rainy friday

4/15/2005 12:43:00 AM 0 Comments »
and today i..... ponteng. good for me, not good for the course. but hey, i got 3 different continuity patients to type up so i'm going to do some work + reading too. this week has been an exhausting one; went to alnwick twice and had to work on wednesday too and started my after-class library session + jogged. i hope to sort out my life and have a certain routine to keep myself busy and keep my mind off stupid and unnecessary things. all of these are good for my mind, but tire my body out. i'm not that fit huh, i still have sore thighs after went jogging last tuesday. need to keep fit need to keep fit. the weather has been nice nowadays (but certainly not today and yesterday, wonder why hmm) and i hope to jog at least twice a week (dream on) but it's all depends on the weather.

have i told you that i work on wednesday? i mean paid work. i thought i was jobless after the practice manager told the other girl who work with me that the surgery didnt have any more medical notes to be summarised thus no more work for us to do (aka the surgery dont want us). i thought the same applied to me but mama insisted me to call them, mainly to say thank you for having me for these past few months. i called them on tuesday and hey, they want me to continue working for them!?? they said i did a good job and worked harder compared to the other girl (see... money does motivate me muahaha but i do like the work) and that they offer a permanent post for me up to until i graduate (yup, they said that). i know it's just part time, but a permanent one. niceee... but they can only afford to pay me 6 hours a week and no more saturday session. that's fine with me, i can say 60% of the reason for me working is to fill up my time (the rest..money la dhoh) so now i'm kinda worried for the weekends. should i get a 2nd job? monyet said to put my study my priority, of course i do, but too much free time leave me with my pyjamas and not brushing my teeth all day. not good what... i can have all sunday for myself, but definitely need to fill saturday with something. volunteering work? interesting.. but it definitely cant fulfill the 40% reason of me working. to help human kind? hmm...(nah..muahha) fine i'll think about it.

what else to write? oh yeah.. i just notice that some friends dont like to be contacted. it's like 'oh fine i know you exist and that we used to be friends but at the moment let just stay as an acquaintance'. hmm.. fine. and i just happen to realise that i do that too! especially to my old friends, especially especially to dear old school friends. maaf ye. i know some of them are eager to keep in touch and even try to organise various gathering. and i believe those friends who dont like to be contacted will have their own reason, and i have mine too, i think.

it's hard to explain, no, it's not as hard as i think it is. i dont like and never will like my past old self and that all the things (or ppl) who remind me of myself in the past, i will try to avoid. i just hate it whenever i meet an old friend and that they say how much i have changed compared to my old self; how fair and smooth skin i have now (yeah..how dark, oily and blemished my face was back then), nice figure i have now (yeah.. me being fat, fat and fat back then), how matured i am now (yeah.. childish me who wrote stupid love letter 8 years ago to a stupid guy who refused to talk to me until now to 'prevent' me falling in 'love' again with him - mati pijak gajah aa nko) and how unbelievable for me to get a guy to remain committed to me (yeah.. me so damn ugly in the past it is impossible for me to get a guy to even look at me). and this one; how i've changed 360 degree from my old self, me not even wear a scarf now, hint hint maybe because of the oversea shock. fine. FINE.

hmm you must have known me inside out back then to be able to say that. whatever. i'm not going to produce any defence; i'm just too tired of being angry. to those old friends who prefer not to keep in touch, i totally understand you. you might have your own reason, and i totally respect that. and for those who think they are the person whom i refer to, think again, it might not be you and please jgn cepat terasa (dhoh, people cepat sgt terasa nowadays, 'oh it might be me, it might be me' and then ask me directly whether they are the person whom i refer to. like i'm gonna the honest dhoh muahahha