My World

oh my god.

i think i have gone to hell and come back alive. barely alive.

enough with that. it's not something that i would like to remind myself all over again.

this time next week i'll be gone. for good. to home that is.

i'm not good with goodbyes, so i think i'll just leave.

not that i have any bestfriends who will miss me when i'm gone.

but overall, i have enjoyed myself here. for the past 2 years, here is where i called home. a place where i am welcomed to stay. for me, that is the most important. you wouldnt understand. because you would never be made as if you were unwanted in your own house, when no one talks to you the way they used to, when you made to feel as if your own flesh and blood would like to disown you if they could?

anyway, it's all in the past. i had my bits and now i'm scarred. i may forgive, but i cannot forget. i know they love me, and vice versa, but i cannot forget what they did. the scar's still there. and i'm a pitiful person who cant seem to forget her past.

so, by this time next week, i'll be home. my home. with hubby. he promised no matter what happen to me, no matter what, that his home will always be mine to stay and i'll always be welcomed in his. and i trust him.

so this is it. my last battle. my very last one. i put every single cards that i own on the table and i gave it my all. promised myself this battle would be my last one. i pray night and day for god to fulfill my wish, but if He says it isnt so, who am i to deny His final words. if it doesnt turn out like i plan, i'll have to start another journey. a different path. that is a promise.

so no more goodbyes, no more tears, no more heartaches, no more letdowns, no more frustation. i'll face the world with my head held high and be brave to face whatever come my way. i hope i'm strong enough to face it all.