My World

helo..selamat pagi.. it's half 1 in the morning and i cant sleep. camne nak tido, dah tido ptg tadi sampai almost 2 hours.. alamatnye skrg tak leh tido la..

anyway, my christmas hols has officially started. had my last day of the term, in this year, yesterday. i managed to finish and hand-in my ethics essay yesterday as well. hope i pass. hope everything will go as planned, amin.

am going to barcelona tomoro. excited? i know i should, but awkwardly, i didnt feel anything. not sure why though. whenever i go for a trip in the past, i would always be super anxious, super excited, but this time, dunno, dont feel a thing. hmm let me think.. oh yeah.. all my trips in the past had involved me going back home, ie going back to malaysia, and of course i would be super happy and super eager to jump to a 12-hour flight to see my beloveds back home. and i just realised that i havent had any personal 'recreational' trip for quite some time. last time i went abroad other that to malaysia was to paris, and that was ages, AGES, ago. of course i go to glasgow every now and then to visit oja (in fact i'm going there again on the 27th of dec) but that doesnt involve a flight, to a new undiscovered country, like barcelona. so at the moment i'm not sure what i feel. should i feel excited? i think i should but there is still something missing. i have started packing, but that doesnt involve much, i am going for 4 days only, and i'm not bringing any extra presents or anything in my luggage, so packing this time only took 10 minutes. where else in the past i would pack as early as 3 to 4 months earlier whenever i go back to malaysia. hmm i have another 30 hours before my trip, hopefully my adrenaline has kicked in at that time..

picture time!

happy sunday everybody..

i once said that i hate sundays as it means the (long) weekdays are coming, but today is exceptional. i've had a long weekend, started on friday, and the best of all, i managed to do lots of work! i managed to finish my oh-so-horrible-but-i-dont-care-as-long-as-i-finished-it-ha-ha ethics essay, so that's good. and i managed to clean and clear my room. you cant believe how many things i have accumulated for the 6+ years i'm here, so it's that time of the year again when i need to clear my room or else i wouldnt have any space to do work. so i bought a few storage boxes from argos (9 in total) and spent about 6 hours clearing my room on friday night. and now my room is clear! and organised. and i like that :)

another 1 more week to go before the christmas break. exactly today next week, i'll be in barcelona la la la. we are going there for 4 days and oh boy i cant wait. i vow not to spend on anything unnecessary this week so that i'll have that extra money to spend in barcelona. i hope i'm not going crazy on the sight of mng and zara stores there (they are from barcelona you see). and we are going to one of the factory outlets as well! ha ha senyum sampai telinga. some people might want to go there for its beautiful sight, tasty food and interesting culture and of course i want it too but shopping is one of my main reason too. and of course i want to go there to spend some good time with my housemates. 5 more weekdays to go!

some news from home. kak lysa is officially engaged. they said the ceremony went well. they said kak lysa was fair and beautiful in her new peach mini kurung. they said the food was good. they said they would email me some photos soon. it was all 'they said' and i'm a bit annoyed. for not being there. even azali was there. well everyone was there. and i'm 101% certain that i wont be able to attend her wedding if it's in May. fine. FINE. there's nothing that i or anyone can do. lets just leave it there.

lapar la plak. it's too cold to leave the house. nak masak takde bahan. shall we have food delivery tonight, ellina? pizza ada, kebab ada, nasi beriani pun ada hehe

helo.. i'm back in newcastle already. back for good. no more weekend travels, no more 2 separate rooms. i'm back in newcastle. in my beloved room, with my beloved housemates. dah seminggu lebih dah, i didnt have time to update this blog, more towards malas than anything else hehe.

anyway, i'm in robinson library now. bloody 4 hours doing ethics essays. kepala wa sudah bengong. i never like ethics. not an ethical person anyway. got this 2500 words essay to finish by next friday. waaaa! i dont normally mind writing essays, providing they are interesting, like topics concerning MRI ka, old people ka, but ethics? someone please help me... i spent the last few days trying to do it, but i think i'm going no where. hopeless. am starting to think my ethics case is too week, but it's too late to change now. got 9 days to finish it all together, and that includes the editing, which always took me ages, so i think i have to stick to my case. my brain already tepu now after 4 hours in the library, i can only leave in about an hour cos dah janji with ellina to go home together. my brain cannot take any more ethics at the moment, so what else to do? updating my blog la heheh..

just worth mentioning here that i really enjoyed my time in whitehaven, especially. that surprises me, in a good way. there were 12 of us, and we bonded quite well as a group. the hospital is small, but adequate, and the hostel is not bad either. if i were to apply for an HO job, i wouldnt mind applying there. which leads me to my next topic: i didnt apply. meaning that i'm going straight home next summer. happy? of course i'm happy. but i cant be super happy. still got my exams before that (shudders...). so why was i not applying? i'll tell you in my next entry, when i'm ready, cos right now i'm shitting my pants thinking of the finals..lets write something happy..

it's 11 days to go to barcelona! (it works!) weeee.. me going there soon :) but sadly, 2 of the gang cannot make it due to work commitment.. you let medicine eats you hah! but i'm still going with my most favouritest person in the world (you know who you are heh), hopefully she got her cuti tomoro. we will be there for 4 days, hopefully it's warmer there and have lots of sales! hehe i've been saving for a few months, both for barcelona and this year's boxing day sale, so hopefully i dont overspend in barcelona (yeah right..) so that i still have some spare cash for boxing day sale hehe.

a few good news and bad news from home. my sis-in-law is pregnant! everyone is so happy. my parents have been waiting for a grandchild for like, 5 years, i think, and now they're going to have it next mid july, hopefully. and the bad news is that week will also be my graduation week, so my parents couldnt come. which one would you prefer to be? in home waiting for the arrival of your first long-awaited cucu, or to fly 12 hours non-stop to attend the graduation of your daughter who has been stuck in her education for the last 7 years? i choose the former, to be honest. i wouldnt mind at all. i am indeed the black sheep of the family, and i'm not proud with that.

another good news from home is that my sister is getting engaged this saturday! I AM VERY HAPPY! and a little bit sad at the same time. i'm happy because she is my one and only sister and she has been a very good sister to me and i'm happy for her to found her happiness and someone to take care of her. and i'm sad cos i will not be there, as she has always be there for me.

i know not all people can understand it, but family has always been a sensitive issue to me. i HATE it when there are events at home which i cannot join, well i have been away for 7 years, and i miss lots and lots of things. from everyone's birthdays, and holidays, and moving to new house, and jiman's engagement, to iwan taking upsr, pmr and spm and receiving all the results without me being there, to mama's operation, and abah's super bloody stupid episodes, and now kak lysa's engagement? i'm almost at the end of my patience nowadays. i used to be sad, but now i am angry. for not being there. now all i can do is hoping for me to be able to attend my sister's wedding. it's one of my aim in life (yes, i do have many 'aims in life', nadine) is to be her bridesmaid, ie pengapit la. i have only one sister in this world and i want to be there on her happiest day.

enough already. you wouldnt understand.

what else to write? i'm in wansbeck hosp nowadays, which is about 40 minutes drive from newcastle. i'm getting a lift from friends living nearby, so that is good. another 1 week and a half before christmas hols. i got 3 weeks break, which i think is good. give me time to rest before hitting the accelerator again after new year. this last few days will be spent in finishing my ethics essay. this is good as i can be home more often thus i can call home (malaysia) more often (sory ct bill byk but i always pay my bill altho sometimes terlambat sket ye hihi). everyone's at home is busy preparing for kak lysa's engagement ceremony this saturday, so of course i would like to menyibuk! i wouldnt want to miss it. i call home, like, everyday, demanding to know the details of the preparation.

oklah, it's time to continue my essay again. i'll try to write more often, but sometimes i just dont feel like to write. good day everyone.

2 entries in a weekend? i must be in a good, very good mood then. nah. sunday would never make me in a good mood. am due to leave newcastle again this evening for whitehaven. it's 3 more weeks to go before i'm moving back to newcastle for good. 3 more weeks! damn i cant wait. i'm so not looking forward to the final rotation, and guess what, it's the least favourite rotation of mine...paediatrics. ba dibla.. it's a known fact that i hate children, and to spend the next 3 weeks with them, it's something that i most not looking forward to. waaa 3 more weeks to go!

but i'm still in an ok mood today. not too bad for a sunday-mood. i had made several calls back home, talked to my beloved for ages, and he was in a good mood, so that makes me a good mood as well. i talked to mama for some time too, so that's good. as always, sunday tele sucks, so i got nothing else to do. weather's outside is cloudy, moody and an absolute grey, so i aint going outside with that kind of weather. so i guess i'll be doing my blog today. finally i have some mood to write the things that i had done over the summer.

this is like a summary, more for the sake of my memory, i like to read it out again some time in the future especially when i'm sad and down.

i went back on the 9th of june, until 28th of august. that was 11 weeks or 12 weekends. i had 2 free weeks before that to wait for my 4th year result on the 7th, so i worked like hell on those 2 weeks and managed to bag quite an amount of money. it was sad to leave the place that i had worked for 2 years, they even threw me a mini farewell party, it was sad but i was happy; it showed their appreciation to my work. i got my final cheque on the 6th, my result on the 7th (wed) and the 8th was spent with all the nits and bits before leaving the UK. there were bills and rents to settle, i felt good to have saved enough money to pay the bills and rents for the 3 months i was in malaysia.

so on the 9th of june (fri) i left brighton grove at 4 in the morning to catch a flight to heathrow. then my flight to KLIA was at noon. i arrived at about 7-8 in the saturday morning and i had got myself a smiley monkey waiting for me at KLIA :D

so 1st weekend: arrived at KLIA. saturday at ampang with sayang and my family. got them lots and lots of presents. left ampang for kuantan with iwan. mama and abah had to stay in ampang for the latter had a meeting in KL for several weekdays. lucky i got iwan with me to stay in kuantan. started my elective placement in Poliklinik Masyarakat Jaya Jading, Kuantan that monday. was still on jetlag. went back to KL that friday.

2nd weekend: trip to singapore! with mama and kak lysa. mama shopped like hell there. puas hati sgt2. i bought kak lysa her first make-up for her birthday. she was very happy to have her bobby brown's foundation and compact powder. then mama pun angkut sekali haha. then i had to return to kuantan that sunday to continue my electives.

3rd weekend: kuching trip! with my sayang. i left kuantan for KL on thursday evening, and left KL for kuching on early friday. sayang was in a very good mood. didnt shop much but that didnt matter. we had such, such a good time. came back on monday, went straight back to kuantan to continue my electives. ayoo you can see i did lots and lots of travelling.

4th weekend: kelantan trip! i finished my electives in kuantan and continued my 2nd placement in HUSM kubang kerian. sayang was kindly enough to send me there. singgah sat at his family's house at machang for lunch before heading to kota bharu and HUSM. the uni hostel was full so they had me stayed at the nearby motel for several days. felt very lonely.

5th weekend: mt first free weekend. as if! i decided to experience kota bharu myself. left kubang kerian on friday afternoon for KB. i was very lucky to get a room in KB, cos apparently they are usually fully booked for weekends. jalan2 kota bharu. planned to go a bit further tapi tak berani plak, so stayed at the hotel until monday early morning, to continue my electives training in HUSM.

6th weekend: trip to machang. azali's family travelled to HUSM to pick me up. i planned to get the bus, but i didnt think they were convinced with me taking the public transport so they went to fetch me instead. it was my first time staying in their place, without azali with me. of course i was worried, but it went very well. they were very nice, especially his mother. went back to kubang kerian on sunday.

7th weekend: trip back to kuantan. finally i finished my electives. my parents and kak lysa drove to kelantan to get me. we stayed overnight in KB, and mama shopped again haha. singgah machang on our way back, and had lunch there. it was my family's first trip to azali family's house. azali's mum bekalkan me some durian and i liked that. arrived kuantan on sunday evening.

8th weekend: terengganu trip! it was abah's company annual family day. we stayed at the gorgeous awana kijal hotel and kak lysa and i got a luxurious executive suite all for ourselves! iwan and jiman couldnt join us, and they were very jealous when we told them about the hotel haha. i had my first mandi pantai for a long time. i also had a jawa massage at the hotel. good weekend!

9th weekend: started to get busy with jiman's wedding. kuantan-kl-kuantan-kl every 2 to 3 days. we live in kuantan, but most of the guests are in kl, plus mama couldnt get a good place in kuantan for the reception, plus jiman's then-fiancee lives in ampang too. it was the first wedding for our family, so there were lots of pressure and anxiety there. they finally decided to have it in dewan tabung haji a few months ago. i was busy travelling here and there to get the stuff i needed for the hantaran

10th weekend: still busy with the wedding. mama got panic attacks several times, while abah was as busy as ever with his work. which left me and kak lysa to sort out most of the things. jiman was a cool as a cucumber. seriously. i admire him so much. he's 24, has a stable job, got tons of savings, already bought a good car and house and is about to marry the love of his life. how he does it i dont know. nice lad

11th weekend: my birthday! azali and i had a very, very nice day. i had promised to spend the whole day with him, which i did, so he was in a very good mood. he asked me to dress nicely for dinner, which i did. i was very surprised for him to give such effort to dress very smartly himself for the occasion. i had the perfect birthday of all :)

12th weekend: this was it. my last weekend. jiman's nikah was on friday night (25th august), his wife's family reception was the next day (saturday), our dewan tabung haji's reception was on sunday, and my flight back to uk was on monday! such, such a tiring weekend. but it all went smooth and well. everybody liked the hantaran that i made hehe. lots and lots of guests turned up. i was soo tired that monday i couldnt remember who sent me to KLIA? i think it was my parents, cos azali had to host his family who came all from kelantan to attend my bro's wedding over the weekend.

i left KLIA on monday noon (28 august), registered at the uni on tuesday, went to carlisle on friday morning to start my rotation, stayed there for 6 weeks, then moved to whitehaven on the the 13th oct for another 6 weeks. now i cant wait for november 24th, where i can finally return to newcastle and have my usual and proper life here. i'm going to stay in newcastle after that, travel everyday to north tyneside hospital for 3 weeks, before the christmas hols which starts on the 16th of dec. and that is when everybody is looking forward to. we are off to barcelona on the 17th! me and my whole housemates! yup, i'll be going with my favouratest people in the whole world! barcelona! isnt life grand?

happy days... enough said

at my brother's wedding. got 1001 and more pics, but am too lazy to update my fotopages. can go to my sis in law's fotopages http://imelda.fotopages.com. she's cool, and she was surely looked pretty on her wedding day :)

pics above were taken at my family's reception at dewan tabung haji. my younger brother, yup he's 2 years younger but lots and lots more matured than me, got married on the 25th of August 2006, and our family's reception was on the 27th (sunday). it was a very, very busy day, lots and lots of people came, i had got myself some very special guests, ie azali's family. they came all over from kelantan tuu, and my family was honoured to have them, and it was of course my task to host them.

oh i miss those happy memories. i miss malaysia. i miss my family. i miss him very mostly..

ha ha ha kul 5am and why am i still awake? siapkan elective report ma.. wa wa wa it's my fault for procastinating ha ha ha

obviously one's mind ada sket tak betul at 5 o'clock in the morning..

la la la i got a new toy today la la la
best best best best best

i'm beginning to enjoy make-ups now la la la. hi hi hi i got a good sifu la la la you know who you are la la la

she introduced me to so many good things. most importantly she introduced me with dermalogica, and within a few months, no more blemishes and minimum pores! then she got me to know bobby brown, which has the perfect foundation! dia manusia paling best satu dunia tuk kuar shopping make-ups with! seriously.

my make-ups now:
foundation + concealer + lipstick = bobby brown
face powder = mac
eye-liner = rimmel
lipliner = lancome

and now i have those gorgeous benefit blusher + illuminator! best best

i got some other make-ups as well but these are my fav ones that i treasure most and i will bring them wherever i go.

ape lagi nak carik ha? hi hi hi

i dont wear mascara. dont like it as i tonyoh mata quite often gak la. i got a few eye-shadows, but i dont wear them that often. well, even the make-ups above pun tak pakai everyday, dont want to overdo myself when going to hosp. now pun make-up suka2 je, like mase weekends je or bile ade ape2 function.

ok time to bed!