tired and anxious

12/04/2005 07:57:00 PM 0 Comments »
i'm very tired, body and mind, but i couldnt sleep.

these past few days were weird. like last night, i was so tired, i could barely lift a finger and my eyes were completely closed, but i couldnt sleep until 4 in the morning. at 9 this morning, i was well awake, still tired but i couldnt sleep. and yeah, i'm still tired.

i admit i took some caffeinated coffee these past few days. i know i cant tolerate caffeine very much, it makes my anxiety and palpitation worse, but one needs caffeine to stay alert and focus, especially when exams are only half a week away. fine, i didnt take any caffeinated coffee today, so i hope tonight i can have a better sleep.

or, is it because i am rather anxious about the trip back home in 6 days time?

ellina has the answer and she is damn right.

when i am anxious and panicky, i can be a pain in the ass, right?

ellina too, has the answer and damn right, she is.

fine, sometimes i can be a REAL pain in the ass.

you people definitely DONT want to see me when i'm anxious. or when i got those psycho panic attacks. i even felt dizzy afterwards, more for feeling ashamed and stupid than anything else.

one of my new year resolution: be calmer, calmer and CALMER. relax elly, relax. think i need to buy some more camomile and lavender tea