2/15/2007 11:31:00 AM 0 Comments »
it's been a while since i last blogged here, there are so many things that happened, it's just that i dont feel like writing it here. and since my dear old sis has personally requested an update (no secret anymore huh that you DO read my blog rather religiously heh!), so here i am, trying to write a little bit of here and there about what has been happening in my life for the last few weeks.

today's thursday, and i'm at home. didnt have any class today, my colleagues are busy with their hospital job interviews, and since i didnt apply, i skipped all the hassle. i plan to spend the day studying, but that idea went straight to the bin since i didnt have any mood to open my book today. not so good eh, elly, since finals are just 105 (!!) days away. yup, i'm that sad person who keeps on counting the days to the finals.

ok, forget the finals (as if!) for a while and go back to my initial plan on what to write in this blog. ok, from the last entry, i spent early christmas hols in barcelona with my housemates. to see more pics, go to http://ellyazali.fotopages.com. then i went to glasgow for 3 days and stayed with oja, whose wedding is next week! good luck oja! my friends are getting married (and some have babies!) almost every weekend. anyway, glasgow was superb, as usual, and i managed to behave myself and did not buy anything unnecessary. haha which brings me to my next topic... the reason why i didnt buy anything in glasgow because i bought something unnecessary a week before i went to glasgow. it costs me a fortune (gagaga) and it made me feel guilty for spending that amount of money on a.... handbag. haha (*_*). but it's not a typical handbag you see (typical me.. trying to justify myself.. again), it's a superbag, seriously it IS a super bag (no..it cant fly, kak lysa). i've been wanting a super handbag all my life (seriously? seriously...) and finally i got one. i was over the moon, and was very very VERY happy indeed, but that didnt prevent me from feeling guilty, for spending that amount of money. how much? should i write it here? nah. if there is a request, i'll write it here later.

ok, ok back to plan. after glasgow, i had another week of hols before starting my final sem. and what a week it was. i had the foulest, WORST mood ever EVER. i blamed it on my pms, but never did i feel so angry and moody all my life. i felt like i want to shout to everyone, even to my own shadow (seriously). i felt like want to kill something, anything. i was in my baddest ever mood. i wasnt sure what reallly happen but it got to the nerves of people living near me too. i had the biggest ever EVER fight with azali and i really thought i would leave him (Allah bless his soul for having patience with a fiancee like me).

and it lasted longer that i expected. then something else happened. i started my final sem the second week of january and gosh suddenly everything went to a blur. i started to panic when they handed out our timetables and told us that finals were 150 days away. it wasnt just me, every final year students who were there went panicky as well. i went pale and silent the whole week, well that is how i cope with it. else where there were students who couldnt stop talking, some even hyperventilating, some were sweating. everyone was panic, and scared. including me.

and life after that was as busy as ever. go to hosp in the morning and come back late afternoon and revision at night until i go to bed at 11. i wouldnt write the details here, but right now i'm feeling better. but i do have those odd days when i feel scared and panic, and god knows how often will it be in the future. i'm really scared of the finals, i really really am, but who doesnt? i guess there are thousands of final year students out there who share the same feeling. i want to pass. i want to go home. i miss syawal for the last 7 years and i want to spend this year in malaysia. i miss everyone's birthday, i even gonna miss my one and only sister's wedding this may. but at least i know that everyone back home is eager to have me back. they are looking forward for my return and have various plans for me in malaysia. my wedding. my syawal. my house. my work. my driving lesson. everyone welcomes me back home. and i'm grateful for that.

so that's it. i'm off to hit some books now. i've got to pass. i want to pass. i want to go home to my loved ones. amin.