My World

it's so much easier when you have your own laptop. i guess personal computers have become essential nowadays.

got nothing to write actually. am waiting for the download of the latest naruto's manga to finish. gosh. dial-up. what do you expect? well, better than nothing. bila lah abah nak psg streamyx nih. haha very funny i dont think that is possible. first, all of his children are grown-up and not staying at home anymore. the youngest, iwan, is at utp, perak. so the ones left at home are only my mum and dad. mama doesnt even know how to switch on a computer (i'm not saying this in a bad way, just stating out facts hehe), and abah is working most of the time and will not be at home. plus our nomad lifestyle, meaning it would only be a waste if we install streamyx at home.

gosh. i've really got nothing to write.

done something silly just now. just now abah was browsing between channels and i thought i saw 'f1 race day' on astrosports. i begged abah to switch back to that channel but he was adamant to stay at his favourite channel ie the golf channel. being tak puas hati, after saying 'fine' out loud, i decided to go online and check the result. punyalah puas browsing sane sini, then apsal lah result tak kuar2 lagi online? i thought the result should be quite instant. then after bebel2 for a while, iwan said to me, 'ntah tgh race kot', and i was like, 'huh?'. it turned out that he was right, and i was left tersengih2 sorang2 haha.

am very tempted to iwan's idea to go to any mamak place for it's wireless internet. it's the euro cup season you see, in fact there is a match right this moment between austria and croatia (like i care haha but i'm in the living room at the moment with the tv on).

oklah i give up. as you can see, i'm able to continue writing if i want to because i enjoy writing, but if i dont have a clear topic to write, the contents will be nonsense. i guess i'll be blogging more often since now i have my own laptop. cherio

after just 2 nights in kuantan, i'm back at ampang. until tuesday, that is. then i'll be kuantan for another few nights before coming back to ampang. our family's timetable can only be written in a week time in advance haha.

sudah tempah all of azali's baju melayu, plus songkok etc. am happy when a task is done.

cant wait for my kancil this wednesday!

so many things to write about!

but first let me take off this keyboard cover of my bro's white sony viao laptop.

isk. siap kene tanye whether my hands are clean or not. huh. sape suh beli white laptop. huh. leceh aa pakai keyboard cover. slow typing. huh. well i shouldnt complain since i'm using his laptop now!

by the way, i'm back in kuantan. but not for long! i'll be in ampang in 2 days time. talking about being nomads!

anyway, as i mention earlier, too many things to tell! but dont think i have enough time, and courage to write it all. first, it's now half one in the morning, and it's way past my usual bedtime. two, it's all quite personal and i've made a promise to myself to (try to) keep things to myself nowadays, so i'll just keep it as simple as possible.

i received an offer that i couldnt resist. it's almost too good to be true. and i'm going to accept it. but i'm scared. i'm scared of making mistakes again. someone told me that 90% of the time i made bad, wrong decisions. and this worsen my already low self-confidence and doubt any of my action and decision. but i know that being scared is also a prove that i'm just a human. but this time i have to make a quick but crucial decision. what shall i do? but whatever the decision will be, receiving the offer was such a great news and i thank the almighty for giving me a second chance.

then i was given 2 gifts in a week. a laptop and a car. life is good :)

by the way, this makes me think. why do i have to use this white dont-touch-this-laptop-unless-your-hand-is-clean if i already have my own? talking about being poyo haha

and i've tempah my baju for the wedding. to someone who i never thought i could (afford to) tempah my baju to. thanks mama :). well it wasnt my fault that i have to tempah my baju to this designer. the tailor that my sis and sis-in-law used to tempah for their wedding dress... had passed away. seems pelik, tapi benar. anyway, i think my dress is going to be fabulous hehe. it's going to be exactly like i want. i hope. i've never tempah any baju to this person before, but based on his displayed workmanship, he seems to be very capable to do what he's doing. and he's very charming as well, and mama was very taken by him that she wanted me to tempah my baju there and then.

and that night, i couldnt sleep until 5 am in the morning. gosh the adrenaline!

guess i've to go. i want to send a good, long emails to my two dearest friends in newcastle that i miss most, but guess that will have to wait. nad and ellina, i miss you guys the most :(

i'm back in kuantan. home sweet home! or more like, bed sweet bed! or room sweet room! cos i'm not sure anymore which is more home, ampang or kuantan. ampang becos i like it there being central to everything that i like ie civilisation, shopping complex and of course, my other half. kuantan becos my room is there, my clothes and all my possessions, but oh-so-far-away from civilisation haha.

anyway, i'll be back to ampang this weekend and plan to stay there for at least a week. got a job interview. in fact, 2 job interviews at the same place. it will be a good experience. one is an admin job, the other is a teaching post to teach pre-u college students. as i mention earlier, i'll go for the experience, i mean the 'interview' experience. but organic chemistry?? where is that damn book when i need it? my brain is so overloaded with biomedic stuff for god-know how many years, but i'm sure there is some chemistry somewhere in there. but organic chemistry?? better than electrochemistry i tell you, dont have a single clue what that means...

guess that's it for now. was quite sick last week, it was bad enough for me that i decided to drag my ass to see the docs (i hate seeing docs you see, dont ask me why haha). but i'm not complaining, especially since i lost some good 3kg since then! oh i feel a bit lighter hehe :D

finally i can sit down and relax a bit.

my bro jiman was discharged from ampang puteri hosp yesterday after spending 4 nights there. at the end it was dengue, as the doc predicted. thank god they gave him a week off work, so that he can rest and recover. now he's off to get some massage, and me stay at home with maisarah. i'm getting more attached to this child, she is so adorable, and cheeky as well, and i love her so much. but dont think i'm ready to have my own. noooo wayy. still got a lots of things to settle in my life. my complicated, tangled life. and i thank the almighty for that someone who is willingly to share my tears (and joy, eventually, i hope) and be part of my life and me be part of his life. ahaks! enough jiwang2 stuff, i'm really not good in this stuff hehe.

the big day is still a few months away, and being me, i like to do things early. at least i'm trying to. i know in the end it will still be kelam kabut haha. anyway the preparation has been alright, but i dont like it when people start to give advices when i didnt ask for any. i already know what i want, i really do, i've been engaged for nearly 4 years for god sake, of course i've got plenty of time to think of my dream wedding. but now people say i should do this and that, and should include this and that. stop it and buzz off! i'm not my sis nor my bro. and what's wrong with a simple wedding? 'oh no, you should include this and that becos it's the culture'. culture my ass! since when my family is into culture? i'm quite lenient right now to include a pelamin in my wedding becos it's my mum's wish, and i love and respect her enough to fulfill her wish. but it's the people other than my parents that are sibuk2 sangat. busy body! really really hate it when people start to butt in into my fucking business.

calm elly calm. this is not good for you. be calm.

you should be more open and at least ready to listen to any suggestion and advice. you dont have to accept them, just show more respect and listen.

think i should do that. more than one person told me that i'm stubborn. be calmer, and open, and less stubborn, and less defensive. the world doesnt evolve around me, you see.

calm calm

ok. think of that somebody, who has brought so much joy in your life.

*smile smile*

i'm going to see him this afternoon. HI HI HI.

ok, you can stop muntah hijau now haha. jiwang mode is SOO not me.

got to go. got to check on maisarah. she's sleeping now. oh yeah i got to mandi too. tara

i'm back in ampang. found it easy to solve and settle things. and i'm kinda busy at the moment.

first, preparation for the big day. finally! had bought a few things, like the laces, songket and of course the ring, and this weekend we are going to attend the compulsory kursus. enough said, just writing it make me smile from ear to ear!

second, my bro jiman has decided to fall ill while my parents and eldest sister are gone for umrah. talking about huge huge responsibility! he was admitted to ampang puteri hosp last night and my phone hasnt stopped ringing and receiving text messages since then. 'you are the ketua keluarga now and you will decide what you think would be the best for jiman and our family'. yikes! jiman has a fever since last week and the docs thought that maybe it is dengue. and the main concern at the moment is his blood result. his platelet level is dropping everyday altho physical wise he looks fine. last week in kuantan the docs there had given him some normal saline, and today he was given another 3 bottles of 500ml normal saline. he's not a confirmed dengue case, but the docs are puzzled with the platelet levels. and when i saw the whole blood result, his white blood cell count is dropping as well. this is quite worrying, but i know he is with the best of hands, altho i do hope mama and abah will return home soon!

so i'm helping out all i can. jiman's wife, meda, is the most tired of all. maisarah is just 10 months old and needs all the attention she can get, and she can be quite a handful sometimes, and now jiman is sick and stays at the hospital til god-know-when. luckily meda's parents live nearby and they are very helpful. plus ampang puteri hosp is just a stone throw away from our house, so that is making things easier as well. i can take care of maisarah and help with the house chores, and i'm glad they are here in ampang instead of kuantan.

anyway, i think this is enough for today. hope jiman will get well soon. and there goes the phone again, bet it's abah calling from mekah. bye!