My World

2 entries in a weekend? i must be in a good, very good mood then. nah. sunday would never make me in a good mood. am due to leave newcastle again this evening for whitehaven. it's 3 more weeks to go before i'm moving back to newcastle for good. 3 more weeks! damn i cant wait. i'm so not looking forward to the final rotation, and guess what, it's the least favourite rotation of mine...paediatrics. ba dibla.. it's a known fact that i hate children, and to spend the next 3 weeks with them, it's something that i most not looking forward to. waaa 3 more weeks to go!

but i'm still in an ok mood today. not too bad for a sunday-mood. i had made several calls back home, talked to my beloved for ages, and he was in a good mood, so that makes me a good mood as well. i talked to mama for some time too, so that's good. as always, sunday tele sucks, so i got nothing else to do. weather's outside is cloudy, moody and an absolute grey, so i aint going outside with that kind of weather. so i guess i'll be doing my blog today. finally i have some mood to write the things that i had done over the summer.

this is like a summary, more for the sake of my memory, i like to read it out again some time in the future especially when i'm sad and down.

i went back on the 9th of june, until 28th of august. that was 11 weeks or 12 weekends. i had 2 free weeks before that to wait for my 4th year result on the 7th, so i worked like hell on those 2 weeks and managed to bag quite an amount of money. it was sad to leave the place that i had worked for 2 years, they even threw me a mini farewell party, it was sad but i was happy; it showed their appreciation to my work. i got my final cheque on the 6th, my result on the 7th (wed) and the 8th was spent with all the nits and bits before leaving the UK. there were bills and rents to settle, i felt good to have saved enough money to pay the bills and rents for the 3 months i was in malaysia.

so on the 9th of june (fri) i left brighton grove at 4 in the morning to catch a flight to heathrow. then my flight to KLIA was at noon. i arrived at about 7-8 in the saturday morning and i had got myself a smiley monkey waiting for me at KLIA :D

so 1st weekend: arrived at KLIA. saturday at ampang with sayang and my family. got them lots and lots of presents. left ampang for kuantan with iwan. mama and abah had to stay in ampang for the latter had a meeting in KL for several weekdays. lucky i got iwan with me to stay in kuantan. started my elective placement in Poliklinik Masyarakat Jaya Jading, Kuantan that monday. was still on jetlag. went back to KL that friday.

2nd weekend: trip to singapore! with mama and kak lysa. mama shopped like hell there. puas hati sgt2. i bought kak lysa her first make-up for her birthday. she was very happy to have her bobby brown's foundation and compact powder. then mama pun angkut sekali haha. then i had to return to kuantan that sunday to continue my electives.

3rd weekend: kuching trip! with my sayang. i left kuantan for KL on thursday evening, and left KL for kuching on early friday. sayang was in a very good mood. didnt shop much but that didnt matter. we had such, such a good time. came back on monday, went straight back to kuantan to continue my electives. ayoo you can see i did lots and lots of travelling.

4th weekend: kelantan trip! i finished my electives in kuantan and continued my 2nd placement in HUSM kubang kerian. sayang was kindly enough to send me there. singgah sat at his family's house at machang for lunch before heading to kota bharu and HUSM. the uni hostel was full so they had me stayed at the nearby motel for several days. felt very lonely.

5th weekend: mt first free weekend. as if! i decided to experience kota bharu myself. left kubang kerian on friday afternoon for KB. i was very lucky to get a room in KB, cos apparently they are usually fully booked for weekends. jalan2 kota bharu. planned to go a bit further tapi tak berani plak, so stayed at the hotel until monday early morning, to continue my electives training in HUSM.

6th weekend: trip to machang. azali's family travelled to HUSM to pick me up. i planned to get the bus, but i didnt think they were convinced with me taking the public transport so they went to fetch me instead. it was my first time staying in their place, without azali with me. of course i was worried, but it went very well. they were very nice, especially his mother. went back to kubang kerian on sunday.

7th weekend: trip back to kuantan. finally i finished my electives. my parents and kak lysa drove to kelantan to get me. we stayed overnight in KB, and mama shopped again haha. singgah machang on our way back, and had lunch there. it was my family's first trip to azali family's house. azali's mum bekalkan me some durian and i liked that. arrived kuantan on sunday evening.

8th weekend: terengganu trip! it was abah's company annual family day. we stayed at the gorgeous awana kijal hotel and kak lysa and i got a luxurious executive suite all for ourselves! iwan and jiman couldnt join us, and they were very jealous when we told them about the hotel haha. i had my first mandi pantai for a long time. i also had a jawa massage at the hotel. good weekend!

9th weekend: started to get busy with jiman's wedding. kuantan-kl-kuantan-kl every 2 to 3 days. we live in kuantan, but most of the guests are in kl, plus mama couldnt get a good place in kuantan for the reception, plus jiman's then-fiancee lives in ampang too. it was the first wedding for our family, so there were lots of pressure and anxiety there. they finally decided to have it in dewan tabung haji a few months ago. i was busy travelling here and there to get the stuff i needed for the hantaran

10th weekend: still busy with the wedding. mama got panic attacks several times, while abah was as busy as ever with his work. which left me and kak lysa to sort out most of the things. jiman was a cool as a cucumber. seriously. i admire him so much. he's 24, has a stable job, got tons of savings, already bought a good car and house and is about to marry the love of his life. how he does it i dont know. nice lad

11th weekend: my birthday! azali and i had a very, very nice day. i had promised to spend the whole day with him, which i did, so he was in a very good mood. he asked me to dress nicely for dinner, which i did. i was very surprised for him to give such effort to dress very smartly himself for the occasion. i had the perfect birthday of all :)

12th weekend: this was it. my last weekend. jiman's nikah was on friday night (25th august), his wife's family reception was the next day (saturday), our dewan tabung haji's reception was on sunday, and my flight back to uk was on monday! such, such a tiring weekend. but it all went smooth and well. everybody liked the hantaran that i made hehe. lots and lots of guests turned up. i was soo tired that monday i couldnt remember who sent me to KLIA? i think it was my parents, cos azali had to host his family who came all from kelantan to attend my bro's wedding over the weekend.

i left KLIA on monday noon (28 august), registered at the uni on tuesday, went to carlisle on friday morning to start my rotation, stayed there for 6 weeks, then moved to whitehaven on the the 13th oct for another 6 weeks. now i cant wait for november 24th, where i can finally return to newcastle and have my usual and proper life here. i'm going to stay in newcastle after that, travel everyday to north tyneside hospital for 3 weeks, before the christmas hols which starts on the 16th of dec. and that is when everybody is looking forward to. we are off to barcelona on the 17th! me and my whole housemates! yup, i'll be going with my favouratest people in the whole world! barcelona! isnt life grand?

happy days... enough said

at my brother's wedding. got 1001 and more pics, but am too lazy to update my fotopages. can go to my sis in law's fotopages http://imelda.fotopages.com. she's cool, and she was surely looked pretty on her wedding day :)

pics above were taken at my family's reception at dewan tabung haji. my younger brother, yup he's 2 years younger but lots and lots more matured than me, got married on the 25th of August 2006, and our family's reception was on the 27th (sunday). it was a very, very busy day, lots and lots of people came, i had got myself some very special guests, ie azali's family. they came all over from kelantan tuu, and my family was honoured to have them, and it was of course my task to host them.

oh i miss those happy memories. i miss malaysia. i miss my family. i miss him very mostly..

ha ha ha kul 5am and why am i still awake? siapkan elective report ma.. wa wa wa it's my fault for procastinating ha ha ha

obviously one's mind ada sket tak betul at 5 o'clock in the morning..

la la la i got a new toy today la la la
best best best best best

i'm beginning to enjoy make-ups now la la la. hi hi hi i got a good sifu la la la you know who you are la la la

she introduced me to so many good things. most importantly she introduced me with dermalogica, and within a few months, no more blemishes and minimum pores! then she got me to know bobby brown, which has the perfect foundation! dia manusia paling best satu dunia tuk kuar shopping make-ups with! seriously.

my make-ups now:
foundation + concealer + lipstick = bobby brown
face powder = mac
eye-liner = rimmel
lipliner = lancome

and now i have those gorgeous benefit blusher + illuminator! best best

i got some other make-ups as well but these are my fav ones that i treasure most and i will bring them wherever i go.

ape lagi nak carik ha? hi hi hi

i dont wear mascara. dont like it as i tonyoh mata quite often gak la. i got a few eye-shadows, but i dont wear them that often. well, even the make-ups above pun tak pakai everyday, dont want to overdo myself when going to hosp. now pun make-up suka2 je, like mase weekends je or bile ade ape2 function.

ok time to bed!

it's that time again.

i think this template suits me better. i'm not feeling 100% nowadays, so black is THE colour. i wish to have more black but then no one would be able to read, or see, anything, so i choose the most black ready-made template out there. cant even bother to make one myself. like i know how to huh.

i hate sunday. it means that monday and the rest of the weeks are coming. it means that i have to leave newcastle. again.

moody. moody.

i'm going to start whinging now. do go away if you dont feel like it.

i've just spent the last 6 weeks in carlisle. and i've just moved to whitehaven this weekend. for another 6 weeks. i dont mind the places, but the distance sucks. damn sucks. here's something for you to have a clearer view:



100 miles. 160 km. no car. not even a license. AND someone actually wants to buy me a car but i cant. stupid no license. super sucks. AND someone actually wants to come to visit me but i cant. why? cos i'm in a somewhere hospital accommodation, very like a hostel with rooms in a long corridor with shared toilets and everything. cant-find-a-ruder-word-wirda-help-me sucks.

super tired body. 4 bloody hours.

and raya...

no i dont even want to start. you dont want me to start

helo there!

it's been a looonngg time since my last entry. i've been quite bz myself, doing my electives and a bit of travelling here and there. i'm at husm kubang kerian currently, and supposedly start obs & gynae today, but my supervisor is not here at the moment, so i got the day off. which is sucks. never would i complain on having a day off, but being here, there is nothing else to do. seriously. they gave me the guest room, meaning i got a huge room, en suite, all for myself, but there is no tv. which is super sucks. when they told me i got a room here, i thought i would live in the hostels, with all the students. that is one of the reason why i choose husm. to become a student again. not a guest. hempeh. i know i know i should be grateful to be given a comfortable place to live and sleep.

husm is actually quite good. i learnt a lot, altho it still takes me some time to understand the locals, but to have now to understand 60-70% of what they are talking about, i think that should be ok. there are also a few funny things that i've learnt as well. like when we try to test vocal resonance, in newcastle we tend to ask patient to say 'ninety nine' while we auscultate, but here in kelantan, we ask the patient to say 'nenek nenek'. which is soo funny. and then when we ask the patient to take their breath in and out through their mouth while we auscultate, here we say, 'nyawa pakcik, nyawa', which is sooo damn funny.

'one shall not laugh at the locals culture and behaviour'. hehe

ok, where should i start? i shall start at the beginning, and i'll try to write as simple as possible.

i started when i left newcastle airport for london. it was uneventful. it was at heathrow when things got really bad. i promised myself not to fly through this airport again. my baggage was overweight, and i had to leave a lot of things behind. which was very hard for me, as i love and value my stuff a lot. and the staff wasnt that helpful and considerate either. i'm not blaming them, it's a busy airport, and it was indeed my fault for having overweight baggages. fine. super fine. i dont want to think of the stuff that i had to leave behind.

klia. got to see my beloved. enough said. wait for my pics with all (really) wide smiles =D

we went to putrajaya after that. got a few pics. makan makan makan. then he sent me back to my family in ampang. only me and iwan went back to kuantan the next day. abah had some meetings in kl the next week, but i had to be in kuantan on monday to start my electives.

started my electives the very next monday. it was a fair one. the clinic is a small community clinic, and people from all over kuantan come to get some treatment. i've never been to government's clinics before, and it was an eye-opening experience to have attached myself there. most of the equipment are not enough, and the patients have to wait for a while the nurse cleans, steams and sterilises the equipment, just to get a wound cleaned. it took me a while to take history in full bm, i didnt realise how many english words i use everyday, simple words like 'so' and 'and'. high blood pressure and diabetes are the commonest chronic conditions, but the compliance is very poor. enough said. i managed to practise my venesection skill a few times and also cleaned some wounds and even performed a few ecgs (a really really old and traditional one).

1st weekend: singapore. it was a splendid one. i went there with kak lysa and mama, to take advantage of the great singapore sale. mama shopped like mad, kak lysa was the guide, as she was there last year and that she knew the place. me? haha bawak bontot je la hehe. all fares mama sponsor, from tickets, to hotels and food. hehehehe. plus some money-pocket lagi hehehe. student lagi maaa hehehe. i was quite surprised with singapore; i like it. whenever i go to foreign places, i tend to like it because it's different, but nothing compares to my hometown. i'm quite patriotic, you see. i love my homeland, a lot. but in singapore, it was the first town that i really like, and if the opportunity comes, i dont mind working there. in fact, i want to live there. the town is super clean, super organised, lots and lots and LOTS of shopping malls and the people i like, they mind their own business, respect each other, not busy-body like makcik2 kat malaysia yg suke benor jaga kain org. in kl, people do mind their own business, but up to the point of being selfish and arrogant, but in singapore, it's not. hmm now i feel guilty for comparing things between other people and places with my homeland. i know malaysia is not perfect, but i do love them, with all my heart.

2nd weekend: kuching. with azali. it's the company that i like. the town? 4 days in kuching? hmm... overall it was a good one, the reason for me to go for this trip is to spend some good quality time with azali, and we got that. what else could i ask for?

3rd weekend: trip to husm kubang kerian. azali drove me there. got the chance to visit my future-in-laws, well, that is one of the reason why i choose husm; that is to get to know azali's family better. azali visits my family every now and then, but i only see his parents 3 times: once mase merisik, then mase tunang, then 2 years ago when azali and i drove to machang. i know it's not my fault, i only come back to malaysia once or twice a year, and the most i spend in malaysia was 3 to 4 weeks and usually i got lots of other things to do and settle and no time for a trip up north to see his parents.

so here i am, about 1 hour journey by car to azali's parents in machang. i plan to visit his parents this weekend, where i plan to spend a night there. it would be my first trip without azali be with me. well, like mama said, pandai2 la bawak diri. hope everything goes well.

it's my 3rd week here, and my 2nd last week. i went to kl last weekend, to send iwan, my youngest bro to utp tronoh. i was also feeling a bit homesicky last week. home situation is fair, and with now iwan is away, things might get from fair to bad, but everyone is now tired and sick and just try to accept things as it is. whatever happens, happens.

ok, i know this entry will be a long one. my ol laptop is now under azali's surveilance, poor old laptop, this is its 6th year of service, mmg nampak uzur benar, i hope it can maintain for 1 more year until i finish my study.

it's 11 am now, on my day off, in a place with no MNG and no cinema and no astro (no tv!) and no mama's food, what should i do? visit muzium negeri kat kota bharu? if you say yes, then you only knew me yesterday haha. think i'll browse some more, go to the library that closes at 5 and i cant borrow any book (!!), stay there for a while, get my lunch and then... i'll figure out later. i rather miss newcastle. the company, my own sweet room, my BELOVED tv (oh tv i lap u..), the kitchen where i can make and bake anything, the exhibition park where i can jog (more like walk hehe) anytime. it's 6 more weeks in malaysia, and no, i dont want to leave my beloved homeland, but that doesnt prevent me for missing my 2nd home in newcastle.

hmm..wonder what ellina is doing now in indonesia? sudah panjat gunung ka? hope she's fine :)

damn it i over-ate myself. again. sigh. i feel damn bloated now huh

4 more days to go yippee!

off on a jet plane
dont know when i'll be back again

wrong. i'm be back on 28 of august ha ha.

understandably, i cant wait to go home. unfortunately there are a few worries that i have in mind. well i dont know. maybe it's just me, trying to complicate things. worrying over things that arent supposed to be worried about. but it's been bugging in my head since last night. poor azali had to listen to it all. told ya he has ears as thick as steel haha

i dont like to do favours for people that i dont like. i can be sincerely nice to those that i like, and as much as i try to control myself, those that i dont like often know that i dont like them. as easy as that. as much as i want to be nice, kind and fair, but i cant. it's more that i dont want to.

i'm anxious over some little things. anxious over coming to my last day at work this wednesday, where they will have a farewell party for me. anxious over getting my result on the same day, and faxing it to mara. anxious over leaving my room, i dont like people touching my stuff without me being there. anxious for the trip, but there's no surprise there. anxious if i ever loose my bag again. anxious over meeting azali at the airport, yup, he's picking me up, i'm anxious for the butterflies feeling that i know i will have whenever i meet him. anxious to see his familiar face that i so long to see. am also anxious over meeting someone at home. i think he's anxious as well, no i think he IS scared on seeing me that he avoids seeing me on the first day at all! i... tend to show my true emotion on my face. i... tend to voice up whenever i feel injustice over something. i admit i am anxious on meeting him. whatever it will be, i know i have to be strong, and mature, for the sake of my loved ones.

enough said. i know i put more questions than statements. part of me is dying to say it out loud, along with some good curses, but another part of me say i shouldnt do that, in respect for those that i care for and for the sake of avoiding arguments.

i wish i could skip all these anxious-ness and just close my eyes to open it again to see sayang's face...