owns heart

11/07/2009 07:25:00 AM 1 Comment »
this is something that i wrote sometime ago. i read and re-read it for time to time and each time, without fail, it makes me falling in love all over again to the same guy.

for the guy who owns my heart.

"It was late summer 2002. I had to return to the United Kingdom earlier than expected for I had to retake my exams. Never failed a single paper before, I was stressed and lonely, but most of my friends were still enjoying their summer holiday. Somehow I knew of someone who stayed over the summer. He and I had such a difficult and long history together. He was my ex, and I was the one who dumped him a year before, not before telling him that he was ugly and I was too embarrassed to be seen with him.

However I still needed a place to go after the exams. It was like a ritual for me to go somewhere, anywhere on the evening of the last paper. We had not contacted each other for some time. I apologised soon after we broke up, he accepted it, and we contacted each other about once a month. But now I was too tired and stressed to think about the past. I made up my mind, called him and told him I needed a place to go to take my mind off the exams. He accepted my request. As planned, I went to his place, a city called Coventry, on the evening of my last paper. We did not talk much and we tried to keep it as formal and superficial as possible. We spent the next day walking around his campus and again, we did not talk much. He was a quiet guy after all, and my mind was still occupied with the exams. The next day, he suggested a place for us to visit, it was in the Midlands, where Shakespeare used to live he said, and I agreed.

He said it would take us about an hour by bus to reach that place. I left it to him to find the bus and map, since it was his place anyway. So the next morning, we jumped on a double-decker bus, paid for the fares and the bus took off. Ten minutes later, he realised we got on the wrong bus that took a longer route but with the same destination. The driver later said that the journey would take about 3 hours. There was nothing we could do but to stay on the bus.

So we sat there on the front-most sits on the top of a double-decker bus. The bus went to several small villages, with various small cottages that looked so cute and cosy. It was a lovely late summer day, with all the leaves coloured greenish gold. The various colourful moors were breathtakingly beautiful. I was lost with the view, and he seemed to enjoy it as well. I looked at him then looked straight back again. ‘There sat a nice guy next to me’, I thought.

We arrived at Stanford upon Avon on early afternoon. The view was overwhelming. There was a lake which separated the famous Shakespeare’s Playhouse and the town. We sat by the lake and realised there were some pink swans swimming gracefully across the lake. We bought some food and shared them between us. We did not talk much and spent our time enjoying the view. We then went to the playhouse and walked around town.

We decided to go back a few hours later and took the right bus this time. The journey back was uneventful but I could not stop thinking about the nice guy. He used to be mine but I let him slipped away. I was cruel to him. The truth was that I found it hard to give my heart away and I was not ready for a relationship at all. Being such a kind-hearted guy, he did not deserve a girl like me.

The next day I went back to Newcastle. A month later he called and said he wanted to come to my place. We met and he, for the second time, opened up him heart again to the girl who broke his heart before. I went silent as I was not certain about my feelings. I knew that I really did not want to hurt him again. I closed my eyes and realised he was being honest and took a great risk of being hurt again, by the same girl. We had a long talk and decided to let time decide. He then went back to Coventry again.

I then carried on with my life but I could not forget our late summer trip. I could not stop thinking about him either. A week later I made up my mind and called him. He felt the same. Both of us agreed to take our relationship further, but this time, to do it slower but steadier. We visited each other at least once a month and became really close friends.

He was there when I was ill. He was there to cuddle me when I was lonely. He was there to hold my hand when I was down. He was there to weep my tears. He was there to listen whenever I need someone to talk to. He was there with red roses waiting for my arrival at the train station. How could I not fall in love with this guy?

When he put a ring onto my left wedding finger last year, he made me the happiest girl.

For the first time, I felt safe and protected. He touched my heart like no other. Just thinking of him makes me smile from the bottom of my heart. I love to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to take good care of him, until he is old and wrinkled. May our fate together last as long as we live."

now just let me gaze at the sky and daydream about the guy who stole my heart and owns it til now...


isyaNIA said...

damn! it's beautiful.
it's really really really beautiful.

moga kekal ke anak cucu. n bahagia selamanya. amin.