My World

Part 1: On the Outside
Name : Ellyana (ape punye nama ni..)
Date of Birth : 18 August 1980
Current Status : Engaged.. long distance relationship sucks!
Eye Colour : dark brown
Hair Colour : dark brown, i think
Righty or Lefty : right
Zodiac Sign :Leo

Part 2: On the Inside
Your Heritage : hidup jawa!
Your Fear : dying alone
Your Weakness: not a very motivated person
Your Perfect Pizza : lotsa cheese..

Part 3: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up : damn dah kul 7...
Your bedtime : 11pm on the weekdays and later in the weekend
Your most missed memory : seeing him smiling in the airport

Part 4: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke : Pepsi
McDees or Burger King : i dont eat burger
Single or Group Dates : single date
Adidas or Nike : tak kisah
Lipton Tea or Nestea : tak minum teh cik...kembung perut
Chocolate or Vanilla : Chocolate!!
Cappucino or Coffee : tak minum kopi, but i do drink decaf every now and then

Part 5: Do You…
Smoke : tak suke rokok..
Curse : sometimes, when i got really pissed off over something

Part 6: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol : i dont drink
Gone to the mall : hu uh
Been on stage : nope
Eaten sushi : yes! thank you Shanti
Dyed your hair : nope.

Part 7: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game : i wish hehe
Changed who you were to fit in : hu uh

Part 8 : Marrriage
Age you’re hoping to be married : tak ingat la plak bile. but i do hope to get babies before 32, so i guess it would be 31. but then i want 3 babies before 32, so in that case i need to get married by 29, if i plan to get pregnant every year, which i DONT, so i guess 27-28 should be ok

Part 9: In A Guy/Girl
Best Eye colour : blue! langsung takde harapan..
Hair colour : prefer black
Short or long hair : long if it's straight, and short if it's curly

Part 10: What Were You Doing?
1 minute ago : on the phone with ellina, pesan die beli chocolate cake on her way back heheh
1 hour ago : ate my dinner in my room and frust sbb tak dpt tgk naruto kat living room
1 month ago : hmm maybe tgk panic over the finals

Part 11: Finish The Sentence
I love : lazying on my bed with nothing to do and think about
I feel : scared for the test i'll be having tomoro!
I hate : being scared of the test i'll be having tomoro
I hide : my new handbag for feeling guilty for the price i paid for it!
I miss : home
I need : a big fat chocolate cake!

Part 12: Tag 5 People
wirda, nadine, liza, huda, mu'azzah

i've just received a very good news from home. i know i couldnt sleep tonite without letting it out first, that's just me, i cant hold too much excitement. i want to share it with somebody, but this good news hasnt been confirmed yet, so i dont want to spend other people's time by telling them something that is uncertain. i used to share any news with mr fiance, but for some time now, i dont know, i dont feel like sharing small, tidious things with him anymore. cos i dont think he appreciates it. i dont think that he doesnt care, he does care, but when you are with someone for such a long time, small, tidious things seem.. unimportant, and negligable. like yesterday when i had a bad day in the hospital and i called him, he didnt seem to want to listen. and i seemed not to care either that he wouldnt listen. is it me who doesnt care anymore? sigh, i dont want to have this question in my head again, i'm just not in that mood. i'm comfortable with our relationship now, he's there and i'm here, i believe we do care for each other genuinely and i do still want to spend the rest of my life with him. the rest would have to be on hold until i come back home for good, hopefully this june.

anyway, back to my good news (what's wrong with me nowadays? got distracted very easily..). the good news is.......... my mum gonna come and visit me this april, hopefully. HOPEFULLY! that's the best news of this year so far. but i dont want to jinx it. i really really hope she comes. she wanted to come and visit me since last year, but i was away in carlisle and whitehaven til november last year, then kak lysa couldnt accompany her and my dad would not allow my mum to travel alone (he couldnt accompany her himself because he is such a workaholic....). then my uncles (my mum's brothers) plan to come to the uk this april and ape lagi, my mum nak ikut la. my dad has already given his permission, so hopefully my uncles tu jadi la dtg uk... cos i want to see my mum!!!! waaaa please please jadi la die dtg... i want to see mama before my exams in june. please please please... semoga mama jadi dtg... i need her.... mama dtg la...amin...

penat penat. this week has been a full one. woke up at 7am and last night finished at 9 and all i want was food, food, food, then mandi, solat, and bed, bed, bed. today i finished slightly earlier at 6-ish and boy i am really tired. i guess that it will be like this til june. weekend is revision, revision, revision. memang lembik, lembik, lembik. and you know what? i dont mind. just recently i realised that i want to do medicine. finally! never would i thought in a million, zillion years that i would say that. i used to hate medicine so much it made me sick. i hate it so much when people speak bout medicine in front of me, you know, some over-enthusiastic people who were like, 'uu today i managed to do this and that, saw this and that, wahhhh'. go and get a grip la. if you like it so much, go and share it with other people but me la. then i realised it wasnt just medicine, i just dont like people who are over-enthusiastic. those who felt head-over-heal over something. like an obsession. so it can also be a job, a hobby, or even a person. like those who are like cinta nak mati, cinta gile bobeng with someone, and trying to prove that their love is the strongest among all. tolong la. berani kate berenang lautan api badibla badibla, and seriously, if betul la ade lautan api in front of you and your so-called loved one is on the other side, would you swim across it? no. NO. cos then you will die, like within 5 minutes after swimming in that kind of ocean. seriously. PIJAK DUNIA YG NYATA la wei.

anyway, back to my point (i got easily distracted nowadays.. blame in on the lack of sleep heheh), i finally realised that it wasnt medicine that i hate. i hate when someone trying to push me into something. like when someone who had watched a movie and said it was so damn good with this and that and said i should watch it. at this point, it would be like a complete turn-off to me. some says it's ego. maybe they are right. i am just too stubborn and selfish or whatever you want to say it to accept other people recommendation. i dont think i'm that bad, i can still accept people advise, just dont overdo it and make me feel as if i'm being pushed. and you know what? i think i do agree that i can be quite stubborn and selfish sometime, especially when people start to interfere with my life. like 'oh you should do this, you should do that' type of interference. like when people start saying to me how wonderful medicine is with this and that, and reckon that i should feel the same. like hell i wont. i think the keyword here is 'should'. no one can question things that i should and shouldnt do. ha ha ha back to my ego again. is it? i dont think it's 100% ego, but i might me wrong, but again, i dont think i have the biggest ego in the world. and my point is? i'm so sleepy i cant stop rumbling nonsense...hmm.. oh yeah my point is that i like medicine and i think i want to do this for the rest of my life. and it felt good when you know what you want to do. the end. good night.

happy weekend everyone ;) especially to those in malaysia who are having a long weekend indeed until tuesday for chinese new year. mane aci.. anyway, gong xi fa cai. wish i'm at malaysia right now to enjoy the long weekend with the company of many limau mandarin! yes i do have a bright red cheong sam and no i cannot wear it. it does not fit! waaa sudah put on weight.. do you realise how chubby i am these days? why aa? i notice lots of my friends, when they become older, the chubbier they become. why? some did not put on weight, but their face still become rounder. including me. why? why? so my advice to all young people out there, go and get a nice man and get married early before you get a much rounder and chubbier face. seriously!


muehehehe.. a pink stethoscope! muarharharhar

not only i got it cheaper online, they also provide free name engravement, plus free tendon hammer and torch! cool! and, and, i ordered it on friday and received it on saturday morning, complete with my name on the head of the stethoscope! super cool! muehehhe cant stop smiling. i couldnt choose the colour at first, they have many other colours! besides the typical black, navy blue, grey (like my old one), burgundy and dark green, they also have orange (yup, orange!), lilac (nice, but not my colour), rasberry, baby green, baby blue, ocean blue and purple! initially i wanted the orange one, becos my tournique is orange too, but then the baby pink one looks really lovely, and like what shanti said, it suits better with our clothes than the bright orange one (hmm never thought that one before..), plus the baby pink one looks really lovely (have i said that..jiii..hihi)

other random things that i want to write:
- mama bought me a blue sari from her trip to india! of course i plan to make a kurung from it, and i plan to have it as baju raya! yey dah ade baju raya! thank you mama!
- azali and i plan to get married after raya so that i can spend as many time with my family this raya without worrying about him and his family. thanks sayang! the only thing for me to do is to pass the june exam so that i can leave this country for good and spend syawal in malaysia.. shiver shiver..
- thanks shanti for the wonderful sushi last night. it was tasty, and i'm inspired to make some myself! not sure when tho..
- thanks ct for the useful website on pharmacology. like you said, it is easy to understand

got myself a cold right now. go away nasty cold! i cant concentrate on my revision since yesterday. dah abis separuh kotak tissue, lucky i got two of them. took 3 paracetamol-contained lemsip yesterday, guess i have to take some today as well. oklah nak pie mandi...

it's been a while since i last blogged here, there are so many things that happened, it's just that i dont feel like writing it here. and since my dear old sis has personally requested an update (no secret anymore huh that you DO read my blog rather religiously heh!), so here i am, trying to write a little bit of here and there about what has been happening in my life for the last few weeks.

today's thursday, and i'm at home. didnt have any class today, my colleagues are busy with their hospital job interviews, and since i didnt apply, i skipped all the hassle. i plan to spend the day studying, but that idea went straight to the bin since i didnt have any mood to open my book today. not so good eh, elly, since finals are just 105 (!!) days away. yup, i'm that sad person who keeps on counting the days to the finals.

ok, forget the finals (as if!) for a while and go back to my initial plan on what to write in this blog. ok, from the last entry, i spent early christmas hols in barcelona with my housemates. to see more pics, go to http://ellyazali.fotopages.com. then i went to glasgow for 3 days and stayed with oja, whose wedding is next week! good luck oja! my friends are getting married (and some have babies!) almost every weekend. anyway, glasgow was superb, as usual, and i managed to behave myself and did not buy anything unnecessary. haha which brings me to my next topic... the reason why i didnt buy anything in glasgow because i bought something unnecessary a week before i went to glasgow. it costs me a fortune (gagaga) and it made me feel guilty for spending that amount of money on a.... handbag. haha (*_*). but it's not a typical handbag you see (typical me.. trying to justify myself.. again), it's a superbag, seriously it IS a super bag (no..it cant fly, kak lysa). i've been wanting a super handbag all my life (seriously? seriously...) and finally i got one. i was over the moon, and was very very VERY happy indeed, but that didnt prevent me from feeling guilty, for spending that amount of money. how much? should i write it here? nah. if there is a request, i'll write it here later.

ok, ok back to plan. after glasgow, i had another week of hols before starting my final sem. and what a week it was. i had the foulest, WORST mood ever EVER. i blamed it on my pms, but never did i feel so angry and moody all my life. i felt like i want to shout to everyone, even to my own shadow (seriously). i felt like want to kill something, anything. i was in my baddest ever mood. i wasnt sure what reallly happen but it got to the nerves of people living near me too. i had the biggest ever EVER fight with azali and i really thought i would leave him (Allah bless his soul for having patience with a fiancee like me).

and it lasted longer that i expected. then something else happened. i started my final sem the second week of january and gosh suddenly everything went to a blur. i started to panic when they handed out our timetables and told us that finals were 150 days away. it wasnt just me, every final year students who were there went panicky as well. i went pale and silent the whole week, well that is how i cope with it. else where there were students who couldnt stop talking, some even hyperventilating, some were sweating. everyone was panic, and scared. including me.

and life after that was as busy as ever. go to hosp in the morning and come back late afternoon and revision at night until i go to bed at 11. i wouldnt write the details here, but right now i'm feeling better. but i do have those odd days when i feel scared and panic, and god knows how often will it be in the future. i'm really scared of the finals, i really really am, but who doesnt? i guess there are thousands of final year students out there who share the same feeling. i want to pass. i want to go home. i miss syawal for the last 7 years and i want to spend this year in malaysia. i miss everyone's birthday, i even gonna miss my one and only sister's wedding this may. but at least i know that everyone back home is eager to have me back. they are looking forward for my return and have various plans for me in malaysia. my wedding. my syawal. my house. my work. my driving lesson. everyone welcomes me back home. and i'm grateful for that.

so that's it. i'm off to hit some books now. i've got to pass. i want to pass. i want to go home to my loved ones. amin.