ignorance

11/17/2004 08:02:00 PM 8 Comments »
i have been reluctant to write this blog lately, as it was used by some people inappropriately. they read this blog and know about certain part of my life, and when they meet my actual frens, whether in newcastle, london or kl, they pretend that they know me and try to 'link' themselves to my frens in order to create topics of conversation. i dont like that, especially when these people are the people that i dont like. mind you, there is not that many people that i dont like in this world, so when i decide to not liking them, they must have done something serious and bad to me. out of these people, i can say i really really dont like (other word: hate) only 1 person, while the others are just some people who i dont really click, or such a k-poh, have bigger mouth that their head etc ie some of their character i dont like or prefer, eg the girl from my hosp group. and i dont actually hate these people, i just dont prefer them. but this 1 person, she really hurted me and betrayed my trust. i stood beside her for 2 years and trusted her, and i thought i was her friend, but she actually stabbed my back slowly without me realising it.

she made me promised not to tell anyone about her boyfren staying with her and she said she didnt do any sinful thing with him. and i trusted her. you see, i'm not the kind of person who bother much about what other people's doing, as long as it doesnt involve me. i dont care, and i really dont want to care, if she does something/anything with her bf, but please dont involve me into it. but she told me right in front of my face that she was not doing anything. fine. and eventually, somebody knew about them (it wasnt me, dono, somebody caught her doing 'suspicious' things in town/park, dono) and they asked me various questions about her and her bf, as she lives with me. and being a trustful friend, i told them what i thought was the truth. and i hate this. i dont like being org tgh. i dont like to get involve. i just like to mind my own business.

and honestly, i dont know the truth. i heard various romours about her and again, being a trustful friend, i ignored all these as i trusted her. but then action speaks louder than words. i didnt know what happened, i wasnt sure whether she changed into a different person or it was me who being blind all this time. someone caught her kissing in front of our flat's door and heard various 'suspicious' sounds from her room. i didnt hear it myself, so i didnt take this seriously. then she became so big headed. she accused several new students for something bad, like accused them for being berlagak for their richness (??) or trying to steal someone's bf etc. curiously, all of these victims of her are beautiful girls (hmm..). and she started to bully other girls as well like asking them to go student office, which is quite far, to pay for her flat rent. and she started to act weird as well. she started to go out with other guys, i mean 1 to 1 dates, and she told me it was entirely innocent and asked me to tell her current bf at that time that she wasnt home. in other words, she asked me to lie to her bf. hmm... i guess it was my fault too, cos i was being too ignorant. i hate lying, it is not a good thing, and being asked to lie for somebody else..i dont like it even more. fine, i did that for her, one, becos i trust her, second, i dont want to invite more questions or prolong conversation.

and she became weirder and weirder. and had an even bigger head. she acted as if the whole house was hers. lots of things happened and i dont want to sound childish here by mentioning every small details that happened. do you want to know when did i realise my foolness? it was when she, me and this new girl, s, who just came to uk for several month and lived with us, had a 'discussion'. she accused s for being berlagak, saying that s berlagak over brands and her richness. hmm..i lived with s as well and knew her and we went out sometimes too but how come i didnt realise this? hmm. this so called discussion took place in my room, as s, confused about the accussion, went to see her and me in my room. i remembered she sat on my bed, me on my bean bag, and s who couldnt stop crying and sat on the floor near the door. s kept on apologizing and crying, i started to feel sory for s, but she just sat firmly on the bed without a smile at all. at that time, it suddenly clicked. i said to myself 'hei, look at this, one girl crying and apologizing, and the other girl just sat on the bed with an ignorance face and continued saying bad things to the other girl and said 'FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I AM RICH', even a blind person knows who is right and who is being big headed'. i started to think and asked myself to stop being ignorant and blind. and thank god. i later become a very good friend with s and she is one of the most wonderful person that i ever knew.

and she become worse and worse. she broke up with her bf and coupled with the guy who she secretly dated at her bf's back. and this happened several times, with 4 different guys, can you believe that? like she secretly dated b at a's back, then dump a and coupled with b. then she secretly dated c at b's back, then dump b to be with c. then she secretly dated d at c's back, dump c to be with d. bizzarre wasnt it? well, i know some people are not that lucky in relationship, but if it's 4 boys in 4 years, that is no one's fault but hers. fine, fine, you might say i am jealous with her for having lots of secret admirer and i dont have that, but believe me, i dont. i really dont. although she once accused me, her trustful friend who stood by her all this time, for being jealous of her having all this attention from the boys, i really dont. i was heartbroken when she accused me for that. i thought i was her friend. and that all the things that i did for her, it was based on trust and friendship. she's a changed person. she keeps on telling other people about the 'true' meaning of friendship and trust, but when actually she doesnt know anything about it. she assumes being friends are when somebody will do ALL things for her, like carry her shopping bags, wash her pans and plates, lie for her and keep on agreeing with her, no matter whether she's right or wrong. for me, a friend is someone who will stand by you and will smack you hard if you do wrong things. a friend is someone who you would like to hear their news and whereabout. not just becos they have an apartment in london and that she can used it when she come to london. or not just becos they are less than you eg less pretty, have bigger body size etc so that you can feel better about yourself when you hang around with that friend. being friend is about honesty. like, if your friend want to terjun lombong, dont go and terjun too, that stupidity. advised her to not terjun, drag her if you must, or give her a hard smack at the back for being foolish to want to terjun lombong. being a friend is not all about agreeing what they said, it's about being with them and correct them over their stupidity. harsh, but that is what a friend is for

and you know what? her housemates move out of their house every year, not just that, but all of her ex housemates complained about the same thing. even a blind and deaf person knows who is wrong and who is right

after knowing this girl, and not liking, or more, hating her, and she keeps on telling other people that she and i are friends, that's annoying. i'm really annoyed of this, especially when she used this blog of mine to keep up to date about me and used it to tell other people that we are friends becos she knows this, this and this about me. fuck off bitch

8 comments:

Ellina said...

elloo...ellina here..hm..that does sounds soooo familiar..sad eh? selamat hari raya gurl..wishing you all the happiness in the world!

ellyz said...

muehehehehe
i am indeed cruel. only to the person who i dislike, of course

Liz said...

nicely written. i have ppl that I hate but I wish I can express it like the way you did. selamat hari raya trunx! hope it's not too late

Anonymous said...

elly.. nnt aku balik kene jumpe.. aku byk citer.. hehe
-muazzah-

Anonymous said...

That was seriously well written. It gives a clear cut explanation of why the person is hated. The person who is hated, should read this post! It is clearly a representation of what a cow you have been, and it is also a message to tell you that saying sorry, and pretending to be all forgetful is not acceptable. You are evil, for leaving a dent on other peoples hearts. Cos now, these people will always feel a pain, you've brought an experience to ppl that has taken a bit of their happiness away!

Anonymous said...

i don't know what's going on actually but from reading your blog, i think you've put yourself lower than anyone can be. reason being, 1. you've written about someone's private matters which some of them were insignificant to your life (since you said in your blog previously that you don't care about other people's lives in general) and what you've written were from your general point of view and she might have her on say but at least she didn't announce it to the world. she might done some mistakes to you and your friends but bear in mind that you and your friends might not be of any good towards her too, but at least she didn't put herself any lower than you are right now.

ellyz said...

Dear Mr/Miss Anonymous (bukan nak letak nama betul...),

Saper yg mkn cili, dia yg rase pedas...

Blogs were invented as a digital 'diary', a place for someone to pour his/her soul. Unless you're advertising the blog's existence to the whole world, it's meant to be read only by your friends.Memang la what I write is my point of view, it's my blog right? Kalau I tulis kat newspaper or blog org, lain la citer...There are things that matter to me, 'cause they happened in my life and affected my life.

Was I being evil? I didn't disrespect anyone's privacy, I didn't reveal any names although I hate this person enough to not give a damn. The only person who can possibly be offended is the person herself, and once again, I say I don't give a damn.

Anonymous said...

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