5/18/2005 08:40:00 PM 0 Comments »
sgt penat.

at ulu hexham GH all day, finished at 6. good stuff tho. met this egyptian gynaecologist who was nasty at first and asked question like 'what is the normal volume of menstruation and how do we measure them?' and me was like 'huh?' but he was good tho, esp with the statistics. good teaching, but later on when he knew i'm from malaysia, he eased off but asked random questions like 'what do your father do as a living' and 'how about marriage and family after graduation' and me was like 'huh?' i made a conclusion that he's concern and friendly and not more than that.

i was pretty sure i can provide better answers if i got enuff sleep last night, as i did some reading b4 i went to bed. i only managed to sleep not more than 4 hours last night and as predicted today i was like a zombie, wide awake but blank in mind. i tried hard tho to concentrate, and now i have a headache. sakit kapala for trying hard to use some overtired brain cells.

i couldnt sleep last night because i was scared of the july exams. scared. cuak. panic. suffocated. ntah la, lately ni i wasnt feeling very well. i almost pengsan on sunday, twice, mmg rase the room spinning around. not sure what caused it. mentally, i'm very very worried of the july exam. my mind tends to drift a lot and then suddenly it felt really heavy and overload with emotions. pk byk sgt. that's my main problem. physically, i dont eat as much as i used to. rase malas nk makan, sometimes i even forgot to eat. time just past by and eating is not part of it. i just..forgot. tiap2 kali monyet tepon, die mesti tanye dah makan ke lom. bless him. he knows me lupe nk makan tu tanda tak bagus. camne nk makan..byk sgt dlm kepala. but now i do eat, paksa makan tu huh, nk telan pun kene paksa.

pk byk sgt. how aa to not to think too much? i think from good things to bad things, future stuff to past stuff, from career stuff, medicine, family, money to my cold toes. how do i take these stuff off my head?

anyway, since dah janji ngn monyet, i got to eat now. paksa telan gak. am very tired now, hopefully i manage to get some good sleep tonite (and some food in my throat). tomoro pun all day wards and clinics work. byk nyer kene baca. plus revision for july. takut gila. gila takut sampai rase nk muntah