My World

apola.. balik2 je from cuti raya haji terus kene mc.. baik stay kat kl je huh

anyway, the story started like this..

woke up yesterday morning with an ache on my left eye. it was a bit swollen, with lots and lots of watery discharge. hubby said it was red. i thought it was some kind of allergy, cos i do have a strong family history of atopy, with me, my sister and both our parents suffer from eczema, my youngest bro has asthma, and all of my siblings have rhinitis.

anyway, back to the eye, i thought it was nothing to worry about so i continued yesterday's plan that was to drive back to my uni. the whole journey was uneventful, but then it started to affect my other eye. both were painful to touch, lots and lots of discharge, with red eyes and a bit swollen. it had more or less affected my driving, but nevertheless i reached my uni safe and sound, as usual. it was almost 10 at night when i reached my destination, i was so tired after the 7-hour something journey, but i did sensed that something was not right about the eyes. i decided to go to the a&e but then unfortunately it was full of people waiting for consultations (it's the hospital, what do you expect? haha). i asked the nurse at the triage and she said they were 27 patients on the list before me, queing to see the doctor. so i decided to go back to the hostel to rest and sleep and wait for the next morning to go to the student's clinic.

my eyes didnt improve the next morning but i continued attending classes as usual. then at lunch time hubby called and told me that his eyes were swollen and gone red, just like mine. aha! there and then i knew it was not an allergy, cos from what i know, hubby does not suffer from any allergy. he also said that he went to see a doctor during lunch time and was given 2-day mc and a few meds. so after i had my lunch i rushed to the student's clinic just to find that they were closed after 2 to 3 for their lunch time. so with nothing else to do i decided to come to my afternoon classes. after one lecture, a couple of my friends advised me to go to the student's clinic before it closed at 5 (not sure what is the exact time the clinic closes). so i skipped my final class, of course after asking for permission from the lecturer, and went to the student's clinic.

at the clinic, i was told that i wasnt supposed to go to any class in the fear of infecting the other students. i was given some antibotic eye drops and oitments. i was also been given 2-day mc. but what puzzle me is that how on earth that i get conjunctivitis at the first place? hubby obviously got it from me. i called my family and they said none of the family members currently suffer from any eye disease.

so anyway, here i am, stuck in my room, lucky my roomate is still in her semester break. kesian sgt to hubby who also suffers from this eye thingy, and from the mms that he sent just now, he got it pretty bad. abis muke merah, mata merah, mata bengkak much much worse than me. i wish i'm in kl with him now, so that we can both take care of each other huhu

i want my hubby huhu

i am one spoilt wife i tell you ahahhaha

internet soooo lambat. i thought when at least half of the uni students already left for their semester break, the internet connection would be faster due to lesser users.. well i dont know..

it's raining non-stop, starting 3 nights ago, i think. mmg sgt ler akan banjir..

soo sleepy right now.. but have to continue reading.. got to finish this chapter..6 more pages to go..

kenshin and kaoru, my turtles that is, have grown so much. in fact.. too much. they are now almost a palm's size. have to change their water at least once every other day. penat lah.. but i love their company.. cute (not so) little creatures they are..

will have weekend classes. kinda sucks huh. my weekend = my time. doesnt matter how i'm gonna spend it, but my weekend time is for me. mine and only mine. i will decide how i am going to spend it. weekend class suck big time huh

not enjoying current posting very much. enough said.

i think the nearer everyone is to the big, big exams aka the finals, all the stresses seem to come out. people start to show their true colours. will have to talk about it in my next blog. already got this headache, this typical headache that is like a siren in my head telling me to sleep. i'm really amaze in someone who seems able to not sleep at all for the whole night. tadaloo..

feel a bit lonely. dear roomate had just left for her semester break. yours truly? in my dream only huhu. my next one and only break would be the chinese new year break for a week next february.

also not looking forward for next week's long weekend for aidiladha. hubby wont be there :`( he'll be away for 2 weeks starting this wednesday. i know he is really looking forward for his first off-shore work commitment and that he's enjoying his current job, but at the same time i feel left behind :(. no more talking and listening to his voice every few hours :(

but i know as long as he's happy, then i should be happy too. and the wonderful surprise that he arranged for us last weekend when i drove down to kl to see him, had fully compensated for his absence during next week's aidiladha. thanks for the surprise sayang, it was quite unexpected. nonetheless, it made me misses him more :(((

okey! get yourself together elly! you have a life to live, and responsibilities to fulfill. time to do your (endless) tasks!

this is something that i wrote sometime ago. i read and re-read it for time to time and each time, without fail, it makes me falling in love all over again to the same guy.

for the guy who owns my heart.

"It was late summer 2002. I had to return to the United Kingdom earlier than expected for I had to retake my exams. Never failed a single paper before, I was stressed and lonely, but most of my friends were still enjoying their summer holiday. Somehow I knew of someone who stayed over the summer. He and I had such a difficult and long history together. He was my ex, and I was the one who dumped him a year before, not before telling him that he was ugly and I was too embarrassed to be seen with him.

However I still needed a place to go after the exams. It was like a ritual for me to go somewhere, anywhere on the evening of the last paper. We had not contacted each other for some time. I apologised soon after we broke up, he accepted it, and we contacted each other about once a month. But now I was too tired and stressed to think about the past. I made up my mind, called him and told him I needed a place to go to take my mind off the exams. He accepted my request. As planned, I went to his place, a city called Coventry, on the evening of my last paper. We did not talk much and we tried to keep it as formal and superficial as possible. We spent the next day walking around his campus and again, we did not talk much. He was a quiet guy after all, and my mind was still occupied with the exams. The next day, he suggested a place for us to visit, it was in the Midlands, where Shakespeare used to live he said, and I agreed.

He said it would take us about an hour by bus to reach that place. I left it to him to find the bus and map, since it was his place anyway. So the next morning, we jumped on a double-decker bus, paid for the fares and the bus took off. Ten minutes later, he realised we got on the wrong bus that took a longer route but with the same destination. The driver later said that the journey would take about 3 hours. There was nothing we could do but to stay on the bus.

So we sat there on the front-most sits on the top of a double-decker bus. The bus went to several small villages, with various small cottages that looked so cute and cosy. It was a lovely late summer day, with all the leaves coloured greenish gold. The various colourful moors were breathtakingly beautiful. I was lost with the view, and he seemed to enjoy it as well. I looked at him then looked straight back again. ‘There sat a nice guy next to me’, I thought.

We arrived at Stanford upon Avon on early afternoon. The view was overwhelming. There was a lake which separated the famous Shakespeare’s Playhouse and the town. We sat by the lake and realised there were some pink swans swimming gracefully across the lake. We bought some food and shared them between us. We did not talk much and spent our time enjoying the view. We then went to the playhouse and walked around town.

We decided to go back a few hours later and took the right bus this time. The journey back was uneventful but I could not stop thinking about the nice guy. He used to be mine but I let him slipped away. I was cruel to him. The truth was that I found it hard to give my heart away and I was not ready for a relationship at all. Being such a kind-hearted guy, he did not deserve a girl like me.

The next day I went back to Newcastle. A month later he called and said he wanted to come to my place. We met and he, for the second time, opened up him heart again to the girl who broke his heart before. I went silent as I was not certain about my feelings. I knew that I really did not want to hurt him again. I closed my eyes and realised he was being honest and took a great risk of being hurt again, by the same girl. We had a long talk and decided to let time decide. He then went back to Coventry again.

I then carried on with my life but I could not forget our late summer trip. I could not stop thinking about him either. A week later I made up my mind and called him. He felt the same. Both of us agreed to take our relationship further, but this time, to do it slower but steadier. We visited each other at least once a month and became really close friends.

He was there when I was ill. He was there to cuddle me when I was lonely. He was there to hold my hand when I was down. He was there to weep my tears. He was there to listen whenever I need someone to talk to. He was there with red roses waiting for my arrival at the train station. How could I not fall in love with this guy?

When he put a ring onto my left wedding finger last year, he made me the happiest girl.

For the first time, I felt safe and protected. He touched my heart like no other. Just thinking of him makes me smile from the bottom of my heart. I love to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to take good care of him, until he is old and wrinkled. May our fate together last as long as we live."

now just let me gaze at the sky and daydream about the guy who stole my heart and owns it til now...

it's raining cats and dogs for the last 3 days. sejuk brrrrr...

been moody for the whole week. mainly it was due to packed and tiring schedule over the last 2 weekends. if 2 weekends ago was spent celebrating our first anniversary at tasik belum, last weekend i drove all the way to cherating beach (that's 330km to be exact from my place, and that's just one-way!) and to come back again the next day! so so so tiring, and yup i did all the driving stuff. so when i started this week, my whole body was aching bad time. i was counting every second for the weekend, and now it has arrived! hehe happy weekend to me :D

nothing much happen, just typical busy days. love the new posting so far in spite of the fullness of the timetable. one thing i like the most about this posting is that most, if not all, of the lecturers are all good and kind lecturers. they are keen to teach, and most of them are very funny! what a delightful change. i just hope other lecturers in other postings can take examples from these very nice people.

finals are just a few months away. 21 weeks away to be exact! seems like ages away, but when you have lots and lots to cover, the best way is to start opening the old notes starting now. the other members in my group have started to talk about study groups and who covers this and that, it shivers me. but i know they are right, and there's nowhere to run but to face the inevitable path. but the main question that has been playing in my head is that should i join a study group as well? i've always been a solo revisioner (does this word exists haha), but it's the finals we are talking about so i'm willing to consider almost everything to pass my way through. i have never properly involved in a study group before, most of the time i quit not even half way through mainly because i didnt feel comfortable doing it, discussing and explaining and listening, to do it in a group, no matter how big or small the group is. i do have a problem being in a group, the bigger the worse, i just dont find it easy to talk and explain and discuss in a group.

besides that, even if i decide to join a study group, which study group should i join? i think that is a wrong question haha, the right one should be; which study group would want me to join them? haha funny you think, but that's SO a true question. i entered my current batch last year, when everyone else already been in the course for years and thus know each other quite well. as a result they already found friends and become rather close with each other. so when i came last year, joining the batch more than half-way through the course, i felt left out. the only people i know is my groupmates and maybe some students in my batch that i can only finger-count, and my roomate and ex-roomates and some of their friends. anyway i'm not complaining nor blaming anyone, the only person to blame is myself and my anti-socialness haha. but i guess that is me, i'm always comfortable to be a soloist, so the limited number of acquintances and friends are really not an issue here. but back to the big question, do i need to join a study group?

you know what, i think i'll assemble a revision schedule this weekend and see how it goes. what matters is that i should start my revision now and set my priorities right. i really want to make it through this time, no one wants it more than i do huh. i want to get through, so that i can start working and earning and doing my part to the society. i want to get through so that i can start living with my dearest hubby and build our dream home together. i want to get through so that i can have my little ones and start a family. i want to get through so that i can always be by my mother's side and take care of her. i want to get through, i need to get through. may Allah blesses me and my path, amin