quick post

1/16/2009 09:00:00 AM 0 Comments »

it's true when someone told me that when you have the mood to write, but you were too busy to actually jolting it down. and when you have ample of free time to write, suddenly you were left staring at the paper with nothing to write. i'm now more conscious of my writing, it is definitely because i'm now taking a class on how to write properly. before this i tend to write whatever i want with nothing to worry about, but now there will be questions in my head whether i'm doing it in the right way.

anyway, it is the weekend, and i already have a list of things to do. so far, i managed to clean my room, did the laundry, the english homework. that's all hehe. i'll be visiting my inlaws this weekend too, so that's part of the list.

oklah, gtg. have to go to pasar malam. i love malaysia!

work and more work

1/13/2009 01:41:00 PM 0 Comments »

it has been raining all day. it is cold, outside and inside, and i'm currently wearing 2 jackets plus a blanket. i cannot do any work if i'm cold. and of course i'm having a cup of hot tea at this moment. wish i can stay under my duvey and lie on my bed..

my work is piling up everyday, despite doing work every single night. i hope to be able to catch up this weekend, i dont have any plan except doing as many work as possible. this afternoon i did my first bahasa malaysia essay for the last 12 years, gosh it was hard. i just hope i pass that class. i still hasnt even started the english essays. already finished the interview survey report just now, now i'm doing the case report which is due on thursday. lots and lots of revision to do, and this brain of mine is as tired and exhausted as it can be.

i dont think my effort to put on weight is going to be successful, yes i'm trying to gain some weight, but with all these work, which i dont think it will end, like, in a few years time, so i would have to apologise to hubby now. i was as much surprised as the rest of the world when hubby said i was thin and need to pile up some weight. i thought he was joking cos it is a well known fact that he likes to make jokes and i am not exactly thin nor small, but apparently he is serious about it. anyway, it was not that he asked me to put on weight, he just said i was a bit thin. i think i'm going to stay at this weight for some time, and hope not to lose some more, so i hope he doesnt put his hope too high then hehe

i had a nightmare last night, and it bothered me for the whole day. it wasnt a 'scary' type of nightmare, but it was scary enough for me. in that dream i had to pack and ready to return to the uk again. i was so disturbed by it, with all of the old feeling coming back to me, that i cried. i dont want to go there again, but in that dream, somehow i had to, so it made me so sad. i was glad to finally wake up and realised it was just a dream. no, i dont want to go anywhere but here, and i really hope i dont have to.

oklah, got to continue writing my case report. from my english writing class, i found out that every writer has their own style, it is unique to the writer, but it brings with it certain bad or good habits. obviously i want to improve my writing and i want to get rid of any bad habits. i think i know what they are, at least some of it, and i will try to improve it. good luck to me :)

lethargic

1/11/2009 10:34:00 AM 0 Comments »
hope it's not too late to wish HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone :)

new year resolution? hmm to work harder and even harder, to be more patient, and to be a good wife. cant think of anything else hmm..

i'm still tired from the weekend day-trip journey. i dont think i'll ever do it again. now i know the limitation of my body. i think i'm getting a fever, so i plan an early night. sigh.. too many things to do. finish one list and then come another list! i miss hubby huhu... need a cuddle huhu :(

crazy, crazy trip

1/10/2009 03:51:00 AM 0 Comments »

a few hours after i post the previous entry, my brother called and told me that his wife, my SIL still had not delivered yet. she had dilated 6cm but that was 5 hours ago. she was in such a pain and the doc had advised for a caesarean. my SIL was some what phobia of having a caesarean after having heard various 'horror' stories about it from her mother, sisters and relatives, so she was quite adamant not to have a caesarean. my brother was speechless and wasnt sure on how to advise her, but he remained as calm as possible and convinced that the doc was right. it was 1 o'clock in the morning with no one else accompanying them at the hospital. he asked me to talk to his wife and i quickly, calmly yet firmly, told her the possible consequences if the baby was left too long at the pelvic position and i asked her to set her niat right. 'do it for your baby' i told her. and i said that the doc, which is a consultant obstetrician, a friend of abah's, a dato' dr some more, must have thought of all the possibilities and thought that a caesarean would be the best choice for her and the baby. she sobbed and seemed a bit shaken. she is a strong person, with a strong mind, with what they called 'keras hati' and i can understand her fear of having a surgery.

then i waited and waited. how i wish i could be there for them. my brother had not told my parents the seriousness of the situation because he did not want to worry them. later i discovered that indeed they did not know the exact story, all they know was that SIL undergone an emergency caesarean and had a baby boy at 2.03am (thursday 8/1/09). anyway, i'm really really bersyukur that everything went well and both mother and baby are fine.

i was restless the next day (thursday). i wanted so bad to go back home and see the baby and most of all, to give my support. i want to see and hold the baby, this is a baby that has the closest blood relation to me. and i dont want it to be like his sister, maisarah, when i wasnt and couldnt even be there when she was born. but i know with all the list of things that i'm accupied to do this weekend, it was not possible for me to go back. or was it? i thought hard, really hard, and finally came out with an idea. a crazy one haha. it is a possible trip, without even compromising my tasks and responsibilities as a student.

first, i set out a proposal to my roomates and friends. 3 of them agreed. then the rest of the day i spent accomplishing as many tasks as possible. at 12 midnight, i finished half of the tasks (6 out of the 12 things on the list).

after less then 4 hours of sleep, i started my journey with 3 of my good friends. it was half 4 on the friday morning. it was a quiet trip, everyone was sleepy and the road was almost empty. i'm used with the road already and did not need a map. we stopped half-way at a petronas station for toilet stop and also to straighten my back and legs. the rest of the journey was uneventful.

we arrived at kuantan at about 10 o'clock in the morning. i dropped my 3 passengers at one of the malls and went straight to the hospital after that. how surprised my brother and SIL when they saw me! i was tired but i know the trip was worth to make when i saw SIL's face, and of course, baby harith's face. SIL was still exhausted, but like what i've said before , she is a strong woman and so was eager to recover and go back home. she told me her experience, and i was more than happy to listen. among my siblings, i am closest to this brother of mine, and i'm glad that his wife accepts me as a friend, and a sister as well. she said she cried non-stop when she knew that she had to go to surgery, she did not want to but it was brother who made the final decision. but she later became pasrah and set her niat to do it for her baby. later she said she was given a sedative to keep her calm. she was concious all the time and could feel when they took the baby out of her. she was so relieved when she heard the baby cried, and the doc told her it was a boy and showed the baby to her and said that the surgery went well. then she slept after that and the rest of the day too. it was half 3 of the thursday morning when she left the operation theatre.

initially i planned to stay at the hospital for a couple of hours and leave at 12, but then my brother said my SIL was to be discharged that afternoon (friday). so i stayed a bit more and helped them packing their stuff. then we left and arrived home (our parents' kuantan home) at 2.30. everyone at home was eager to see baby harith, especially maisarah, his elder sister. obviously she could not know that the baby is her new baby brother, she's just a year and a half, but it was nice see the first gathering of siblings. baby harith has the same mouth and nose as his sister, not sure about the eyes as he sleeps most, if not all, of the time. he is a beautiful baby, obviously i'm bias haha, as he is my first nephew. his hair is not as thick as maisarah's when she was first born. his skin was fair compared to maisarah's. and he is a big baby indeed, 3.75kg, if i compare it with all the other babies that i used to hold. so, welcome baby harith yusuf, to our family, where you will be loved and cared for the rest of your life, chewah hihi

anyway, it was half 3 already and i was so sleepy and tired. took a 20-minute short nap, then washed my face and ready for my return trip. left home at 4pm, picked up all the 3 girl passangers from the mall and left kuantan at 5. the trip back home was a difficult one. i was tired as hell but was determined to return to the hostels. the 3 girls chatted with me and accompanied me throughout the journey. it was my first night journey and it required all my concentration and skill to drive. half-way we stopped once at a petronas station, and i almost asked one of the girls to drive as i was too tired. but i knew they were tired too, and it was my car afterall, plus i'm the eldest among all, plus this was my trip afterall, so it was my responsibilities to make sure all of us to arrive safely to our hostel.

and so i drove and drove, the return journey always feel a lot longer compared it to the journey to go home. and so i drove and drove and FINALLY, arrive at our hostel at half 10 at night. gosh what a trip! about 800km of journey in 18 hours! i owed it to my viva la vida, my sweet little green car. without you, it was impossible to make this trip. also thanks for my 3 companions, for your companionship, hope you enjoy kuantan town, i know you all do, from the number of shopping plastic bags that you had with you on the return journey haha.

anyway, today's saturday and it is a good, not-too-sunny day. a perfect day to finish the rest of the lists. bring it on!

down

1/07/2009 02:39:00 PM 1 Comment »

as i'm writing this, SIL is delivering her second child. she went into the labour room about an hour ago and my bro informed me that she's now ready to labour. hope everything goes well...

wish i can drive back to kuantan tonite, right now, right at this moment. or at least tomoro morning. but i know i cant. i have loads, i mean, seriously, loads of stuff to do. these are the list of things that i'll be occupied doing this weekend (this also acts as a self-reminder to me):

1. oncall tomoro night. til midnight

2. list of topics i MUST cover thoroughly, i mean, from cover to cover, if not, i'll be dead meat by next week, DEAD serious. AR, ASD, HPT, M, D, ACS, UA, MI, HF, PHPT, PD, HD (due before sunday)

3. english class: draft of a short story. plot, character, setting, time, dialog etc (due on sunday)

4. english class: 600-700wrds essay of My Story (due in 2 weeks time)

5. english class: Interview survey + report (due on wednesday)

6. bahasa malaysia class (no kidding): homework (Latihan 2, mukasurat 55). (due on tuesday)

7. case report on a specially complicated case, at least 15 pages long (due next thursday)

8. my viva: need to go to perodua and order the 'fender' thingy and get it fixed (asap)

9. my viva: get it clean, seriously. do you how hard it is to find a car wash at this place? (asap)

10. pharmaco seminar notes (due before monday)

11. dermato seminar notes (due before wednesday)

12. returning library books (due tomoro)

anything else that i've missed?

see.. i've got loads, if not, tonnes of stuff to do. list 1-7 are essential, super important stuff that i cannot NOT do this weekend. so, logically, as my study always, always come first, i shouldnt go home this weekend. i'm adult enough to make a sensible decision, so that's it.

it sucks, i know. that's why i really need that fat, juicy secret recipe's chocolate brownies, like, now. i've had 2 of those already this week and i need more. and yeah, those ibuprofen too. helps everytime. this is life. full stop.

ho ho ho

1/06/2009 01:28:00 AM 0 Comments »

STRESS!

I'M ALL STRESSED OUT!

worked non-stop yesterday, had a few hours of sleep, then got scold some more this morning huhu too many things to do in a very short time! is it because i'm a slow worker? is it? tired like hell.. mind and body..

stress stress

.............................

got to get rid of all these stresses out of the system

calm down elly

need to clear my head

.........................

right. i need some happy thoughts

weekend is just a few days away. yey

chinese new year hols is less then 3 weeks away. yey yey

SIL already 1cm dilated yesterday, so most probably she will deliver today. triple yey! come out harith, everyone is waiting for you! hee hee hee a little voice inside my head telling me (and persuading me ever so softly haha) to drive back home, like, now. crazy! hee hee hee good idea tho. very, very tempting hi hi hi