

cut my hair this morning. finally. it grew ridiculously long again and i had to tie my hair 24-7 and i knew i had to cut my hair. got myself some fringe, so that when i tie my hair next time, it wouldnt be that jendul.

i'm at med school at the moment. didnt have anything today actually, nothing compulsary. just had a talk about the new base unit application. another hassle. and in 2 hours time there will be group presentation, not my group, so it's not compulsary since we already did the case study the whole week. should i go home? and do what? bosan bosan. maybe i should call ellina. she might be bz. it surprised me when she told me that her timetable this year is busier than mine. i think it's true. well, she's 5th year archi, doing her second degree aka master, so expectedly she is busier than me. since bulan posa, cant go lunch with her.

talked to mama last nite. again, she is such a good conversationer. no surprise that most of my cousins like to talk to her. she's warm, and cool as well. she's stylish, neat, like to wear sport shoes, crazy of nike, plays good bowling and loves going to cinemas. i can tell her everything, from my first crush to personal stuff. but she's a bit panicky. but she's cool. i talked to azali too last night, havent talked to him properly for a week. he's alright. hope to see him soon.

not sure what else to write. havent got time to watch naruto anime, i downloaded the recent 5 series. i have time, but i want to spend good quality time watching stuff that i like. ok, think i'll go to library. if i can stand being there for 1 and a half hour, i'll go to the 3 o'clock presentation. if not, i'll be on my bed, enjoying 5 series of naruto. have a nice weekend ;)

penat penat penat

oh ye, selamat berpuasa. here in the uk we started fasting since tuesday, a day earlier than malaysia. like what ellina said, kat cni cloudy semacam pun nampak anak bulan seh.. anyway, this year's puasa is slightly different compared to the past 5 years i'm here. we used to break our fast as early as half 3 in the afternoon due to winter time when the sun sets early, plus the winter time change. but this year, for the first time, ramadhan comes in early october, and the winter time change only take place at the end of october, which means that we dont have early buka posa. this year's ramadhan maghrib is around half 6. rase cam malaysia weh hehe. i know i know i shouldnt complain, but heck, with the 4th year classes are filled with gaps and finished early almost every day, one cannot help but to whinge a little hehe.

mari belajar mandarin. it was a very interesting class indeed. mandarin has 5 tones and the meaning of each word differs in different tone. for example, ma means mother, as well as horse. and it doesnt have any kind of alphabet what so ever; it has characters, and there are 5000++ characters. dont think i want to know all 5000 characters huh. vocab of the week:

xie xie - thank you
bu ke chi - your welcome
huan ing - welcome
huan ing lai dao ing guan - welkam to england (heheh poyo poyo)
heng hau - very good
ta chia - everybody
nu er - daughter
er zi - son
tui pu chi - sorry/excuse me
ching wu ern - excuse me, followed with question
peng iao - friend
xien sheng - husband/mr
tai tai - wife
di di - younger bro
ge ge - older bro (cool... didi and gege hehe)
mei mei - younger sis
jie jie - older sis

cukup aa tuh. wish i could demostrate my writing skill here hehe

enough with mandarin. today i work as usual. the workload was enormous! 6 hours of total concentration, no break what so ever (pekerja contoh ni huh hehe but i do take my job very seriously), yet i couldnt finish it all. sigh. the secretary who i share my office with even said not to push myself too hard, obviously the workload was too much for me to handle it alone. i was a bit frustated, i like to finish the work i started. she said that doesnt always happen in the real world. people like me tend to bring work to home, and that is not good. work will always come, and i'm paid by the hour, and i should take at least 1/2 hour break for a 6 hour work. dono la, maybe i'm not used to do paid work. all i know is that i want my rezeki to be halal, that's all. tak mo makan gaji buta.

ok, gtg. gonna watch Lost now in channel 4. tomoro's timetable is a bit full. c ya :)

such a busy day. well, self-induced bz day actually. cant wait for my first language class. well, not actually my first ever language class, but i have always wanted to learn chinese and here i am, taking chinese language class!

yup, i enrolled into the class, and it is going to start in an hour time. it is a 8-week course, 2 and a half hour session each week, every monday night. it is one of my aim in life to learn chinese and japanese. they have japanese class as well, but i dont want to have extra-ordinarily packed life, with my part-time work every wednesday and pilates class every tuesday night. yup, i enrolled into pilates class as well! only one hour session each week. bz bz bz. i told you right, i function best if i keep myself occupied. now that i'm a member at the uni sport centre, i plan to play consistent badminton as well. dont think i want to join the badminton society at the uni, i dont want to pay the soc fees of 12 pounds, plus i dont know anyone there, but i do like the idea of having a T-shirt with the badminton soc name in front hehe.

so, what happened last week? basically still catching up with ellina, there are always topics for us to discuss and gossip about, went to royal quay, metro centre and ikea in one day and felt our feet numb for walking non-stop, attended my first ever political meeting, cooked mee kari, and of course, bought one or 2 or more or even more (hehe) new stuff. and yeah, nad was back for the weekend and irene too, who came all the way from leicester (do i spell this right?) to spend her weekend in newcastle.

still no news about the visa. they said 70% of applications will be processed within 3 weeks. and i only posted mine last week, so no worry here. but i heard various stories about this visa thingy, so i cant help myself but to worry about it. plus i am not very lucky lately, so anything can happen, right? please please please let it be ok, cos i need it so that i can go back home this christmas. yup, my family begged me to come home this christmas. they never beg me to come home before, never ever, so i knew i have to go home this december, no matter what happens. maybe that's one of the reason i keep myself busy these days with various activities, to keep my mind off things and keep myself from being bored and buy more stuff because of being bored, got what i mean? so, basically, i cant buy the flight ticket until i receive my passport and visa back. plus it ached my heart hearing my mum begging me to come home and i couldnt do anything about it till i receive my visa back.

i know i promised myself to go to blackburn to visit huda when my mara thingy got sorted. well, it has all sorted now, but dont think i can go to see her now. the ticket is bloody expensive. 52 quids. 35 quids with a railcard, and i dont have one. coach? bloody 7-8 hours journey, and it costs 38 quids. tgklah huda, think i'll wait till my visa and flight ticket got sorted, then i'll go and visit you, ok?

ok, gtg. hope i'll enjoy this class. i dont know anyone, i know there will be 12 of us, i hope they are nice people. tomoro i got presentations and tutorial as well, yey, i got my busy and occupied life back la la la. have a productive week :)