hatred.. and sorrow

1/27/2009 02:50:00 AM 0 Comments »

am blogging on the bed with hubby sitting next to me :) i almost forgot how fast broadband is, hubby just installed the broadband in his house. man it is fast! at my uni we use wifi, which is a bit faster than a dial-up that we used at home.

happy chinese new year hehe thanks to the uni i've got a week off. that's why i'm with hubby now :)

anyway, that is not the main reason i blog today. something bad, really really bad, unimaginable bad had happened recently. in fact, it was last friday when it all happened, while i was driving from kuantan to kl to meet hubby. the news was a bad and sad one, i cried non-stop that night, really grateful to have hubby to comfort me. the news was worse than death. if it involves death, almost all that is left for you to feel is sadness and sorrow. but this is not only sad, but mostly hatred. so much hatred involved. i still find it hard to believe it. everytime i wake up in morning, i keep on wondering if it was all a dream. but deep down, i know that it is bound to happen, sooner or later. if not today, it will still happen, maybe tomoro, or the day after, or next week or next year, it will still happen eventually. but i hate to admit that.

i know it is not wise for me to blog while i'm angry, so i shall stop here. there will be time for me to blog when i'm ready to write about it. one thing that i really want to say to him: has he ever thought that when he eventually died, which is not going to be that long afterall, will there be anyone there to mandikan his body? there is so much hatred in our heart now, i doubt if any of us will be there to sedekahkan you some yassin. i know i wont. that is how much i hate you.