My World

OH. MY. GOD.

I. CANT. BELIEVE. MY. LUCK.

I. AM. SOOOO. HAPPY. HAHAHAHAHAHA :DDDD



Epson PictureMate Photo Printer


when i bought the olympus last weekend with elina, the salesman asked me to leave my address and contact number for a contest. yup, you guessed it right, I WON!!

i have never won a single thing in my life, jap, let me think, nope, dont think so. so i guess my time is up!! i got a missed call this morning as i had my mobile in silent mode cos i had a clinic this morning. i dont usually call back a missed call, but this time i think it was something important as the number that appeared on my mobile screen ended up with 000, so i guess it is maybe from the meds school, or from my consultant's secretary etc. so i rang the number back when i finished my class at 4.30, and it was from johnlewis (the shop where i bought the olympus). then they told me i won the 1st place in a lucky draw (yup, i dont even have to answer a single question!). of course, as everyone would predicted, i rushed to town to pick up the gift la. they said there were 2 people who won first place and i felt sooo damn lucky. it worth 150pounds! best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best

cant stop menyeringai (bet nadine doesnt know this word hahah)

well, i think it's the best time to write about the camera story. i dont care about other people, i am so happy right now!

it wasnt impulse buying. i wanted to buy a camera since raya, when i realised that everybody has a camera, and i didnt even own one for ages. then i went to friends' fotopages, and i felt it would rather nice to own a digital camera. but the main reason is for mr monkey. he told me once that he wanted to see more pictures of me and my surrounding, since he is 11 000km away from me. for someone who is willing to go to a cyber cafe and pays 4 ringgit an hour just to see my pictures, i am forever grateful. initially i wanted to buy a simple digital camera. am certainly not a gadget type of girl. i was looking for a straightforward, easy digi camera that doesnt cost much. from my friends, i knew i have to get a 3megapixels++ digi cam, plus 128MB memory card. full stop. wasnt looking for anything great. then about after christmas, i was about to buy a nice and simple and cheap digi cam with my gaji, then someone said 'why not you wait for a couple of months more and kumpul more money then get a nicer digi cam'. i wasnt that keen tho for that idea, as i said, i'm not buying a camera for its prize-winning functions, i just wanted a camera that take pictures and then put it in the computer and then send it to azali. full stop.

then came the ever so stylish olympus mini mju. slick gile gile. plus it comes in many cool colours. i was in love with the orange olympus. gile lawa. i never actually saw one, just watch it from a tv advert, tapi mmg la lawa. but i know it's 250pounds ++ and that doesnt include the memory card or casing. even in the internet it is still expensive, it is about 260 includes memory card + casing + postage cost. then i realised that my cheque was delayed and that more and more money was accumulated and one day i received a 300++ cheque. cool. then came elina. she's the best luck charm anyone can have.

see, it wasnt impulse buying. i've been longing to own a digi camera for sometime, and done some research about it.

she brought me to johnlewis, a big shop in newcastle where i seldom go. she wanted to show me the olympus itself, cos apparently there is only the silver or black olympus in dixons or argos. there are 6 colours all together; black, silver, white, orange, blue and red. i was eager to see the orange olympus, but i knew i wanted the red when i saw one. its proper name is velvet red, for me it is metallic reddish pink peach. LAAWWWAAAAAA. cair cair.. and that's not all. the salesman said there was a promotion at the store, for the weekend only, the olympus price was 199pounds + a free 128MB memory card. but i told him i wanted a case for the camera. he smiled and said slowly that he might have an extra case. leather case tuh for mju camera. i knew i couldnt get any cheaper anywhere else (in the uk la) so i bought it with a (very) big smile on my face. still have it tho :DDDDD

have i told you that the salesman took me and elina picture together (with the olympus la) and printed it in 2 copies for each of us (with the printer above lah). baik gile.

and today i received a gift worth 150 pounds. i should be happy right? bet i am :DDD

ya Allah bosannye psychiatry!

still terkial2 lagi nk abiskan keje. waaaaaaaaaa

serious tak leh concentrate. tibe2 terus rase ngantuk bile try nk taip keje. tu lom lagi bukak buku! nk tercabut biji mata........zzzzzzz

happyV. wa wa wa miss mr monkey.....

sigh..camne nk siapkan keje nih..3 cases + 1 presentation + oral assessment waaaaaaaa

bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan bosan

sejuk gile

i'm addicted to pineapple juice

waaaaaa unipolar bipolar schneider's first rank thought broadcasting CAGE hypomania zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

oh my new mini mju gua lap uuu

bosan bosan bosan

desperately nk baby. nak baby nak baby nak baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby...wat to do..no sperm ahaks. plus dont think anyone want to have a psycho mother

dermalogica or lancome? decision decision

next workbag or nine west shoes? dream on. fat chance haha

okeh, i've made up my mind. tv here i come!

MINE MINE MINE

good day everyone

too lazy to write anything.

yup, it's mine. got it yesterday. exact colour, exact camera. :DDDD

got this feeling that somebody wouldnt like it if i talk too much about the new camera, well maybe i write about it some other time.

nite

ps: just made my own fotopages. dont think anyone wants to look at it, it is a plain one, i made it for mr monkey, he once said he wanted to see more pics of me. this is the main reason i decided to own a digi cam :) happy valentine sayang. am truly yours xXx

during chinese new year, you should try a precedent for the coming year. avoid foul or abusive language as well as bad and negative words. fighting is also seen as bad luck.

when you cry on new year's day then you will cry throughout the year, it is believed. naughty children are tolerated rather than punished, to prevent them from bursting into tears.

i'm trying to be happy today. in fact, there were several good news today, so i am indeed happy. last night's CSIs were good, and i had a pleasant sleep afterwards. you see, my day doesnt start in the morning, it starts the night before. i had my typical wednesday, went to work this morning and received 2 good news. 1st, my overdue pay cheque, i dont mind late cheques, it just means more money accumulated. then they offered me a new position in the surgery. now i just put some old written medical notes in the computers, now they want to me to put the latest data received from the hospitals and MDT (multidisplinary teams like physio, lab results, pharmaco etc) into the computers. it means heavier responsibility as i have to learn to read codes and put the latest data ie the important data in the computer or give it directly to the gp. should i take it? i do like a bit of challenge, but at the same time i'm scared of the responsibility. plus i'm not sure how hard it will be and how it will affect my study time. of course i put my study first before everything. but this is a good opportunity to learn something new. and it also says that they are satisfied with my current work to give me an even harder work that have more responsibility. we'll see..

then i received another good news from the bank. the thing that i've been waiting for the past 5 months has finally arrived yippee!! after sengih sorang2 for about 1/2 hour, i went to buy some groceries and wished the people at tsang food a gong xi fa cai. you know what, i've made up my mind about this blog. i'm happy with this blog, it has fulfilled its purpose, it's the place where i can pour down my thoughts without a single hesitation, and it is all true and honest. but then i think it would be a boring one if i put my thought in every single blog. so i decided to put something new. like some other blog the owner put down their interest as well, like music, comics, medicine (...), well, i tried hard to get some of the latter in my blog, but believe me, it's hard. i couldnt think of anything interesting about medicine to put in here, sori! i attend every single class everyday, be as punctual as they expect every student to be, i do every single assignment they required, i spend some of my leisure time in the library to study, bought most of the books they required, but to write about medicine in my blog? i cant find a single interesting topic to write down! funny funny. of all the things that i have in my complicated mind, from babies to horoscopes, from canada to snooker, i couldnt think of a single topic in medicine interesting. hahaha. sedih pun ade.

so i decided to put some new facts that i learn every day, from the internet, papers or from anything that i see on that day. it might sound boring, well, i give it a try:

in 1996, the world was shocked with the birth of dolly the sheep, the first mammal clone from an adult cell. cloning always fascinates me. i remember making an informal report about cloning during a-levels. you might not know this, but cloning plays a very important role for me to get an offer from newcastle meds school. i put cloning in my ucas personal statement. of course the interviewers asked this topic and expected me to have a limit knowledge as cloning at that time is very new and almost unheard of in malaysia. as cloning has been my personal interest from the first time i read about it in the newscientist magazine, i was able to give some good answers, even the interviewers was quite impressed with my cloning knowledge haha. seb baik die taktanye psl my french or guitar club, both of which i put in my personal statement, when the true fact was that i quit both club just 1 week after joining them ahah well that is another story.

i had most of my information from the internet, as cloning in malaysia is not as big as in everywhere else in the world. so i knew almost everything, i know i cant know everything, but i know the basic technique of cloning, how the half gene in the egg need to be replaced by a full gene of an adult cell, which has 2n gene (eg: n being 23 in human). eggs and sperms are the two living cells that have n or half gene than the normal 2n adult cell. the process is very complicated, with a very high failure rate, but it is do-able. before dolly was born, there were polly, rolly and many more of dolly's twins which got mutated and failed to generate another new living thing. and today, the creator of dolly has been granted a license to clone human embyoes for medical research. i have mixed view about cloning. i am as eager as other science people about this cloning phenomena, it is thrilled to think of the possible results, but at the same time i am very worried of the possible future that it may hold, especially in this more and more awkward and corrupted world. cloning can bring a new exciting and better world, but it can also cause destruction if it falls to the wrong man. i believe cloning is too exciting to be left on the shelf, and the world has to accept its presence sooner or later. the only thing that we can hope for is for cloning to be monitored and controlled, reasonably and wisely.

fuh, serious stuff. cant believe i wrote that. actually i want to write about other stuff as well, like the difference between a mass murderer and a serial killer, plus the criterias to be labelled as one, which i got from the internet, it's very interesting indeed. and do you know that liger and tigron exist? liger is an animal which has a lion as a father, and a tigress as a mother. and tigron is when the father is a tiger and the mother is a lion. liger and tigron dont have a scientific name, yet, and they dont exist naturally in the wild, they are the product of captive breeding programme. and they have stripes and spots too...interesting.. hmm

sorry if this blog bores you.

night!

i lost my temper today. sigh.

i know i should have controlled it. well, at least i didnt shout in the public. instead i just went away from the source that cause my anger, and decided to go home and miss the afternoon session. not good huh. sigh.

what would you do if someone force you to do something that you dont want to do? especially when that something is totally pointless? then when i tried to politely refuse to do it (and i tried hard to be polite to this person, believe me), she just shouted my name in public and stared at me fiercely, as if i was a small girl who will get smack later by her parents for not behaving good in a supermarket. who does she think i am?

then we were supposed to have a gp session somewhere in wallsend where i couldnt reach by public transport and thus need to get a lift from her (she got a car). and she said not once, not twice, but 6+ times that if i dont do the things that she asks me to do, she wouldnt give me a lift for the gp afternoon session. you? blackmailing me?

i'm pretty sure tomoro she will say that it was all a joke and it was me who couldnt take jokes.

just go to hell girl. may you rot unmercifully there, you spoilt biggest ever ass bitch.

people said that i am short tempered. cepat panas. but can you tell me how the hell can i stand this type of person? believe me, i tried really hard to be nice to her, and try to accept her the way she is, as i know she is my rotation partner until july. i tried really really damn hard. i promised myself not to be rude to her, and tried really damn hard to see the good things in her.

but she was the one who told me that i have no friend, when i refused to be the 'middle person' between her and my teaching tutor, who she has a crush on but strictly in denial but it was damn obvious until my teaching tutor made an official complaint about her, which had resulted her a 'U' in the final FoCP. complicated story she has, now she is in the process of making a complaint about my teaching tutor, saying that it was he who hit on her at the first place.

yet today she asked me to accompany her to go to the student office, which is in front of the teaching tutors office. and i refused to do this. she wanted to go there to get the parking coin, where she usually gets from the hospital receptionist at the main hospital entrance, which is on our way out. but today is different than the usual day. my teaching teacher was alone in the office and it would be a perfect opportunity to see him alone. and she wanted to drag me along, for a good excuse, as i was his teaching tutee, and it would not be awkward for a teaching tutee to see her teaching tutor at his office

please please dont drag me along your sick scandal

and she was the one who told me i am a freak because i like to do things on my own, mind my own business, dont like talk about other people aka bitching and dont like attention. obviously she didnt take statistic during a-levels. she thinks that everyone likes attention, like her. duh

and the next day she said that it was all jokes, and i should not take it seriously.

i'm trying to remain calm here (although inside i feel like i can kill someone tonight, damn serious)

there is a clear line between being over-sensitive and patience

though my weekend had ruined and i think my relationships with the others were more or less affected, i will try to be calm

i dont want to be like those primary school students who tak kawan tu, tak kawan ni, main geng2. that is childish.

i try to have my day as it is and try hard to let go of the past. no more anti-depressant, no more counselling, no more anhedonia. i have more promises to fulfill, for the old, the young, and for the unborn ones. i try really hard to face my day everyday for the sake of the promised future.

i dont want to waste my time on this mother fucking bitch

felt much better today. much much better.

it was one of my bad day, i guess.

hope i didnt hurt anyone. though there was a suspicious entry in one of my friend's blog. but i am pretty sure he will approach me directly if i was the person he referred to. well, i dont want to ruin this day by being too suspicious or concious.

it all started with a friend's hurtful comments. then another friend's moody face. plus the horrible weather. and the workloads. finally, an insensitive fiance. well, past is past and i felt much better today.

had a good dream last night. in fact that dream cured the weekend misrableness. it was a sweet one. i told 2 persons about the dream and both of them laughed so i wont make the same mistake by mentioning it here. just to say i'm so happy to see her again. i dont know how i can care so much for someone who doesnt even exist, yet, and i was actually crying when i woke up this morning. i woke up and realised it was a dream and i cried because i miss her. the feeling was again overflowing, but this time, with happiness.

someone who i cared so much (this time she exists and breathes like everyone else if anyone is wondering) is having a dilemma, between 2 guys. which is good, cause if you know her, she's the type of person who is quite emotionless when it comes to relationship point of view. i called her yesterday after not having heard her voice for almost 6 months, and for the first time she talks about her relationship. although it is a dilemma, but at least it is a relationship dilemma. i am glad she finally opens her heart to someone, and hope the best man wins :)

oh how i miss that person from my dream! when are you going to visit me again, dear? you guys must really think what a freak i am! haha...it's good to have a smile on my face again...