1/18/2004 02:50:00 PM 0 Comments »
stop all the anger and hatred. i have been an angry person for so long, guess it's time for me to be calm and be in peace. i admit i'm degil/tekad/selfish/individualistic, so be it. not that i'm proud of it, but so be it. i admit i'm all the above, but dont want to get rid of it, but that doesnt mean i dont want to change to a better person. it's been with me for so long, it's part of me, my personality, some knew bout it, some dont, so be it. i dont have that many frens, but with all the frens that i knew and have, i cherish them dearly. they accept me for who i am. i even surprised myself with all the frens that i have today, especially regarding azali. never ever imagine i could meet a person who understands and cares for me so much.

oklah oklah, enuff already. change the topic and mood. might sound a bit weird, but this has been in my mind since ages ago...

one of my worst fear. is to die alone. in an unexpected place. and nobody discover my body until, like 2 weeks later when my body has already started to decompose, or even worst worst, not found at all. i want a proper grave (heheh). with a proper body lah. so i would rather prefer, not that i want to!, to die in a road traffic accident ke etc, so that my body can be found, and not to rot alone, nowhere.

another odd fantasy of elly, of course ;P