My World

alang2 punah harapanku, biar ku punah kan segala harapan pengharap2 (straight, gay and bisexual) semua sekali muahaha gile evil. hensem nyer nko kimi...drooling ling ling ling ... awat hang kawen mude sesgt...

seb baik bini lawo wow. miss scandinavian 2000 tuh. they've been together since 2002 and got hitched on Aug 2004. bet his wife taller than him hik hik hik

nice, relaxing, calm sunday.

my face has stopped swollen, but the skin is shredding (yup, you read it right, it is shredding) for the 3rd times now. pelik? mmg pun. i'm not sure what went wrong, i eat the same food and do the same thing, nothing's new or weird. but i'm grateful it has stopped swollen, i now use boot's aqueous cream anytime, everytime i shower and put quite some amount of it on my face throughout the day. it's the simplest cream that you can get and i'm not sure what else to use if it doesnt help with my skin. and that the stress already over, i'll have a calm and hopefully organised weeks ahead of me, and hope that my skin goes alrite soon.

ellina and oja came over on friday nite and we talked and talked until 5am in the morning. i'm truly happy, they remind me of the old memories with the old self me, just hanging out with some old shopping partners, with some great late nite talks, with all the gossips and laughs and discussions and plans. i truly, utterly, honestly like them :)

later on saturday i went to odeon with ct and nadine to catch 'charlie and the chocolate factory' or otherwise infamously known in my house as the wanker hehe (cos the main character's name is willy wonka, hence the wanker hehe). it's a typical tim burton's movie, with the over-imaginery settings and costumes with his fav actor, johnny depp, looking at his weirdest but still looking pretty fit himself. i like the movie, it is exactly like what a children movie supposed to be, nobody got killed and that there's a good moral at the end (hint hint not like certain 'children' stories which kill more and more innocent people and the villain got stronger and stronger each book, but i still lluuuurrvvvvee them anyways haha)

i know i havent been honest to everyone, well, not that i'm not being honest, i just prefer not to discuss certain topics to anyone. i know that they are not anyone, they are some of the closest people in my life, but i like to face this journey alone without offending anyone. and i'm thankful to have a bunch of people who cares and supports me in any way they can, and again, thank you. i'll be fine, i know i'll be fine. to quote from a friend, 'it's just happen that our darkest time are while we're in the meds school, i know this will help us become stronger to face the uncertainty of the future'. and that's the words from a chronic bipolar friend of mine, and i'm pretty sure that the others have some beautiful words themselves.

think i better leave it there. just to end this blog with this month horoscope:

'This month, you should try to become more confident, dear Leo, and you should start with it no earlier than today. Believe in your abilities! You might have found out that the people you admire are to a large extend a mere reflection of yourself. You may be upset by this obvious fact, but if you start believing in yourself this month, you will be in on big surprises.'

cherio

such a gloomy day

my face is swollen especially around the eyes and mouth. they said i was allergic to something but i'm not sure what thing that can cause my face to be like this. it's now super dry, super itchy, red and hot. apo aa..nk senyum pun susah, takut kulit crack sbb kering sgt. have to bath and wash my face with the aqueous cream. i suspect it's eczema which got infected etc, cause i have a strong family history of eczema, but the doc insisted that it was due to an allergic reaction. anyway, i'm off work today. my employer doesnt mind, i can come to work anytime i want, as long as i work at least 6 hours per week. the rest is considered over-time and they'll pay me extra, on top of my fixed pay every month.

nothing much happen nowadays. nadine's off to calisle (pronounced ka-la-il) to start his houseman job. ct's in sunderland and yus, hm, he's all over the place. i'm working most of the days so the house is mostly empty on the day. ellina and oja are coming this weekend, that's something to look forward to, and i plan to make rendang for them. but ct and yus want nasi lemak plak. at the end i decide to cook rendang and nasi lemak + sambal ikan bilis. tapi nk nasi tomato. hmm. yus said rendang cannot be eaten with nasi tomato. but rendang with nasi lemak? hm..it's very clear now that i'm super bored and couldnt write anything else but food.

cant think of anything else to write. am kinda pissed off to the fact that i couldnt call mama, the phone reception at the new house is soo bad i couldnt reach her at all. nk tunggu telekom tu mesti at least 2-3 weeks. sayang is super good and super nice. and i really mean it. he's always there whenever, wherever i need him. cuma kekdg die agak blur + buat lawak bodoh inappropriately, but when he realises the seriousness of an issue, he can give the most valuable comments and advice. miss ya >__<

halo

finally my mood is better for me to jolt down a few words here.

my last paper was yesterday. it was alrite. and my 2nd last paper was the day before, it was horrible. it was beyond words. i was so very sad and down on thursday nite i thought of jumping the tyne bridge. no of course i didnt. it was the pain of working hard and then had to answer about some unheard syndromes. it was bloody hard, bloody painful, bloody sad. all i can do now is pray. i'm so not sure what will happen to me if i dont pass this exams, thinking of it makes me wondering what it would feel like to be 'inside' tyne river, so better not to go there. i appreciate no sympathy comments, if there is any, cos first, it's not my intention to get sympathy for writing this in my blog, second, i dont like sympathy nor assurance other than from those who actually marks the papers itself, thank you very much

bet there's some anger and frustation and moody stuff left huh

lets just leave that behind shall we

as soon as the final paper finished on friday, i met up with ct, yus and radzi at the odeon to watch the fantastic 4. altho my head ached, i enjoyed the movie as much as i enjoyed the company. everyone seems in a good mood nowadays. anyway, the movie was good and light, good for me who prefer light and easy and with predicted ending movie. movies nowadays have gone more complex each day, with hidden plots, like there's a twist every 2 seconds, plus the special effects that can make you 'waaahhhh' or 'nga nga nga'. fantastic 4 is a simple superhero movie, with good spandex costumes (hehe), easy and straight forward scripts and adequate special effects. good :)

today i was in an extremely good mood. sayang is in kuantan now to accompany sidek (think some of you might remember sidek from kmys..yup, that sidek) who gonna meminang a girl (zu, budak upm who did matriks at kmys. tak ingat? me neither) who happens to live in kuantan as well. sayang took this opportunity to visit my parents in their new house. yup, the house is finally ready and they have all moved into it last week. i like the fact that sayang is a thoughtful person. like, imagine if it was me, i wouldnt dare to go and stay (yup, he stays overnight at my parents' house) in my future-in-law's house without my fiance. dah tu sayang kamcing bebenor with my mum ('mama elly suke bercerita, saya suka dengar, best lah dgr die cerite'. me--->..err..for 2-3 hours?). well, i'm not complaining huh. think my parents like him too, i think becos sayang is a quiet person who listens well (thing that i like him the most) and like me, my parents dont like way too talkative person who talks rubbish.

so that brightens my day. woke up today feeling very lazy, but i decided to tidy up my room. and indeed i did. changed the bed sheets, tidied the book shelf and my notes, and hovered the whole room. finished it all with burning some teddy tales oil fragrant. nice. me like clean room. nice smell. hmm..didnt do much after that. nadine was nice enough to cook dinner for everyone (lepas me and ct pakse die hihi) and then we watched some tvs. lots of good movies in the tv tonite, we were spoilt of choices, but my heart went to the new (in the uk) tv series, 'House'.

it's a weird series, 'house' is for dr house, the main character of the series. he's, well, a doctor, who is unique (i would say, rude, sometimes) in his contact with his patients. he hates patients, but he's very good in making diagnosis (surprise surprise), he thinks outside the box, if you know what i mean. altho what he does is a typical job for doctors everyday (patient comes with symptoms, doc does history, examinations, investigations etc etc and comes out with a diagnosis or a different diagnosis at the end) and basically that's it. it's a very, very medical series (i'm very not sure how can a non-medical viewer enjoy this series, i can see that in yus's bored face) and i'm very impressed of myself for enjoying this series (me? i dont even like er).

anyway, think i wanna enjoy today and tomoro to the most, before, hopefully, starting to work at the gp surgery again on monday. i told the practice manager at the surgery that i'm not going home this summer and they agreed i can work extra days for them. i wont work for the whole 5 days, just about 3 days each week, hopefully that can give me some extra money. apparently the mara thingy hasnt settled yet, but i've done all that i need to do, but being mara, neither you nor i can change the way they work aka the delays. i'm pretty penniless at the moment but that wont stop me from enjoying this weekends (positive elly, positive)

think i want to read harry potter 6 after this. this time i want to read lines by lines, words by words. oh yeah, forgot to tell you that straight after my last blog entry (ie the night harry potter 6's been launched), i asked nadine, who went to que and buy the book at midnight in town, to buy a copy for me too. i know i know i shouldnt do that, but the thought of having 2 persons who live in the same house reading the latest harry potter book and me have to wait for a week? i so dont very think so. but of course at that time i had to skip lots of lines in order to finish it early (to continue my revision lor) and as a result i missed to realise most of the hints about the ending. the consequence of that? i cried like a (pathetic) baby for a few hours and who else to hear me mengadu? altho he hasnt read the book, and he's a harry potter fan as well, but sayang was willing to listen to all my crying, me cerita A to Z on what happen in the book. bless him. a good listener he was. a selfish fiancee i was. what to do, when a fiancee cries like hell, sape lagi nk pie ngadu? to her fiance lah hehe. nice bloke he is :)

ok ok i want to lay on my newly-changed-bedsheets bed now. might go to town tomoro. NO. tomoro is F1 day. THE F1 race day. mane leh pie mane2. have a nice weekends everyone!

ps/ woo hoo! naruto dah siap download! 4 series beb! wa puasa 4 minggu tu hihi

halo...

just finished my first paper this morning. hmm..

no one should ask me anything bout the paper k? like anyone would, but just in case..

anyway, it's been really hot in newcastle, except yesterday when it rained for a while and the sun seemed shy to reveal itself. today is alrite. not too hot, but still the sun is no where to be seen. and hmm.. why the hell am i writing about weather?

before terlupe, i got a very very bad news for ellina. yup, you. we found...SLUGS in the kitchen. 4 slugs so far, in 5 nites. besar bapak gila babi nyer. even bigger than my thumb. serious. and as usual, i performed my duty aka as a slug slayer and you know what yus said? 'ee i tak jenis bunuh-bunuh. tak baik huh bunuh' or something like that, siap buat muka2 sekali. not sure bout ct and nadine's views. wish you are here, ellina, i'm sure you'll back me up, or at least be at my side. he made me feel guilty about killing those horrible creatures. like i'm gonna care bout what he said. if tak bunuh, one day the same slug will return and beranak gile banyak. dah la my room is the only one downstairs. i'm determined to fulfill my task huh. and one more thing, it's not my intention to not picking up your call, but you always call me in the wrong time, mase aku mandi la, mase aku masak aa. do call me sometime key bebeh hihi

been a bit moody lately surprise surprise

and sayang hasnt helped either. think i shall call him monyet again. dah perangai cam monyet. got this satu minah cina sabah or sarawak yg macam minat kat die. stupid monyet told me the night before i took my exam. memang nk kene cili betul. i'm not blaming the girl, honestly, the blame is 110% on the guy. and i hate immature guys. everyone knows i hate childish guys. lagi mahu being childish. fine, you do what you want and i just refuse to care. dont call, dont text and do what you want k? bye!

what was that all about?..ignore..

think i deserve a short break today. think i shall continue my book 'the journey to the centre of the earth'. or shall i continue 'the da vinci code'? dua2 pun best gile. alamak, harry potter book will come out tonite! no! i know if i start that book, i just cant stop and lupe everything else, mandi, makan semua lupa. so the best solution is to not start on that book. safer to wait till next friday when i finish my exams. hope i'm patient enough to do that.

ngantuk sih. i'm supposed to start my psychiatry's cd with the laptop, tapi tgh buat pe skrg? update blog...pandai...

hope to write a short one.

nothing much. finished my class to have exams at the end this week. revision is alrite, but not good. not as good as i expected. the counselor told me not to expect too much of myself and takes things easily. a ha.

these past few days had not been the best of days. it wasnt bad; but it wasnt good either. but as usual, we cant have good day everyday, can we? it wasnt stressful, in fact it was moody. yup, i was moody in these past few days. lack of sleep and being a minor autistic (ha.ha.so.funny.not.laughing) i wasnt completely comfortable when there are crowds surrounding my life. let's just leave it there, shall we

got the long-awaited parcel from kak lysa this morning ye ye. it made my day. it contains some magazines that i love most..teka aa. nope, not mangas. nope ellina, not playboys, why would i want that magazine when i have my impian girl living upstairs? hehe just kidding jangan takut aa makcik bilik atas. i also received some kopoks, a vcd (sepet) and a t-shirt that kak lysa bought for me from hongkong. nice.

gtg. cya