My World

who would have thought that aqueous cream is not avaiblale here in malaysia? i had gone near and far to get those cream, all with no success. i'm still suffering from eczema unfortunately, although epidemiologically it is mainly a disease of childhood, and 50% will resolve by 12 years of age, and 75% by 16 years (this is to answer apis's questions too, sorry for the delay hehe hope your son is getting better now). for me, i'm the unfortunate 25% who still has this condition every now and then, which is worsen whenever i'm stressed. currently it affects my neck, its most favourite site of all, and it's been there for about month now. i do apply steroid cream, but with limited success. the neck is the most difficult site to get rid of eczema i tell you, based on my experience, especially now since i'm wearing a tudung on a permanent basis. no, i dont blame the tudung wearing, it had occured even before i start wearing a tudung. last time when i was so stressed out about the finals, the eczema was stuck there at the neck for 4 months.

anyway, back to my initial topic, i found it unbelievable when i could not get a tub of aqueous cream anywhere here in malaysia. even the small tube i will have to order it at the pharmacy. i dont want the small tube, like 15gm or 30gm ones, i want the 500gm tub one, that i can use it generously, and i even, more than once use it when i shower, that was when i got the whole body eczema, yup during that final exams too. here in malaysia, i had tried various other creams, like sebamed lotion, vaseline and rosken. the latter one was the most acceptable, but still not as moisterised as the aqueous cream. but since i cannot get the one i want, then i have to settle for the second best loh, ie the rosken. or maybe i can pesan my old friends who are still in the uk for them to bring back some tubs of aqueous cream when they come back to malaysia. hehe i'll send them emails later :D

another 4 weeks and a half before the term ends weeeee :). err.. on second thought, should a 29-year-old be looking forward for a cuti sekolah? i bet she should! hehehe. plan to spend it with hubby =D and to cook, kemas rumah, basuh baju, iron his clothes, make the bed etc. yeah i so looking forward for the semester break!

talking about hubby makes me miss him.. oh hubby...

anyway, one has to be tough. hehe.

ok, on a different note, someone jatuh longkang yesterday. me that is haha. ntah mcm mane boleh tak nampak longkang tu haha. got some minute abrasions on my right foot and it hurts when i walk, and luckily it didnt swell this morning.

oh yeah, i got my language exams this week. tomorrow is the english 'creative writing' exam ie the essay one. but the one i'm most worried about is the bahasa melayu exam one. do you know i got 56% on my trial bm paper? bloody hell! i'm so so worried for the bm paper that will take place this friday. how can i be so bad in bm? i got A1 for my bm spm huh. well... hmm.. that was 12 years ago haha. do you know how much bm has changed since then? like who ever have known that 'oleh kerana itu' is wrong, when it should be 'oleh sebab itu'? like, wth? pray to god i will pass this paper, i dont want to be the first malay, or the first student (!) in this campus to fail her bm paper huhu.

on the other hand, i enjoyed my english classes very much. it was a welcome change from my main course classes. we had a drama, where i was the scripwriter (my first time!), and then we had an impromptu, that is a spontaneous public speaking. that was from my english speaking class. in my creative writing class, i was required to write a short story, of any theme and storyline. this was my first short story, ie like a cerpen, and it was about a girl who lives in 2 different world. no, it's not like hannah montana, you silly, but it was magical and fantasy one. it was about a girl who was crippled by the recurrent attacks of seizure in one world, when she was loved and cared by her friends and families no matter what her conditions were. however, no one knew that whenever she had the seizures, she would be transported to a different world, called belagre, where there were the sanudras, who resembled human the most but not quite, and there were talking animals living as belagreans too. however, there was a war between the belagreans and the nearby country, led by rufaldi. the main character, alya, along with her companion 5-foot talking dog named alsalso, and her guardian, okada, the friendly, mighty ox, must fight along with the rest of belagreans against rufaldi's soldiers. alya was very strong and capable in the other world, thus making her prefer the belagre world more.

the story's climax was when the 2 worlds began to mix and merge, and alya had to choose one world. and the twist was that the whole story was supposed to make as if alya would prefer the belagre, where she was very capable and independent, than the earth, , when at the end she chose to stay on earth instead. however, at the last paragraph, when alya already decided to remain on earth and thought she would never return to belagre, she was suddenly transported back to belagre at her own will. she then realised that was when she finally found her unique power (forgot to mention to you that all belagreans had one unique power each, for example some can levitate, some can do magis etc, and alya had yet to discover hers until the end of the story) and that she could be either on earth or belagre, at her own will. the end.

HOWEVER, obviously i could not have written all of these in a 10-page, new roman time font 12, double spacing. that was the requirement of the short story essay, and it was supposed to be between 7 to 10 pages long. i wrote 13 pages long and it was no where near the halfway of the initial plot. my english teacher then told me that my problem was that i wrote too long as i had too many ideas. she said she asked for a short story, not a novel haha. yup, when i think about it, with that plot, i could have written a novel. finally, with great difficulties, i decided to change the plot. the new plot involved alya, after the latest severe seizure attack that left her almost paralysed, could not return to belagre anymore. then one day a visitor came to her house, and asked to see her. this tall, big man resembled someone so familiar to alya, although she could not figured it out. at the end it was okada, her guardian at belagre, after performing certain magic spells, came to earth in human form and came to bring her back to belagre. the end.

i know it was a lousy ending, but what can do, a short story IS a short story, not a novel haha. i was so inspired to be writer, i have always loved to write (and this blog is the prove! haha). then hubby said to me, 'dear, go and finish your study first, then you can consider becoming a writer ok'. thanks hubby for bringing me back to earth haha.

anyway, i think this entry is long enough so i better stop here. time to start working!

just came back from kuantan. actually didnt plan to go home this weekend, got tonnes of work to do, books to read, guidelines and protocol to study, plus got oncall on saturday full day, case presentation on sunday, then english exam on tuesday and bm exam on friday next week. but then something turned up at home that made me felt compelled to return home, plus i ever so miss dear maisarah, so i left my uni on wednesday afternoon. and then returned back to the uni a day earlier, for the reasons mentioned above. situation back home was expectedly bad, if not worse, actually to tell you the truth, i'm not sure whether it can get any worse, as more and more things occuring at almost on a weekly basis that i'm not surprised nor sad anymore. we are tired, i know i am tired, it's been dragging for about 5 years now and everyone wants to move on. i've given up on certain individuals in the past and it wasnt that hard for me, except that this time i actually care and love for this person so much that i found it very difficult to cut all the ties between us. i'm not sure about the rest of the family members, but i know all of these are difficult for them as well.

anyway, lets not talk about the sad and the bad. life do goes on, and it will be a waste to moan about the negative aspects of our lives. so lets just be a little bit more optimistic and more cheerful, shall we?

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i bought a new pair of glasses hehe. they were quite a different one than the previous glasses that i used to wear. mind you, i've been wearing glasses for, let me see, 21 years (oh my god, is it true? cant believe it.. but it is true, since i've been a full time spectacles' wearer since 8 years old) and i had tried all kinds of glasses, the round, the oval, the rectangular, the gold, black, silver, copper, red, blue, full frame, half frame, frameless and the list goes on. so this time i choose a different one. it's a rectangular frame (i found this frame shape suits best with my face hehe), plastic frame, a little bit bigger than my usual small frames, it is black in colour ie the rectagular part, but white in colour on the other parts. very interesting hehehe. and although it is a plastic frame, but it has nose pads, which is essential for me who owns a not-so-high nose bridge haha. anyway, that's the good part. the bad part was that they had to increase my power lens huhu, now both are 650, with the astig power of 200 on the right and 150 on the left. camane ni? i thought lens power should have been stabled as you go older. i dont want to get blind!

anyway, one should not jump to conclusions, as someone once advised me. think i should take care of my eyes a bit better now. i'll see what i can, and should, do for the sake of my eye sight huhu.

those who know me know how much i adore this little girl. my niece, maisarah, that is. i'm so fond of this girl, she is so adorable. sangat lah cutenya, very smart and cheeky too :). she's now a year and 9 months old and owns about 20 pairs of shoes and counting! hehe. and she knows where to point at when asked where is her mata, hidung, mulut, kaki, tangan, rambut, perut and telinga. now i'm teaching her to know what is jari and lutut. i dont mind to drive 5 hours just to see her smile, then salam me, kiss my cheeks and then hear her say out loud 'Nina!' (my name at home) hehe. i heart you maisarah!!

now i know my maternal feeling has finally come out haha

anyway, got to head bed soon. penat aa driving balik tadi. it didnt feel that much tired when i drove back to kuantan, cos i got to see maisarah at the end of that journey, but to drive back to the uni with not-a-thing to greet me huhu it tripled the tiredness haha. sayonara..

last night i finally watched twilight the movie. for some reason i can almost hear voices behind my back that would say 'huh? finally? you should have watched it ages ago!'. well, those who know me know that i dont like when people said to me 'oh you should watch this movie, it's so so good, i know you would enjoy it'. well, in this stubborn head of mine would say back 'err why? how would you know that i will definitely like this movie? who are you to tell me this? do you know me? well, you know what, i'm not going to watch it haha' as i hate being told what to do. and i dont think this is complicated, it is just pure stubbornness haha told you my insight is good haha.

anyway, i watched the movie last night and thought it was not so bad. i finally understand why girls all over the world would fell head over heels over that cullen boy, edward. he is undeniably gorgeous in that movie, although i think he is not so much outside the movie. however, i think his acting was a bit 'kayu' haha (i'm certain i can say that safely here without the fear of obsessed rob pattison's fans out there to kill me, cos i'm 100% certain no one watch that movie here at my local uni, who dont even know who obama is, so the chances of them knowing who is rob pattison is pretty pretty slim haha). anyway, back to the movie, it was definitely a romantic movie, with a easy-to-follow storyline, but for some reason i couldnt appreciate the movie. why? because that movie is so ever clearly for young teenagers, adolescent girls and i felt i'm kinda left that boat for quite some time ago, let me see, 10 years ago? haha. the movie and the books are clearly for a certain age of audience and readers, and i'm not within that age group. gosh i feel old.. but i think that is the reason why i seemed not to enjoy the movie in a way that i think i should, altho i agree that it is a good movie.

on the other hand, in harry potter books and movies (hehe here comes..), there is always some child spirit in everyone of us (including me! ;D) and that is why some adults enjoy it as well. where else in the twilight saga, everyone had gone though adolescent once in their lifetime, the adults i mean, and not everyone want to relive or to remember the past times again (that's me too haha). furthermore the storyline in the twilight saga (which i later read from wikipaedia haha) is so cliche, everyone got their happy ending etc, unlike in harry potter in which some character do die haha. and, this is the most annoying part, the twilight saga is about CINTA BUTA which i strongly disbelieve with. cinta buta sgt sampai nak jadi vampire? hello? like the one in the matrix (the 3rd and final movie) when that neo guy choose his love for this girl over the whole humanity? hello? no offence to hubby, cos i do love you so very much, but if it was left to me to decide between my personal love and the whole humanity of the world, du'oh, i would know what to choose in a blink of an eye. seriously! we're talking about logic here la weh. i'm sure hubby would decide the same too. and one more thing that i hate about the twilight is that main female character, bella. oh my god she is so lembik! take care of yourself la woman! seriously lemah betul. asyik nak kene selamatkan aje huh, mcm useless aje haha. at least hermione got her brain, sakura in naruto (finally) got her super strength sampai boleh pecahkan batu besar gaban, but this bella girl? i know la that edward guy is super duper gorgeous, but cant you just rely on yourself once in a while? and she is very stubborn too, everything must done according to her plan. marry first, then the sex, then becoming the vampire, and no one else can have their say. pastu dah la betray edward by kissing that werewolf jacob guy, then she even admitted that she was indeed in love with jacob, just that her love to edward was stronger. apekebende? mmg selfish betul haha. pastuh si jacob plak frust tak dpt bella, boleh pie 'book' anak edward and bella, renesmee yg baru lahir pulak? mmg agak pelik ka this storyline

overall, harry potter is still the best (:p ok come and kill me hehe). i'm not even tempted to buy the twilight saga books huh

i'm off to kl this week to see hubby :D yeyeyeye

it wasnt planned, since i last saw him was last weekend, but NEVERMIND hihihi. just found out that my timetable will be free starting from friday til tuesday. I KNOW! dah la jarang gile free, in fact since i came here, mmg tak pernah cuti lame like this (do you know i only got 4 weeks of holiday for the whole year? I KNOW! mcm org keje pulak, except that i'm unpaid la huhu. i think my sis who works for a semi-government company pun dpt cuti lagi byk from me huhu) and it's 5 days in a row, so ape lagi, balik kg la hehe. there's no way i'm gonna stay here over the long weekend break, boleh mati kebosanan sih. and since mama and the rest of my siblings are off to hongkong (yup, and they left me huhu) this weekend, so i'll go to kl la. NOT A PROBLEM AT ALL hehe cos hubby ada di situ HA HA HA

*happy mood**

nothing exciting happened so far, same old busy like hell life, work that doesnt seem like want to end, but i've decided to work hard and play hard, so after a few days of hard hard work, i drive back to kuantan and spend some good time with my loved ones, then drive 5 hours back to uni to face another week. i so love love love being close with my love ones, not too close that would suffocate me, but just enough distance so that whenever i need some emotional support and to 'neutralise' my head again, i can just go to them. and super super thank you to abah who gave me a car, it IS very handy i tell you haha

another 7 more weeks before the semester ends. how fast time flies! last year this time i was recovering from a fall (not literally haha) and this year i'm here, feeling content and complacent (am i being overly confident here? haha) and i wonder how am i going to be next year? hopefully i'll still be here, preparing for my final, amin.

oklah, got to finish a few things before i can rest my head on the pillow. have a nice weekend!

tried to blog a few times before but didnt have the mood to post the entry.

kinda stress at the moment, really want to drive back to kuantan and meet the family but dont think that is possible. suddenly all the datelines for assigments, tests, assessments all been brought earlier, and that pisses me off, as well as really stresses me out. i cant deal with too many things in my hand (and head) at one time, or else i'll be too stressed out and start to panic and become tearful and then gone blank and refuse to do anything at all. thank god there is dearest hubby, although he is like about 500km away, but at least he's not like 11 000km away, right? plus he is coming over to my place this weekend, and that is such a comforting thought to have right now. my mind is not at its normal state at the moment, and i need him more than anything else now.

anyway, i've decided to jot down a few things in this blog in an attempt to clear my mind off a bit. dont think this will take much of my time anyway. plus it's like a therapy for me, like its first and foremost purpose of existance. anyway, i've been quite busy so far, as you can read from my previous paragraph. got to this and that, all at the same time. then my health has not been perfect as well. i just caught a cold somehow, i tried not to take any medication, but the runny nose was so bad this morning, i just had to take some. and that made me kinda sleepy and dizzy.

anyway, in my last entry, i was so eager to go to bali. but before that, something happened to me that almost ruined the holiday. it was partly my fault, actually i've got no one to blame but myself. a week before the trip, i had a facial, courtesy of hubby. yup, i managed to pujuk him to pay for my facial hehe. anyway, i did the facial, my regular facial, at my regular place, done by the regular salon worker etc basically nothing change. but the next day, my face was swollen, it looked like i got some kind of allergic reaction. it was not just swollen and become red like tomato (seriously.. it was so swollen i could hardly open my eyes huhu but luckily it was localised and i had no difficulty in breathing whatsoever), but some part of my face got blisters, it was as if it was burnt. a burn on my face, just a week before my honeymoon? i was numb and speechless, i couldnt think anymore. i just wanted my face to heal so that i can look better on my honeymoon huhu.

to cut the story short, it eventually healed, but not before i experienced some pain. the blisters erupted a few days later, but then turned to dry skin, yang mcm berkuping2, sakit gile, then they gave me some treatment cream to keep it well moisturised to prevent more skin injury. but then they said i couldnt put anything on my face, no sun block, not even a basic foundation powder. but i was adamant to still wear a lipstick, cos hubby once said that i looked like a corpse if i dont wear one, and i sadly admit that. then on the day that we went to bali, my face was so plain and pucat, even the lipstick was so thin anyone would barely see it. first day at bali hubby was so dissappointed i couldnt walk under the sun, he bought me a huge huge hat, but still my face was left red at the end of the day.

lets just forget about the sad part. now the happy part. how we enjoyed ourselves at bali! we decided not to join in any tour, as we didnt like to be occupied with their schedule. both of us agreed that it was going to be a free and easy and relax trip hence we didnt have any fixed plan. first day we went wondering around kuta town. just strolling around town, holding hand with my loved one, that was truly enough for me :) then in the afternoon hubby was so tempted to rent a motorcycle so we rented one despite he had no international driving licence hehe. both of us looked like locals anyway, and we were advised as long as we didnt pass any red light or drive the opposite way than the traffic, then we should be ok. talking about being adventurous! and mischievious too hehe.

anyway that same afternoon we went to tanah lot. all by ourselves! no map whatsoever, just some local direction. altho i'm not the kind that like to take risk, but doing it every now and then gave me such a thrill hehe. and to do it with my dearest one, who i trust will always keep me safe and protected, it created a whole new feeling. and i like it :P

so we reached tanah lot, which is famous for its temple and most importantly, for its sunset venue. the temple was huge, and the architecture was overwhelming too. we spent a few hours there, enjoyed the sunset (although it was cloudy that day, but i didnt mind it a bit. all i knew i was there with the person i love most in the world, so i didnt bother with the rest haha). we bought some souveniors (gosh my spelling is getting worse) there as i found that it was cheaper there compared to kuta town. anyway, we left tanah lot after sunset, and again we had to find our way back to the hotel.

on the second day, i decided to treat hubby with some massage. not by me, lol, but i paid for both of us to have a balinese massage together. i've always loved massage, but hubby never actually experienced one before. balinese massage is different than the usual massage that i used to have, which was jawa massage, but it was as good. hubby opinion? he didnt say anything, but since he didnt complain about it, i assumed he liked it hehe. then in the afternoon, after taking a nap at the hotel first (that's why i like it free and easy, we can do whatever we like, anytime hehe), we decided to drive to nusa dua, as hubby wanted to find a better, cleaner beach than the one's in kuta. but it was a dissappointing one. i knew that nusa dua is the place where all the big and rich hotels are situated and that their beaches are beautiful, but i didnt expect that the beaches were not allowed for public. we eventually found a public beach there, but it wasnt as beautiful as we expected it to be. after a few minutes of straightening our legs, we were off to kuta back.

to cut the story short, we went to kuta beach instead that afternoon. to my surprise, hubby bought me something (figure out yourself haha) for me to wear at the beach. haha i was too embarassed to wear it at the beach but i did have it on when we went for the hotel's swimming pool later that evening, of course when nobody was there haha. and that night, hubby brought me out for a dinner, a candle-light one, at this one nice place along the beach. it was so romantic, in fact i had never felt this romantic before. i couldnt stop smiling that night. and that after that we went strolling along the beach, i was so happy, i couldnt describe it in words. it felt like as if i was in a fairytale, you know i dont believe in fairytale, but that night i really felt out-of-this-world kind of feeling. hmm..

........just let me tersengih sorang2 kejap...... heheh.....

ok, back to earth. the next morning, ie our last day in bali, we decided to relax and did nothing. woke up late, had our breakfast, then took pictures around the hotel. the taxi came at 12 to bring us to the airport and so, selamat tinggal bali! there were so many happy memories there, although we were there for less than 4 days, but it felt like it was longer. the locals were nice and friendly, sometimes overly friendly haha and they are helpful too.

anyway, better stop now to continue my work. fuh, i feel fully charged now, writing a blog is indeed a therapy, at least for me, especially when i write on happy things. cant wait to see hubby this weekend! :D